I love ya, Kitty. You are an excellent skinner and a wonderful person. Keep your chin up!

Xiandi sends huggles to Kitty

Don't know you Panndora but I know what you're going through! Out of all the universe, YOU are God's prize creation! You were designed for ETERNITY (in God's image). God wants YOU with HIM in heaven. The Devil blew it and has already lost - Hell was designed for him and he wants to take you (and as many of us as he can) with him. See, this life is a battle for your soul and it ain't no joke! It can get real rough!



Sorry, I know your just trying to help, but this doesn't fit in with what the Bible says. Doesn't sound very comforting either! "My life sucks! Wow, God must really love me"! None of us DESERVE God's love or attention - "for all have fallen short of the glory of God" - He gives His love and attention freely. Also, God doesn't neglect anyone. He is just not going to force himself into our lives! He wants to be ASKED in!

Bottom line, Panndora: "Resist the devil and he will flee from you". That's God's word - it's for real! Tell him to take his depression and fear and abandonment and GET OUT in the name of Jesus Christ! Ge mad! My advice to you is get any negative, nasty, dark stuff out of your life! You need some good old JOY! I used to listen to nasty music all the time, had nasty habits, nasty language... that stuff eats away at your soul. Over the years God has salvaged my life and brought me JOY UNSPEAKABLE!

Just know you have God on your side, waiting to be asked into your heart! You obviously have lots of friends and admirers here that care about you! That should cheer you up! If this journey of life isn't taking you in the right direction, maybe it's time for a detour through the Word of God! Hey that's not bad... just thought that up myself!

God loves you!

As you can tell from the others stories you are not alone with your battle, I also struggle with depression, I had thought of ending it several times, but each time I sought help, just like you are doing (not the exact same way, I choose shrinks ). PM me so we can talk I don't do IM but I can if that would be better, some of the things I'd like to talk to you about I don't want to post for all to see, being a retired counselor privicy is most important. Please try   


Kitty sounds much nicer than your new name so if you don't mind I'd like to refer to you by Kitty (only because I don't know your real first name). You are a very gifted artist with so, so much to live for: your daughter needs you, as I'm sure your friends and family do also. One of the things I had to do was tell my demons to go to hell w/o me   ,that I would no longer go down that road. I believe in a heavan and hell, and when I die I just might wind up in hell but not while in my physcial state.   
I could loan you my cat for a few days, trust me she will get you to completely forget your depression   , it can be a painful   but not as painful as being bummed out. 

Please pm me so we can talk    

Kitty, keep in mind that misery loves company. Look for the end of the tunnel in what people say, don't let yourself get blanketed by the comfort of everyones misery.

Yep!! So where the hell is everybody... I buy bags and bags of pretzels for everyone to cry in at my misery party, and nobody turns up!!

Oh well, I'll drown my own sorrows with a cup of Tetleys... anyone know if pretzels dunk orright?

It's not the pretzels....   

Here's a piece of genuine advice from someone who has been there, and has been there recently. I've spent most of my life with ups and downs, there are times I've been happy for months, and times that I've been sad for months. It's like a dark cloud some times, but I'm working through it... and here's what's working for me.

about a month ago I got screwed up drunk (this wasn't the answer.. lol). and when I woke up feeling hungover I started thinking about my life, and my demons (alcohol being one of them) and I started to form a plan. Step one was to get off the alcohol, step two was to think things out, and step three was to find something to do that seemed almost impossible, but easily plausible if I just worked at it. My big task came to me that morning like a bolt of lightning.

I noticed a track and field magazine with upcoming events in it, I can't run at all, so that was no help. I looked through it, pondering what I could do, and then I found something for me. I've always been a fairly above average swimmer, I was even captain of the swim team in high school, but I've done nothing to enhance my abilities since then. But when I saw this Aquathlon even it was like it called to me. I spent the whole month training for it, knowing that I could easily fail if I didn't push myself. I set goals for everyday, and every week. I barely made them, but with every one I made my confidence level grew. And the workouts gave me time to think. While I was swimming I was working out the issues in my head, and dealing with them. All the while using the focus given by my demons as a fuel source. My demons may not be gone, but I've used them to my advantage in this case. My event came and went, and I feel like I'm more than I was before that night that I got stupidly drunk.

I still feel the pull of depression well into this month, and even last month while I was training I felt it, but I won't fall into the pit again as long as I keep setting goals for myself, making one of them to do whatever it takes to be happy...

so the real trick is to prove to yourself that you are better than your sadness, and to keep yourself busy in a way that helps you work through your demons, and maybe even use them to your advantage. I know you are a strong person, and i can tell you can do this. You need to set a goal, and stick to you choice. I'm not saying it needs to be anything athletic, or anything specific, but do something you would otherwise do. Change your destiny by understanding your emotions, and change them by doing something "metaphorically big." is there anything you've ever enjoyed in life, that you may want to try to do again? or something just out of reach that you know if you only try you can do? From my standpoint I say do it. and then do something else... my next swim is in Sept. and I won't let my depression stop me from doing it.

Kitty

I come across those issues many times in the work I do, which whilst business related, is driven by how individuals approach life and how they deal with those issues. Here are three great videos on this, link below, watch in the order shown - only a few minutes each.

Go to : "Think about it" Videos

First got to "Nature of Success" at the bottom of the page.
Second go to "Power of Attitude" in the middle of the page.
Last go to: "Welcome the Rain" at the top of the page.

One contains my favourite quote:
"Its not the things you get, but the hearts you touch, that will determine your success in life"

Worth watching each one a few times, the more you do, the more it will make sense. If nothing else the music is catchy, and there are some stunning photos in there - enough to brighten anyones day!

Regards
Zy

very cool Zubaz...   

being able to find/recover things that you misplace or accidently leave behind

finding lucky pennies, or lost money

making wishes on the first evening star

remembering good dreams

playing with warm, melted candle wax between the fingers

watching a person sleep

rewatching the videos that you created from a video camera

listening to drunk voicemail messages

LAST BY NOT LEAST; music….....no explanation needed for music!!!

Big hugs, friends (even new ones)in cyber-space that have been there at one time or another!!

  

Panny, Ever since I first heard your sweet voice on the Skincast, I knew you were a special person. Just thinking of you brightens my day! I have enjoyed each and every one of the PMs and emails from you. All the huggles in the world can't replace your presence in my world. You have given a lot to the skinning community because you have a special kind of heart, the kind that fills the air with the warmth of the sun with just the sound of your voice! So, when you feel a little down, just remember.... You are my sunshine! Luvs and huggles....xxx.

Kitty, I know you are a beautiful warm loving person. You have been blessed with a talent that knows no bounds.(On many levels) You have been given the gift of being a mother to a beautiful child who loves you dearly. Think of her bright shining face when she smiles at you. Try to hold that picture in your mind...you can't help but smile and feel warm fuzzies all over. Remember you are loved!!! Hugs and Kisses just for you.

---

Now that made me feel good!!!

Well Kitty...all I can say is you gotta do what you feel is best for you. I'd hate to see you not create skins anymore because we need to have skins that are out of the norm. And seriously...don't let anyone's inflated ego get to you or this unknown person. Nobody here is special...unless of course they ride the special bus and lick the windows. This site is for anyone that wants to create...and you've created some nice stuff...regardless of what anyone else says...and I think a lot of people would like to see you continue doing that.

We still would like it if you visit us on IRC Kitty. Very little bitch fighting there.