AltarianTechDefsText.xml
AltarianXenoIndustrializationTech_Dec
"Everything is harder on the surface of an alien world. But nothing [is] so difficult that it can't be surpassed by Altarian ingenuity."
AltarianXenoAgriculturalAdaptation_Dec
"Advanced farms will enable us to grow more food than ever before, even on the strange alien worlds Altarians now so often find themselves [on]."
AltarianPrecursorRelicFocus3_Dec
"Discovering a new Precursor relic often boosts the local economy, as manufacturers scramble to replicate a its appearance or effects. If we study what's most marketable, we might be able to increase this economic effect a bit."
AltarianLogisticalOptimization3_ShortDec
"Reduces starport[shipyard] decay rate."
AltarianLogisticalOptimization3_Dec
"Starports[Shipyards] are very expensive to maintain. Cost savings should be straightforward to find, allowing money to be spent elsewhere to perhaps greater effect."
AltarianShieldSystems_Dec
"Our latest shield systems provide far more protection then[than] earlier deflectors, and are now capable of stopping incoming ordnance and beams rather than just deflecting them."
AltarianDurantiumCompositeTech_Dec
"In our ongoing efforts to keep our crews safe, we've invented a composite which has incredible damage absorption potential, which we call Durantium. Our armor systems will now be much tougher."{Isn't Durantium mined?}
AltarianPrecursorHistory_Dec
"By better understanding the history of the Precusors[Precursors], we can begin taking steps to make our race even greater than it already is."
AltarianPrecursorRelicFocus_Dec
"Now that we've observed the impact that Precusor[Precursor] relics have on our society, we can coax Altarians to react to them in very specific ways."
AltarianZeroGravityOptimization_Dec
"Expanding the scale of our micro gravity construction has proven to be a challenging but rewarding exercise. And recently, our construcion[construction] managers have found a few ways we can begin building even more efficiently."
AltarianDroneSystemMastery_Dec
"Drone systems provide incredible proteciton[protection] against missile attacks. But no system is perfect, and our engineers believe we can still find cost or weight savings in these systems."
AltarianPoliticalMastery_Dec
"We are masters of civilized debate and rational thinking, and all of Altaria benefits for it. So great is our powers of self-control that the most advanced polticial[political] footings are now available to us."
Thank you for reporting.
On Ruthless Vision
The malevolent choice should be
Forcibly Volunteer[volunteer] the least popular a[remove the a] crew member from each ship to undergo the transformation, giving them a chance to make something valuable of themselves.
I think a slightly less awkward suggestion would be:
"Advanced farms will enable us to grow more food than ever before, even on the strange alien worlds [where] Altarians now so often find themselves."
AnomalyDefText.xml
LostSurveyAnomoly_Name
"One Wormhole to[too] Many"
ColonizeEventText.xml
RuinsEvent_Dec
"The primitive species that occupy this planet was[were] once far more technologically advanced, and accidentally ruined their civilization in some kind of nuclear war several hundred years ago. Ruined cities dot the planet, and will likely contain valuable resources we could easily recycle. But the natives regard these ruins as sacred, and insist we stay away from them. What are your orders?"
Worms_Merciless_Bonus_Name
"We're going to meet things out in the galaxy a lot more terrifying than worms, so let's not be bashful here. Declare war on the worms and take any of their worm treasure. If they don,t[don't] have any treasure, sell their skin or something."
The Sentient Planet and Earthquakes events are listed twice.
Thunderstorms_Dec
"This planet is going through a period of heavy thunderstorm activity. This is effecting[affecting] some ancient ruins near your colony, energizing what was thought to be inert stone, revealing it to be a powerful alien artifact capable of channeling the tremendous energy. Sometimes this energy is channeled into the bodies of anyone standing nearby, with predictably messy consequences. Studying these ruins could prove incredibly valuable, although also dangerous to anyone who has to do it. What are your orders?"
LeftoverRobots_Neutral_Bonus_Name
"Let's not be bashful here; they're pests and can be treated as such. Kill all the robots and feast on their innards."{This sounds more malevolent than pragmatic.}
CosmeticComponentText.xml
Constructor_01_Name
"Constuctor[Constructor]"
Constructor_01_Dec
CultureTraitText.xml
BreakthroughTrait_Dec
"Your culture of open minded acceptance regulary[regularly] encourages the development of great thinkers. One such mind has stepped forward now, leading to massive advances in your understanding of the universe."
EmpathyTrait_ShortDec
"Alows[Allows] the building of a Missionary Center."
ProminenceTrait_Dec
"The culture and standard of living on the core worlds of your civlization[civilization] are admired and envied throughout the galaxy."
AffinityTrait_ShortDec
"Alows[Allows] construction of an Elevation Foundation and the Sanctuary Planetary project."
EnlightenmentTrait_ShortDec
"Alows[Allows] construction of the Temple of Enlightenment Achivement[Achievement]."
QuantumLeapTrait_Dec
"Our civilization has become so attractive that great minds thoughout[throughout] the galaxy have begun migrating to our worlds, beginning a new Golden Age of scientific advancement."
BeaconTrait_Dec
"A reclusive world, long hidden from the rest of the galaxy, has decided that our civilization is a beacon of enlightenment, and worth alligning[aligning] itself with."
BuilderTrait_Dec
"We have established a number of public-private partnerships to encourage the creation of constuctor[constructor] vessels that will help us build out our infrastructure."
MediatorTrait_ShortDe
"Alows[Allows] the building of a Mediation Center, and the Summit Planetary Project[.]"
EfficiencyTrait_ShortDec
"Our starports[shipyards] will operate at 100% at twice the distance from you colonies."
EfficiencyTrait_Dec
"Improved planning has made our starports[shipyards] much more efficient, dramatically improving the effectiveness of our economic and military infrastructure."
InvitingTrait_Dec
"Our civilization's reputation as accomodating[accommodating] hosts has attracted visitors from across the galaxy, dramatically increasing our tourism revenue."
RepressionTrait_Dec
"The Citadel of Repression is spoken of in whispers throughout the galaxy, though few know the techniques it uses to keep even the most dificult[difficult] planet in line. Simply owning one generates 2 additional Malevolent points per turn."
RallyTrait_Dec
"Our civilization is so hungry for violence that each of our planets are able to muster up the resourses[resources] to fabricate a large defensive ship."
ReclamationTrait_Dec
"So little does our civilization care about the plight of its workers, that we're able to make use of terrain once thought dangeously[dangerously] unusable."
FrenzyTrait_Dec
"With each victory, our forces become even more sure of their cause, and more determined to do what is needed to achive[achieve] it."
I think a slightly less awkward suggestion would be:"Advanced farms will enable us to grow more food than ever before, even on the strange alien worlds [where] Altarians now so often find themselves."
Was going to say the same thing.
DrenginTechDefsText.xml
DrenginOrbitalSpecialization1_ShortDec
"Force our Starports[Shipyards] to work better."
DrenginZeroGravityOptimization3_Dec
"It's so much harder to threaten a slaveling when that slaveling has a powerful cutting torch. But we've found a way, and now our starports[shipyards] will be just a little bit more efficient at making ships."
DrenginLogisticalOptimization3_Name
"Sustainable Starports[Shipyards]"
DrenginLogisticalOptimization3_ShortDec
Forces starports[shipyards] to decay less.
DrenginLogisticalOptimization3_Dec
"Starports[Shipyards] don't just stay there being starports[shipyards]. They're always breaking down, which is crap. We put some boring slavelings in charge of making that not happen, which seems to have helped a bit."
DrenginShieldOptimization1_Dec
"The ship's[ships'] crews pointed out that if we make their shields stronger that they'd die less. "And?" we said. Then they said they'd be able to kill more. "There you go,[.]" we said. Anyways, their shields are a little stronger now."
DrenginSaughtertorium[Slaughtertorium]Tech_Name
Saughtertorium[Slaughtertorium]
DrenginSaughtertorium[Slaughtertorium]Tech_ShortDec
DrenginSaughtertorium[Slaughtertorium]Tech_Dec
DrenginResearchMastery_Name
"Research[ ]Mastery"
DrenginPrecursorRelicFocus_Dec
"These Precursor relics have a number of confusing benefits on our society. Although we don't really understand how this is occuring[occurring], we should force them to be better at it."
One that got discussed to death some time ago is the difference between Zone Of Control and Zone Of Influence. If I remember the discussion correctly then the text for the UP resolution "GalacticDomainAct" should be changed from
"All member races agree to no longer build starbases, or colonize planets within the ZOC of another member race. (Players can no longer colonize or build starbase in another players ZOC."
to
" .... within the ZOI of another ... (... in another players ZOI).
I'm not sure it needs the change. But, if it does, you know, I'm going to go with this:
"Advanced farms will enable us to grow more food than ever before, even on the strange alien worlds [which] Altarians now so often find themselves."
I just have a feeling that Altarians are the type not to end their sentences with prepositions. It's something up with which they would not put.
I'm not sure it needs the change. But, if it does, you know, I'm going to go with this:"Advanced farms will enable us to grow more food than ever before, even on the strange alien worlds [which] Altarians now so often find themselves."I just have a feeling that Altarians are the type not to end their sentences with prepositions. It's something up with which they would not put.
Okay, since we're getting nitpicky...
Technically, Blue_Oyster is right, this doesn't need to change because the preposition is present at the beginning of the dependent clause "even on." In terms of its grammar, "even on the strange alien worlds Altarians now so often find themselves" is acceptable.
But it may be easier to read if the dependent clause "even on the strange alien worlds" were attached to the subsequent restrictive (defining) clause "Altarians now so often find themselves" using a pronoun such as "that" or "where."
Using "which" here, however, would not work without a comma since it is a nonrestrictive pronoun. Adding a nonrestrictive clause would require the first phrase to be reworded and would require an additional preposition, "on." So, it could technically be rendered "even on the strange alien worlds[, on which] Altarians now so often find themselves" but this doesn't read well.
So any of the following would be technically correct:
"even on the strange alien worlds[, on which] Altarians now so often find themselves." (awkward)
"even on the strange alien worlds [that] Altarians now so often find themselves." (better)
"even on the strange alien worlds Altarians now so often find themselves." (better)
"even on the strange alien worlds [where] Altarians now so often find themselves." (better)
I prefer the addition of the pronoun "where" for added clarity.
Oops! Sorry, the purpose of the post was more about getting in the Winston Churchill quote, in the context of Altarians (can you imagine them wearing Winston's signature Homberg hat smoking a cigar?), than it was meant to be "nitpicky." As you said, it was OK the way it was, except for the preposition at the end, which many people do not mind, but in my case put me in mind of the Churchill quote, and then from there the swankily haberdashered Alterians, much to my current regret. In fact, it was simultaneously a lampoon on pedantry, which of course is the whole point of Mr. Churchill's quote. I suppose I was being too cute.
But I do congratulate you on your analysis, and in fact agree with your final choice. You, sir, are encouraged and invited to provide an alternate XML file after the Beta III is released. I shall continue to prefer to hyphenate "nit-picky."
Lol. I read right over your Churchill quote--I was just needing a break from my work... which, oddly enough, is editing and proofreading.
So, editing a sentence might not seem like a break from editing to most people, but it is to me because what I'm editing right now is somewhat boring. No Altarians. No strange alien worlds. No snarky Winston Churchill quotes to totally miss.
Well, I think the writing is quite good, overall, though as with all major writing projects, typos and errors happen. I totally admire what Rhonin_the_wizard is doing--I know what kind of time commitment it is. If by "alternate" you mean proofread, I've been planning to work through the XML later assuming the devs want and could make use of such proofreading.
GalacticEventsText.xml
HelpfulDustEvent_Dec
'A cloud of dust has emerged out of deep space, seemingly around every planet at once. Consisting of semi-sentient nanobots, visitors from a distant galaxy, they immediately begin assisting with any and all orbital construction projects underway, helping all races equally, regardless of their motivations. (-20% Military Spending)Global Effect: Starport[Shipyard] is less efficient. (-20% Military Spending), all races."
{The text describes that they assist, but you get a penalty.}
IdeologicalGalacticEventsText.xml
RuthlessVisionEvent_Benevolent_Bonus_Name
"Study the artifact as much as we can safely, and lock it away in the deepest valt[vault] in the empire."
RuthlessVisionEvent_Merciless_Bonus_Name
"Forcibly Volunteer[volunteer] the least popular a crew member from each ship to undergo the transformation, giving them a chance to make something valuable of themselves."
PublicEducationEvent_Merciless_Bonus_Name
"No. Tell them we need that money for literally anything other than that. In fact, tell them that they now have to work harder for daring [to] suggest it."
EavesdroppingEvent_Benevolent_Bonus_Name
"This is outrageous. Diplomacy cannot be effective when both parties act on such bad faith. Turn this figure into[over to] the Council."
ImprovementText.xml
"Provides the basic needs of a colony[.]"
XenoFactory_ShortDec; MegaFactory_ShortDec; ManufacturingCenter_ShortDec; IndustrialSector_ShortDec
"Increases a colony's Manufacturing[.]"
SolarPowerPlant_Dec
"Provides a dedicated power source, boosting production of neighboring factors[factories], and the entire colony."
QuantumPowerPlant_Dec
"Boying[By] toying with the edge of reality, Quantum Power Plants provide an incredibly powerful power source that boosts manufacturing in our factories."
SingularityPowerPlant_ShortDec
"Give[Gives] a Production bonus to all planets in your civilization."
ResearchCloisters_ShortDec; ResearchCloisters_Dec; QuantumResearchFoundation_ShortDec; QuantumResearchFoundation_Dec; AscensionGate_ShortDec; AscensionGate_Dec
"Not in Beta 1"{These need descriptions.}
XenoMedicalCenter_Dec
"Advances in our understanding of the hazards and diseases posed by alien planet's[planets] has resulted in a new generation of medical facility, better capable of meeting those challenges. These help a colony's population growth rate even more."
HyperionLogisticsSystem_ShortDec
"Reduses[Reduces] the logistics cost of ships built on this planet."
MilitaryAcadamyTech_Dec
"A dedicated military academy will train professional soldiers who will be far more capable than a basic militia of[for] defending this world in the event of invasion."
CustomsOffice_Dec
"By taking a firmer stance with traders, and ensuring all tarrifs[tariffs] and fees are paid on the goods passing through this planet, we can greatly increase our trade income."
VirtualWorld_Dec
"Anyone who disagrees with the way we're running things can now escape to a virtual world where they're the incompetant[incompetent] tyrant. People throughout our civilization will be happier just knowing this is an option."
PortofCall_Dec
"Establishing a port of call[Port of Call] will encourage anyone visiting here to take home great memories and leave behind money."
TouristHaven_Dec
"By creating a special part of our colony that accomodates[accommodates] off-world visitor's specialized needs, we'll ensure that they stay around for longer, and tell happier stories to their friends when they get home."
RestaurantEternity_Dec
"A Restautant[Restaurant] of Eternity will attract visitors from across the galaxy, and improve our people's reputation for hospitality so much that it will boost tourism across our entire civilization."
SlaveMill_ShortDec; SlaveFactory_ShortDec
"Makes Labor and Reseach[Research] more efficient."
ProteinResequencer_ShortDec
"Makes farms more efficient and profides[provides] more food."
BlackMarket_ShortDec; PrecursorSouvenirs_ShortDec
"Increase[Increases] A[a] worlds[world's] gross Income[.]"
FightingPit_ShortDec; FightingPit_Dec; Arena_ShortDec; Arena_Dec; Slaughtertorium_ShortDec; Slaughtertorium_Dec; HuntingGrounds_ShortDec; HuntingGrounds_Dec; HealingPools_ShortDec; HealingPools_Dec; MeditationCenter_ShortDec; MeditationCenter_Dec; CommunionShrine_ShortDec; CommunionShrine_Dec; DrathianTemple_ShortDec; DrathianTemple_Dec
"Increses[Increases] a worlds[world's] approval[Approval]."
SocialMatrix_ShortDec; SocialMatrix_Dec; DarkEnergyLab_ShortDec; DarkEnergyLab_Dec
"Increases the Manufacturing and Research of a world[.]"
ShrineofTandis_ShortDec
"Increases the approval and Influence of all the your worlds."
ShrineofTandis_Dec
"Increses[Increases] the approval and income[Influence] of all the your worlds."
IridiumTechDefsText
IridiumIndustrialMastery2_Dec
"Even at this advanced stage in our expansion plans, there's still room for improving our growth rate. Progress waits for no-one, and if [we] can improve the speed with which we build social and economic structures, all of our business shall benefit."
IridiumStellarFieldProjection_Dec
"Stellar Field Projectors will allow our best ships to boost the speed of every other travelling[traveling] in their fleet. This incredible technology will give our fleet managers an enormous degree of flexibility when making up fleets."
IridiumTradeOptimization2_Dec
"By establishing a modest tariff on trade items coming to our planets we have been able to increase our cut of trade route profits. It dose not seam to make our trading praters[partners] very happy however."
IridiumResearchOptimization_Dec
"We always have to keep a firm hand on R & D, to ensure that our brlliant[brilliant] but absent-minded researchers not only stay on track and meet their research goals, but keep costs down while they're doing so."
IridiumMilitarySpecialization_Dec
"The number of suppliers rushing to get lucrative security supply contracts is impressive, and our procurment[procurement] managers now have a great deal of leverage when convincing them to improve upon their bids[.]"
IridiumCounterMeasureFocus_Dec
"We ensured that upgrade protocols were included in our ECM suite contract, as we do with all new technologies. And our vendor has already hinted at a number of promising possibilites[possibilites] the next round of updates might hold."
IridiumApprovalFocus_Dec
"Market research has identified a number of audiences within our business that might be more receptive to certain types of enterainment[entertainment] products."
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