Need help for a fanfiction

For starters, I'd like to apologize if I'm posting in the wrong thread.

Anyway, last year I was listening to music from the game's soundtrack when I started creating scenarios in my head that corresponded to what was playing - the bombing of a world for some sad music, a desperate battle with intense music, etc. Eventually I wove them together as a playlist, and it only occurred to me that I had created the basic setup for something I felt should have been incorporated into a game:

A plot.

Thus, I began work on a SOASE fanfiction that was my attempt to take the background information of the series and novelize the events of the games. I started off strong, with a very good idea of where it was going, but I found myself writing very slowly and with significant gaps between chapters because I didn't know how to put my thoughts into words.

So, after being stuck on the 3rd or 4th chapter, I've decided to seek help from people more hardcore than I am - those who regularly debate and discuss the game and its content. Basically what I want from you, if you're willing to help, is to help me develop ideas for my fanfiction - be they major elements such as characters or the scripting of scenes, or smaller aspects such as how the Advent use Psitech in the functioning of their ships. Those who are interested can also ask to be a beta reader for my work; that would involve reading chapters before I post them and offering constructive criticism to raise it to the highest possible quality of writing.

Any and all help would be deeply appreciated.

Oh, and here's a link if you're interested: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10622774/1/The-Sins-of-a-Solar-Empire

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

- A desperate but thankful fanfiction writer

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WOEaintME

A few things:

I think you've overused commas in some spots. A good example is "Every so often, the fleeing Vasari populace, referrring to themselves now as the Exodus Fleet, would stop in a region of space..." I would say the first comma changes the intended meaning to a nonsensical meaning.
You use the word "Siphon", am I correct in assuming this is the same as Stripped to the Core? If yes, then I recommend using Strip because it's more inline with the game and provides an easy double entendre.
Timeline things (Envoys weren't introduced until Diplomacy, some 25 years after first contact with the Vasari and 15 years after engaging with the Advent (if I recall correctly). I'm not saying there weren't Envoys before Diplomacy (the Rebellion manual indicates the Neruda is an old design brought into large production), I'm just saying it's something to think about.
Page counts. It's hard to get an idea for how long your chapters are but they feel short.
How far ahead have you though? This is a bit of a prelude to below but when I began my FF I had a basic roadmap for what would happen, in what year (relative to Rebellion) and how the characters would tie in. If you haven't thought too far ahead I would recommend making a simple text document saying something like:

Year A - Vasari attack TEC
Years A through to B - Vasari overwhelm the TEC
Year B - TEC begin to even up
Year C - Advent arrive
Year D - Diplomacy
Year E - Rebellion

Obviously the above is not nearly detailed enough but you hopefully get the idea

And now for my shameless, self-promotional plug for my FF.

https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/450738/page/1

http://woeaintme.wix.com/woeaintmods#!the-legend/c111g

I've been busy doing other life related things the past six months or so but I'm starting to get settled and have been playing (which is the precursor to writing, at least for me it is) and (with my aforementioned roadmap) been putting some pieces together in my mind.

Hopefully none of the above offends, it most certainly is not intended to. I look forward to reading more.

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In order:

1. That's a good point. I'll scan through what I've already written and correct that.

2. If memory serves, I originally took that from the Vasari's page on the SOASE wiki - namely the section detailing their history. But yeah, I'd be referring to "Strip to the Core". Also, I'm not sure if 'strip' would be a better substitute - it references to the game and has a double meaning, yes, but it doesn't feel as dramatic as 'siphon'. I'll definitely consider it though.

3. I thought that'd just be a thing they had for first contact scenarios - like with the Advent. Thus, I think I'll keep that the way it is.

4. I just checked the word count of each chapter past the prologue, and the shortest is about 2,400 words. If it really is too short I'll try and write more, but the main reason I'm slow to update is that I have a difficult time trying to write lengthy works based on what I visualize in my head. Nevertheless, I will try.

5. I planned out the plot before I started writing - and subsequently found that most of it was rooted in Rebellion. If you're willing, I could send you a summary of the plot so we could brainstorm? I dunno.

6. Shameless self-promotion is shameless

7. You know what? That doesn't seem like that bad an idea. Unfortunately, I'm knee-deep in my obsession with a few other games D: But I'll try to play some SOASE, never realised that could work for inspirational material.

Overall, your feedback is very helpful. I'll try and work it into my writing process. Thanks for your time

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I don't know if this will be any help to you but here is an attempt of my fanfiction if you need any ideas or what not to do's!

https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/444913/page/2/#3428988

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