I spent a while away from the site to deal with various things, but on my return I notice the same few posters putting up various threads, and hundreds of lurkers, people who read those posts and benefit from the information provided, or get a laugh from them, but rarely or never contribute anything towards them.
So when I say it's sad, given how slow the forums can be some days, that's exactly what it is, S....A....D, SAD! It reminds me of the old commuter trains we used to have here in SE Queensland [Aus], where each carriage had around 10 rows of 2 bench seat compartments and a door either side. We used to call them cattle trains because of how people were so crowded in...and when all the bench seats were occupied another half dozen or so would cram into the small compartment and have to stand on what little floor space was left after the seated passengers had placed their feet and brief cases, etc.
Anyway, to cut a long story a bit shorter, there were these hundreds and hundreds of daily commuters, many travelling in the same compartment next the same people every day five days a week, all hidden behind the Courier Mail, which back in the day was a full sized newspaper, and none ever spoke to each other, not ever... and when those trains, of which there were dozens, and therefore the scene was repeatedly repeated, reached the city, all those people dispersed to their respective jobs, and still not speaking to each other, for any feching reason, until the journey home. The same scene was repeated on dozens and dozens of commuter trains carrying 1000's and 1000's of people, all of them with their heads stuck in the Telegraph, Brisbane's afternoon paper.
So, the purpose of this sad commuter story, which hasn't changed a great deal since the 1970's, apart from the diesel drawn cattle trains becoming electrically powered cattle trains carrying yet another generation of equally 'miserably inclined' people, is to draw its striking resemblance to the oft desolate forums here at WC, where a handful of people post and the majority has its head stuck in a feching newspaper.
Okay, maybe not a newspaper, but there is no participation from these lurkers to validate their existence here, no contributions to say: "Hey, I like this place and benefit greatly from it, so here's something in return." No, it's too much feching trouble. Well for mine, if you can take the time to read a thread/post, then you've enough time to post something... something so that regular contributors can acknowledge you, as a person and not some 'page view statistic', has truly joined the WC family and is a part of the human race.
Since my return a couple of months ago I have tried to visit more threads to contribute and participate, with a bit of information, with a bit of humour... something to say I'm a member and I've been here, but don't leave it all up to me all you lurkers, get your heads out of whatever and please join the rest of us.
That's fruit abuse.
You know, there's a special level of hell for people just like you.
Sooooo, you are a bit of a tomcat after all, mrtabby. I knew it, I just knew it!
Something in the way you move... damned song... er wrote "hot ass" attracts me like.... damned song.... just smacked of tomcatism... no other lover.... damned song keeps popping in my head.... er....
..... will be back after I've taken some meds.
You and those damned nurses! You do realise that under those uniforms they're built like Russian body builders, don't you.... and that if you do happen to get between their legs, they could crush you like a walnut?
Ah, that's it! You like the strong, domineering type of woman who can take control... a dominatrix, if you will. I tried one of those once, and it was great right up until she put me across her knee and spanked my bare bottom with a table tennis bat. Shoot [well that's it, right there in a nutshell] I'd get 'too excited' and we'd have to start all over again.
Sadly, despite my best efforts to end/control my 'prematurity', she lost patience and left me for somebody with greater control and a much, much bigger.... er... bank account. Apparently he could afford her hourly rates better than I.
Anyway, if you're considering a dominatrix kind of woman in a nurses uniform, I do have some advice for you. Firstly, keep some control for yourself within the relationship, otherwise you'll be in the kitchen most of the time cooking, cleaning and doing dishes... as I discovered was my punishment for repeatedly having to start over. And secondly, have a safe word you both agree upon... because without this safety mechanism you may find yourself cleaning and maintaining her car, not to mention continually having to replace her stockings.
Smedley, you back again? Thought you would be... being you're a pain-in-the-ass and tormenting SOB [Stubborn Old Bastige] Ornery is a word that comes to mind, but it doesn't come close to describing the PITA that you've become over the years.... and what's this attacking one of my dear friends with claims of fruit abuse? You know full well that Uvah is a 'special needs' person, and that 'shaking' is one of his 'special tendencies'. That, however, does not make him a bad person, nor does it give you the right to post things that draw special attention to his personal but quite normal peculiarities.
Furthermore, Mr Smedley, you cannot say that you have not 'shaken' particular things throughout your life, we all know you have... like the time you had that effigy of Skinhit and... well perhaps for decency reasons we won't go there, but you know what I'm talking about. You have skeletons in your closet you'd rather not be exposed, and therefore, I suggest that you cease and desist from tormenting poor Uvah, who openly admits that he is complete lunatic, and thus unable to defend himself without resorting to low blows regarding your 'skeletons'.
Oh, and another thing, Smedley, stop exploiting fruit in the way you did here. That orange you used has complained to the modeling agency that you exploited him for political purposes and vengeance. That was not discussed or even mentioned in the written contract. Therefore, if you use he or any other agency fruit in new or continuing vendettas against poor unsuspecting people, innocent or not, punitive damages will be sought.
yeah... I remember that well.... oh the memories...
no longer relevant... he managed to squeeze himself out of the contract... ..the agency was seedy.....
mind you, he could have been thicker skinned... hmmm.... that was pithy....
the apple left too.... he was cut to the core...
however, the apricot thought the place was still, peachy....
but the banana knew they were bent...
however, the pineapple just thought they were all being, prickly.....
the nectarine just didn't care... he was stoned...
however, the cherry was on top of it.... but the kiwi fruit couldn't understand the contract... ( )
...as with the pommiegranate.... ( )
and the olive just said... the whole thing gave him the pip...
one of the tropicals tried to argue with the agency... but they just said... go.. man-go.... ...but he said, I can't... I'm broke... I'm a pawpaw...
the fruit salad took out a group action against the agency... but they were creamed.. .. they were really cut up about it...
the apple admitted he was lost in the money negotiations... he always skipped maths class... could never understand why pie was squared, when it was supposed to be round...
the nuts also thought they were being ground down.... only one of them had been offered a part in a porn movie called... 'The Boys from Brazil'... ...mind you, I think he should have cashewed in on it...he was obviously broke, as he nodded when one of the others asked him... "have you gone to the wall-nut?"...
not gonna tell you what the passion-fruit said.... but the damson agreed... there was talk of a lychee mob... which could have gone pear shaped...
ended up the Boysenberry got a crush on the Honeydew and asked if she wanted to cantaloupe... at which time the Elderberry stepped in and said that that would end up raisin hell... and wouldn't help the currant situation which caused the Boysenberry to feel more like a Blueberry... and think the Elderberry was more like a Dragonfruit... and was pretty Jackfruited with the whole situation...
yep. tomcat, bdsm mistresses, ipecac.. er.. but not ipecac, that would be weird right? ipecac and nurses?! i mean an ipecac fetish would just be crazy right? i mean no one would want to avoid commenting online because ov tha promise ov ipecac and nurses, right? look i'm not saying that nausea ov one kind or another isn't warm gooey sweetness in it's own way.. a lot ov love comes out into tha world in many forms.. everyone today just kinda likes dribbling, that's all.. and glory.. and nurses.. people don't want nurses.. not with delicate creamy angelic whites and ipecac and hidden muscles that shouldn't be there like that and oooh more glory.. well some people.. you know it's just a cool scene, very modern.. you know cool people.. um i'll lurk for longer, yep.
Very good, syd, very good indeed. I got a good giggle or 3 from reading that. You should perhaps give comedic writing a go professionally... like go freelance and sell to the various magazines and papers. Who knows, it could be much fun, as well as lucrative....
... like Daryl Somers used to say... 'You'll never ever know if you never ever go'
And it'd beat the hell out of street cleaning... getting all those blisters from pushing a broom 'til all hours. I knew a girl that did it, but she only lasted two days and quit. Yeah, after work the second night she shouldn't use her vibrator, her hands were so sore... and me, being the perfect gentleman, the modern-day Sir Galahad, simply jumped at the chance to help the young [and not too shabby] damsel in distress. It was only 'afterwards' that I discovered it wasn't an inability to use the device, but that she simply couldn't open the drawer to get it out.
Oh well, misunderstandings can and will happen on a hot, steamy evening when the lights are dimmed and the is wine chill.... 'ere, just a cotton pickin' darned minute... I was used...
.... yep, used for my boyish good looks and my charmingly generous personality. Looking back on it, I'll bet there was probably no vibrator at all. Oh, the shock horror!!!!
Another job that freelance comedic writer would beat the hell out of is picking the fly shit out of pepper.... and I knew this girl whose hands were so cramped after a day's work she couldn't use her...um... but that's another story.
then my work here is done...
liked the pawpaw myself...
Yes, you are quite the tomcat... and quite a perverse one at that. Well all I can say is good onya. It takes balls and true intestinal fortitude to come out of the closet and openly admit it to the world. I've known a few tomcats in my time, but none were as courageous as you. No, they would sneak around in dark back alleys doing unspeakable things to the female inhabitants, emerging the next morning and smiling like Cheshire cats.
And there was no amount of tapping a spoon on the Whiskas tin that'd get 'em out before daylight. No, you'd hear 'em all night, screaming and howling like feral felines, and there they are next morning, turned up and ready for work like nothing's happened. If for nothing else, you've gotta admire them for their stamina and staying power. I mean, these days, if I just walk down a dark alley... and a short one at that... like a very short short one, I'm ready for a nap and just want to head home.
Bugger this being out on the tiles all night, often in the cold and wet. Nah, fech that, I just get on the phone and order takeaway.... and the guy at the other end, it's like he already knows something: "Good evening, today's special is won tuns, long soup, chicken chow mien and Peking duck or Peking pussy... very nice wiv cream of night sauce.". Nah, not for me, I'm not into experimenting with exotic foods, it often gives me heartburn, so I stick with the duck.....
As for the nurses.... here's one of the uglier ones:
But I thought you'd probably prefer something like this...
Now this nurse might suit your needs better. Apart from being a masochist and a bit of a sadist, to accommodate your darker desires, this one is the complete package... the ultimate 50 storey thrill ride all on her ownsome.
NOOOOOOO! Please don't say that.... no,no,no,no,no... we've only just begun [now that frickin' song's in my head]... we're only getting started... it's just the tip of the iceberg... and obviously you've got so much more to offer in the way of comedic relief.
I can't pay, but please stay on... I'll barrack for the Blues one out of three if you do... Puleeese
I loved all of it, tho the 'nuts' part tickled the funny bone some... hehe, "The Boys From Brazil", very clever.
And the banana, thought they were bent.... takes one to know one. Yeah, I've heard things about his clandestine operation... being a front for organised crime, money laundering, prostitution, graft, racketeering. Word has it that Mr Banana, AKA Big Banana, only joined the agency to connect with people in the porn industry [hence The Boys from Brazil suggestion] and take control of it. He also fancied himself as a bit of a porn star. Once he was overheard in the agency office, with regard to his 1st audition in a porno: "Well, they don't call me Big Banana for nothing."
Apparently Miss Cherry fainted when Mr Banana undressed, and was heard saying: "Well there is no way I'm losing mine to that!", on her way to the studio floor. Poor kid! Oh well, we won't have to worry about her now. Her BFF, Olive, suggested they got out of there an chose another career path, and Miss Passionfruit left with them, as did Miss Rhubarb and Mr Nectarine, who was too stoned to perform anyhow.
two out of three games... and you have to wave pom poms...
if you lose them... you can ask teddy for more...
Miss Cherry
Mr Banana
Miss Passionfruit
Miss Rhubarb
Mr Nectarine...
I'm starting to see a children's book here... albeit a very sick and twisted one...
Oh, and that bit about barracking for the Blues one out of three this Origin series.... I didn't mean it. Yes, I lied and tried to trick and deceive you, but only because I was so desperate for you to stay and do more funnies.
Well that's not the "only" reason! the meds made me do it... and the fact I was feeling feint because I'm hungry... and because I have this insatiable desire to be mischievous and downright sassy as the full moon nears.
I am sorry, though, I should never have suggested the impossible, as Maroon courses through my veins at Origin time, largely because I have consumed so many official Maroon sponsors beverages, copious Castlemaine XXXX shandies, and by then Blue is to me as red is to the bull.
Um, you snuck this in while I was tardy in admitting to the lie. Sorry... again.
So... given the new evidence, as in proof of my deceit, that'd be 0 from 3, but at least you got the right colour pom poms.
I could be seen using those... if I'm home alone and all the blinds are closed and the curtains are drawn. Yeah, that could work.
Oh my goodness, you're right.... but it couldn't be illustrated, though. No, cos a picture is worth a 1000 words, and with several illustrations per book, that's a heck of a lot of 'words'.... but wait a minute, though, they did walk out of the studio, after all, and maybe, just maybe, their new careers are non-violent and suitable childrens material... like working in a flower shop that ain't a mob front or something.
hard to lurk with those pics up.. i actually do like tha first one.. tha perfect template for costuming my love doll.. well not perfect, but it will work for a while.. until i have that special port attached to my computer.. nice. a special love. inevitable.
..a port in every device..
ha! see what i did there? tha prowess ov tha lurking.
Yeah, I also want a special port attached to my computer... one that takes me to a holodeck type place, like on Star Trek... and one where I can say: "Computer, give me half a dozen naughty nurses who are positively busting [pun intended] out of their uniforms and frisky."
"Oh, and computer, I'll have a couple of Tramadol and some anti-inflammatories to relieve arthritic and back pain, plus a bottle or three of those little blue 'ability' pills."
Hehe, now there's a bit of an oxymoron, dontcha think... taking one lot of pills to reduce stiffness... and the other lot to induce it.
mmm yes. medication and medical roleplay.. you deserve tha best.. i'm thinking of finally crossing tha sitophilia boundary
I'll cross just about any boundary, so long as there's plenty of food and drink the other side... served by the aforementioned nurses dressed in French Maid uniforms. However, the boundary I'd most like to cross is the one that takes me beyond the lunatic fringe and into a realm of exponential fantasy where anything I say goes... where I can get the master of foxhounds to say the hunt has begun, then go round up all the bankers of the world... and keep the bastards on the run... da-dum...daa...dum... cos the memories of an old man are the deeds of a man in his prime... and I seem to recall... seeing the writing on the wall... that to lynch a banker is not a crime.
Well... that was fun! I should test-drive crossing boundaries more often.
As for your fetish... or should I say soon to be fetish, just consider the pic below to consider all the possibilities and see if it really is for you.
I mean, just add a bit of whipped cream cheese and either chutney or olives and you have a recipe for an entertaining evening home alone.
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