I for one have always enjoyed the sardonic wisdom of Murphy's Laws. There appear to loads of them, corollaries and extensions too!
The rules? 1. No big 'G''ing answers, please.
2. No "Overkill" just one or two per post...gotta leave some for others, right?
3. Have fun!
To get it started: 1. Whatever can go wrong, will.
2. What ever can go wrong will, at the most inopportune time and you will be blamed.
Let the games begin!
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrong, and you'll be blamed.
The one time you're late, the Boss will be sitting in your office waiting for you.
And the one time you're tempted to pinch yer missus on the butt, you sneak up behind, do the deed and discover you've mistaken somebody else for her.
Could be a good thing unless she's standing behind you.
Get drunk (I don't by the way) at a strip club and you will go home and talk in your sleep.
And get berated severely in the morning for the lap dance and getting up on stage... and shot for leaving behind the expensive suit your wife bought for your birthday.
Yup, if it was raining hookers, I'd get washed down the gutter with a lesbian.
Or like the time it was raining money and I got washed down the gutter with a rubber cheque.
Talk is cheap except when something needs repair.
And when something needs repair, you happen to find the only tradesman in town who charges $130.00 an hour... and he spends 6 of the 6 1/2 hours he charges to repair it talking to his lady on the phone about the job that's keeping him from being at home with her.
As soon as you finish your shower the water gets hotter.
Or in my case, there's no towel.
If a great deal of time has been expended seeking the answer to a problem with the only result being failure, the answer will be immediately obvious to the first unqualified person
Murphy's Law Of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure
Great stuff guys!
Availability is a function of time: The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
This is true for jobs and women.
Everything put together sooner or later falls apart (also known as Simon's Law after Paul Simon who recorded a song containing this sentiment)
Wolf's Law (An Optimistic View Of A Pessimistic World): It isn't that things will necessarily go wrong (Murphy's Law), but rather that they will take so much more time and effort than you think, if they are not to.
When given a choice, take both!
When you go to the concessions stand during the game you will miss:
As soon as I get this laptop full of all mt satrdock stuff, it will bite the dust.
Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when everyone is.
O'Toole's Law: Murphy was an optimist
Sod's Law: The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success
Uncrating instructions are invariably in the crate.
Assembly instructions aren't, and if present are in a language no one understands.
Zubaz's Law:
Whatever the intent, when set down in type it bceoems unintlelgible.
The most urgently needed tool will always be in the OTHER toolbox.
What a remarkable image. Where does the Cap'n get this ability, one wonders. Then one takes a Percodan.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
Yup, I even amaze myself sometimes... got a feeling it has something to do with being over-protected as a child and having all my Hustler magazines confiscated cos my parents didn't believe me when I said that I was reading the articles.
Murphy's law would be when Starkers goes to open his Hustler magazine that the pages seem not to want to all open.
Ewwwwwwwww! Sick Ed!
Murphy was a grunt.
Actually, none of them open... anymore!!! The missus ran a trail of super glue around the edges... then used a packet of staples on each mag to be sure, to be sure. Then for good measure, she super glued the next mag to the one before it. Now what I have is a very effective - 6 foot high but not so portable - doorstop.
Hmmm! Now you mention it, I wonder if all his Hustler pages opened.
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