SURVIVAL TEST
http://www.amctv.com/shows/the-walking-dead/survival-test
What are your plans to survive the looming Zombie Apocolypse? Please help!
ROFL
The guy in ZomieLand lists a few good ones.
Tip 1: Dont get fat. Fat guys can't out run zombies.
Tip 2: Get allies. Other uninfected people can be very useful as in tip 3
Tip 3: The Sacrificial Lamb. The most useless of the group is tripped up while the group is being chased by a horde.
Tip 4: Be nice and useful to the group or find yourself being the Sacrificial Lamb. BTW, ditch the suit ASAP as anyone in a suit will be sacrificed as automatically being found as useless.
Tip 5: Search houses with pick-up trucks in the driveway. You will find arms and other useful tools. Search a house with a Preass in the driveway if you want a fancy coffee. Always send in the most useless of the group to check for zombies or booby traps.
Tip 6: Hockey equipment makes good street armour and padding against bites and scratches. It is also readily available.
Tip 7: A stray dog will quickly become more loyal than any human. Always sacrifice a human before the dog.
Lolz on Tip 5
Assumption has been made that you do not want to be a zombie and must avoid it at all costs. But why?Life as a zombie offers several advantages to your prior existence: 1. Sentience has a price. Zombies are free of considerations such as fear of death, need to know "what's out there", paying tax, spare for retirement plan, obligatory schooling, etc. 2. Zombies are not expected to form a plan or decide what to do with their life. As a zombie, achievement of your goals is virtually assured. 3. Zombies cannot be embarrassed, jilted, feel pressure to conform, or suffer from poor self-esteem. As a zombie, you will not be in any way ashamed or guilty about doing whatever you want, whenever you want. Of course, what you want will be to shamble after people and eat their brains. If you are a ugly geek with glass, being a zombies can be your only opportunity to take reveange on these highschool football star who have always insult you... who know, if you are fast enough, you will be able to take a bite at your dreamgirl who have always ignore you !!!
4. If you choose to become a zombie, you can avoid all the hard work described up. In trying to remain unturned, apparently you will need to build a fortress, raise a crop of vegetables, repeatedly load and fire your shotgun, etc., etc. It seems extremely unlikely that you can do all of this without great physical exertion, not to mention a few blisters. 5. Zombies don't get blisters.In short, perhaps you may decide that the life of a zombie-fighter is for you; but for most people, it simply isn't the right choice. This is probably why, in any given zombie population, no people choose to become anti-zombie insurgents. Every zombies seem happy of their new status and don't revolt...
Simply remember our great zombies leader who have use the slogan "Change we can believe in" ( "change" is about becoming zombie ) and the chant "Yes We Can" ( and only once turned, "we can" make everything we want )...
It's a good thought Thoumsin but I loves to blast zombies. I would probably be the one to release the plague on humanity just for such a chance.
As for the taxes. The first guy to come knockin' for taxes will be declared a zombie and promptly blasted in the face. Or tie them to a pole in the middle of town. If the zombies leave them alone then they are a zombie, if the zombies tear them apart I will LMFAOROTFL.
LMAOUMSFOAIDMT
Which zombie movies are best?
BTW my tip would be move away from population centres and try to avoid other humans as well! Learn some farming skills!
ZombieLand and the original Night of the Living Dead (1968) on youtube. No copywrite left
Zombie-ism does seem to provide the ultimate form of state security.
However, I do tend to find myself wanting to be the the zombie-survivor and only a zombie-fighter out of necessity.
I assume also that the vast majority will join the zombies whether from their own free will or not leaving countless ways to survive in the new zombie infested society.
As a survivor in my own area one plan is to form my new post-infestation society around the local Cabela's (assuming it's not ransacked).
Our local Cabela's is centrally located with several key post-infection assets making our new micro-society functional.
The nearby Great Wolf lodge for housing. Nebraska Furniture Mart for indoor activities and games as well as overflow housing. Nascar track converted to secured garden area. Nearby mall, and convenience stores such as Walmart or Target for short term needs.
1 Canadian winter should make it easy to burn zombies like cord wood. Cant see them making a fire. I will bet the fire of burning zombies smells like McDonalds french fries.
Surviving the zombie apocalypse would entail sitting on my ass shooting the random stray(not so zombie included unless I've gotten soft) that wanders onto the property. Nothing else to it this far from a major population center.
Farmers and ranchers will be the 1st to be infected as I am sure it will come from some corp like Monsanto.
What always gets me is why would anyone leave the mall they just fortified!
Hopefully a mall with a grocery store that has a generator backup and send out the n00bs to siphon gas.
And they have Santas chair stored somewhere for my makeshift throne.
I have two years worth of supplies and access to fresh water. I don't really care what you do as long as you do it far away from me.
Tracing your IP and logging your address
Last guy that tried that ended up floating down my fresh water source...
old friend of mine from high school actually has been preparing for this for a long time he has countless bottles of water and canned goods, generators, and shotgun+ammo, hunting rifle, etc. pretty sure I saw a suit of chainmail somewhere down there too.
I request this be played when we meet..
star_trek_fight_music.mp3 Muhahaahhaha
EDIT: Only after the apocalypse. If we meet before we can share a pint of ale.
Chainmail is remarkably awesome as a passive defense. Somebody stab you in the gut while [you're] wearing chainmail?
The tip of their knife (likely a small switchblade for reasons of concealment) breaks off, and they freak out (you are wearing the chainmail under some article of clothing, right?), and run off.
@General Threadness:
............
Do you guys really think that there's going to be a Zombie Apocalypse? I mean really, the idea is pretty silly.
What scares me more is more people aren't taking this seriously. One outbreak people! Just one...!!!
http://www.thecoolist.com/zombie-proof-10-high-style-designs-for-zombie-free-living/
I guess Whisky's not ready.
I call his stuff.
Really, the sheer probability that a zombie-like 'outbreak' occurs is mind-bogglingly nonexistent. Furthermore, the fact that, you know, the CDC is actually, well, competent, and that an oncoming zombie horde is cannon fodder for the simplest of military tactics- namely "sit in a hole/at a barricade, with a machine gun, and lots of ammunition, then shoot till nothing moves".
Neat stuff is neat.
Pssh. I worry more about werewolf wannabes and those prissy sparklepires. If anything, those are a real threat to civilization.
Most of it will be quite unusable for a so-called zombie apocalypse.
That sounds nice. Like I always say, "The difference between a lifelong friend and a mortal enemy is just one bite."
@Wiskey144,
It is unlikely, but I have a contingency plan for most every apocalypse. The zombie preparedness is key as its preparation is the mean of every other possible apocalypse. A perfect middleground between the supernatural and the massive American incompetence. America is not militarily ready to defend its borders against invasion. Our best chance would be containment, but at the rate at which we travel, the virus could spread across the globe given a long enough incubation period. I am personally hoping for the proliferation of zombies and would in truth help spread it in the short term.
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