Whew.
A couple articles ago I mentioned being pooped, tired, tuckered out.
http://lifehappens.joeuser.com/article/411794/Ejection_Fraction
It is soooo much worse now.
Turns out there is a medical reason for it (as opposed to a vacation and running around too much reason).
With only 3 breast cancer treatments left, I had to stop. My heart is down around 49% and has enlarged in an attempt to compensate.
Heart Failure.
I have to see a cardiologist.
I have to hope I don't have a heart attack.
My chest hurts.
All the time.
Feels like someone punched me in the sternum.
Hard.
I never really thought about it until now but, when your heart isn't working...nothing else does either.
Memory, eyes, muscles, balance, even emotions (zombie anyone?)...all of it fluctuates.
My poor family...I get really grouchy when I'm tired.
On another note...have you ever seen the brunette Michael Bolton? Like I told my teenager (when discussing porn on the net), some things can NEVER be unseen.
I know. Right?
Just saw this...damn. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Good thoughts and hopes.
I don't what to say, other than to try to offer you words of encouragement. If anyone can get through this, it will definitely be you. You are so strong...
Hopefully you get to see the cardiologist soon, and the condition can be treated and reversed.
Sending warm thoughts, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Quoting Bunnahabhain, reply 3I don't what to say, other than to try to offer you words of encouragement. If anyone can get through this, it will definitely be you. You are so strong...Hopefully you get to see the cardiologist soon, and the condition can be treated and reversed.Sending warm thoughts, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Thank you Bunnah. I appreciate it.
Quoting Big Fat Daddy, reply 2Just saw this...damn. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Good thoughts and hopes.
Yeah, NO ONE gets away unscathed. No. One.
i've always thought of you having a lotta heart. for whatever it's worth, you're in my heart now too.
should count for something.
I echo BFD's comments. God go with you and bless you and your family.
And direction to a capable and savy cardiologist would be appreciated too.
It counts KB. Thank you.
Love ya, lady.
Call me.
757-893-9130
What's one more hurdle for a hurdler like you, right? Know you have fans cheering you on, even if from afar.
God bless you. Get through this.
Dear Tova,
Oh such sad news....an added weight to the heavy cross you were already bearing.
But you know what? You're not alone during this battle for Almighty God knows what He's doing with you. He's there in every cell of your body if you want Him to be. So trust Him and give Him your every fear, thought, pain and suffering. Offer it all up to Jesus.
Place yourself securely in God's hands and you will find peace through all the days ahead.
With love to you and your family and prayers for all,
Lula
Thanks D I'm trying. My heart is being disobedient tho. So stubborn. I actually have had people in my life blame EXERCISE for my heart problems!! How crazy is that? (Of course it is obvious they are attempting to justify their own inactivity....if I die of a heart attack and they blame exercise, then SEE, exercise kills.) Shesh. Exercise is the only thing that kept my heart strong enough to work at less than half capacity....chemo damaged it..NOT working out.
I just stand, gape mouthed when someone says that to me.
And on another note. WOW. It takes forever to get in to see a cardiologist around here!!
Thanks Lula. I appreciate the kind words. I believe, have always believed, even before articulation, I have a set number of days (as does everyone).
I have every confidence I will stick around as long as I'm meant too...
LW, I'll try tomorrow during the day...I'll be home for a few hours....
We have really good ways of helping that, Tova. Is Cleveland Clinic an option for you?
I don't know D. I imagine I can get a second opinion there. After I get my first opinion here! I'd really like to build my heart back up with out drugs...I'm so over drugs....lol.
I talked to a Naturo-path M.D. in the interim, who told me to take 2000-3000 liquid L-Carnitine a day, and 200-400 of CoQ10. He said I shoulda been on that the whole time.....and I do feel much better now that I'm on it. (But who knows if its really helping.)
I think they may have been giving me one of the treatments too fast...found literature that suggests slowing it down to 90 minutes may reduce toxicity to the heart.
I get mine in 28 minutes flat....lol.
I think the Onc nurses just want me out and gone so they do it as fast as possible.
Interesting.
Oh Tonya. It is so upsetting to me that someone who has taken such great care of body (not to mention someone who is just a damn good person in general) should have such catastrophic health problems.
How are you doing emotionally?
I hope that's not true. Too callous for words if it is.
Depends on the drug, but cardiac toxicity of this kind is usually correlated with total (cumulative) dose rather than rapidity of administration. Not that that helps.
Prayers and love Tova , Trudy
Hey Trudy!! Good to see you. Thanks.
One of the staff told me I can't make decisions for myself, I have to follow protocol, or THEY get in "trouble." That flew all over me. It was an unpleasant conversation early in my treatment, and now they move me through as quick as possible lest I object to something else.
Probably the worst part of chemo was having it shot into my veins by people who obviously can't stand me; couldn't care less if I died tomorrow, and unable to mask it behind professionalism.
Some medical professionals consider self-education akin to a personal attack. And challenging the rules a sign of self-centeredness.
I'm fine Tex. Thanks for asking. I think chemo is the gift that keeps on giving....if it is within my power to fix it, I will. If not, so be it.
That really, really sucks. On top of the wig-bitch. You deserved neither. I'm embarrassed it went down that way.
Lol...wig bitch .... that made my day!
MamaCharlie has run into that attitude so many times, the nurses either get snooty or they ask if she is " in the profession"...because no mortal could possibly study the ramifications of their own health issues. Keep fightin' Tova. It reminds me of that line in the old submarine movie when the old chief told the nun that sometimes all you can do is "spit teeth and cuss" ...the nun said she would spit teeth. Remember, sweetie, everybody has a boss...don't let 'em get away with nothin.
I agree w/BFD T, don't let them get away w/nothin! That nurse (I respect the profession) but she has some damn nerve making you feel worse than you already do, when her goal should be to comfort you! Hope you're feeling better today...I'll mosy on over to FB to check up on you.
Thanks BFD and FS....I'm super busy with Christmas and running to heart appointments...lol...find out tomorrow the plan of action...if there is one! Love ya guys
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