I think I found my new calling. I'm going to make video games:

Attention everyone: I am proud to announce Celestial Guardians of Montaku.

It's a real time strategy game where you can play with your friends and save the land of montaku by battling in multiplayer arena's. It's on sale.... give me money now....... oh so you bought it? I guess it's time for me to fill you in on something. In case you haven't noticed we've received reports that your game might crash and there might be instability - over here at my company we have not experienced such issues, it must be your computer or your ISP. Oh? you have a top of the line core i7 dual gtx 295's in SLI and verizon fios the fastest residential internet on the planet and you can play crysis multiplayer maxed out? Well, my game runs fine, sorry to hear about your problems.

What's that? You're saying you wanted match making so you can find people to play with who are at an appropriate skill level as you? Well we don't quite have that, but you can find your own games and find your own players and host it yourself. Whats this I hear? You bought the game so you could play it with your real life friends but the community frowns upon such a thing even though ITS ONE OF THE MAJOR SELLING POINTS YOU READ ON THE DESCRIPTION OF OUR GAME FROM OUR WEBSITE? Well, we advertised it as such, and it wouldn't be a problem if we had an arranged team ladder, but instead we gave you the freedom to control your own games, isn't that neat!

There aren't enough people playing the game and no one wants to play you because you played more than 100 games? Hmmmmm, here.... have a $20 off coupon. Use it to trick someone you hate into wasting their cash, or you can buy MORE of my useless crap product so you have a fresh account and everyone will think you're a noob and might play with you, but most likely not because no one likes a noob. Then we will take this cash and funnel it into our next cluster fuck *cough* I mean title that we will proudly support and sell to you as soon as it's done (and by done I mean we can put in a box, and the installer puts a bunch of files on your hard drive).

If I find out that unhappy customers are trolling my forums with complaints I have an automated posting bot - codename Zehdon - that I use to answers the trolls. I'd pay a person to do it, but that would just mean that I would have less money for the empire club.

You're aware, of course, that both Starcock and Ass Powered Games aren't exactly Fortune 500 companies? They're both independant companies, not cogs in a massive corporate entity, owned by anyone other than themselves and survive off of keeping their customers happy. If you're going to try and insult a large group of people, please do so using correct facts. You failed to mention Heywood Jablowme's Porche and made no direct reference to Joey Baggaladouchia's mansion. Not only are you a worthless human being, you're also a worthless troll.

I, for one, have never seen this error you feel the need to post about in every thread, topic and board you direct your web browser too. I'm sorry you're having an issue, I really am, but instead of moaning like the worthless little toad that you apparently are, how about you suck it up and play something else. You've already paid for Demigod, so it's not going anywhere. Between injecting yourself with Red Cordial and your ADHD medication, learn some patience. Frankly, I'm tired of reading your posts. If the issue was really as bad as you say it is then you wouldn't be posting on the forums at all, you'd have uninstalled the game and moved on to something else. Instead, for some reason, you feel the need to remind everyone that YOU'RE HAVING A PROBLEM.

This thread merely cements the fact that you're a moron and provides a clear demonstration that, somehow, your sheer stupidity always finds a way to ooze from your infant-like mind for no reason other than to be an annoying little skid mark on this community. Don't like what I've written? Don't like the game? Can't help yourself from being a whiney little bitch? Then fuck off. No jokes, no kidding, no more rants; leave.

www.celestialguardiansofmontakuthegame.clownpenis.someonereallytookdemigod.com/wtf/srsly?

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Gaming is the new wall street, home of the new ponzi scheme. Sell a game at full price with half the features cutting costs, use that money to fund a new game, find a way to implement downloadable content... repeat. The only difference between a ponzi scheme and gaming companies now adays is that with a ponzi scheme at least you can get your money back before the fraud is found, whereas in gaming once you give your money up it's gone.

Disclaimer: I'm stuck studying for exams and wished I could take a break and play a game of demigod, if I could I wouldn't have bothered writing this. Didn't like what I wrote? Too bad, at least the forums provide me with a source of entertainment. And if you really don't like it you can go suck a ........... INVALID GAMESTATE ERRORZZZZAZZAC

CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH