Frogboy is control freak with a tiny penis.
Since this forum is plagued by trolls, megalomaniacs and annoying characters of all kinds, I'm bringing you this guide to to help you identify these posters before they get into your head.
TIER 1 trolls -these trolls are a threat to your sanity
King of Kings-
We all know KOK. He is dellusional. He will often rage and start sweareing your family till 10th generation.
Very dangerous and insane troll. He truly believes what he is writing and he could kill for it if he only know how.
Stay away, his paranoia is contageous and transmitted by close contact (see Kbroke)
He often tells the tale about his glorious victories which never took place and some interesting story about bia clan.
Sinperium-
Troll whose life ambition is to become a pop superstar
allegedly took up the alias 'worldstrider' and used it to troll countless forumites into oblivion
while many view this theory to be bunk, it must be said now that this theory has now been confirmed along with the theory that Ryat was the one who was behind the infamous "I blame Ryat thread"
Countless thousands are shocked by Sinperium's blatant disregard for decency and propriety, and by his frequent postings of unintelligible gobbledygook on a near-daily basis.
This scandalous figure relishes the attention we give him and often makes posts about himself just to be able to read something that he has written.
This troll deserves a tier higher than the ones already present.
Reviewed by KrdaxDrkrun
MayallCommunion-
This is a very dangerous witch troll who pretends to make treads concerning game balance, but whose secret intentions lie in nerfing everything that has the potential to destroy the Advent. Generally, her comments seem very reasonable, yet they are filled with lies that unwary newcomers consume in all their innocense.
Mayalls comments alone are not the most dangerous tricks this evil troll has up her sleeve though. The real nasty stuff happens where nobody but her victims can see it. In private messages, the witch troll indoctrinates carefully selected forum newcomers, and they eventually become mindless husks that support Mayall publicly, no matter what she states on the forums.
Because of her steadily growing army of husks, she seems to be an important figure here on these forums, as she gets support on most of his threads here and that makes it even harder for irregulars to see the truth behind the lies.
She also awards her husks with karma points every now and then, as a meaningful reward for their loyalty. Rival trolls like Sareth and Riddleking are also awarded karma every now and then, yet this is not uncommon behavior for a witch troll. She does respect fair competition, it would seem.
Reviewed by Teun-a-Roonius
Teun-a-Roonius- awaiting review
kbroke- awaiting review
Cilverbug- awaiting review
Admirat Hoth- awaiting review
Major Stress- awaiting review
TIER 2- They are sometimes serious, which only adds to their unpredactibility. Although not as annoying as TIER 1 trolls, they are still very potent.
RiddleKing-
This guy is a master at mixing half truths with subtle lies...he tends to go through a cycle with four stages:
Reviewed by Seleuceia
Ue_Carbon-
This guy is a true shit disturber, a "real player" if you will...
His strategy is simple...first, he'll align with the modders and troll the MP crowd...then he'll troll the modders, alienating himself from his own kind...then he'll get on TeamSpeak and tell his modder friends how great they are...somehow this master strategy results in modder vs. MP forum battles of epic proportions, and at the end of the day everyone forgets the subtle manipulations he performed...
He is also infamous for the "Bomber Rage Quit" or BRQ...simply amassing a large fleet of bombers almost guarantees a rage quit from this troll, leaving his wingmen to fend for themselves...
Sareth-
One could call Sareth tenacious and determined...or one could call him just stubborn and hard-headed...his trolling scheme usually starts with a controversial topic or suggestion from which he will adopt a ridiculous position...his "opinions" are followed by walls of psuedo-logic that easily persuade the feeble-minded...only the strong willed can see through his deceit...
This troll is so good at trolling, he'll even sometimes troll himself and actually believe what he is saying...this only makes him more convincing, more determined, and more dangerous...only the well-prepared and strong-willed should fight this dangerous foe...
Volt_Cruelerz-
With this troll comes the age-old adage that silence is deadly...
for his silence is only interrupted by occasional posts that contribute to the general paranoia which serves as a barricade to newer players.
When he does post something out of the blue, it will most often be some kind of rage-filled comment against the many changes that the Sins devs have not implemented in order to make the game better for all players. Use extreme caution when approaching him on these grounds.
He is shamelessly antisocial and will rebuff all attempts to fraternize with him with strange comments about his mods or just nothing at all...
In spite of his trollish behaviors, he has shown himself to be dedicated to his mods and to be coherent on that account, warranting him a tier two placement.
Huymac-
He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll. He's an asian fella with a little man complex, who's favorite sins pastime is to tell everyone how great he is. He is a banker who shamelessly steals from the mouths of the poor to give to his already lavish lifestyle. He is also quite proud of this fact. Aside from shouting his own praise, his other pastime is to initiate arguments online and lose them. He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll.
Reviewed by Sareth
BrazilianJoe-
This troll is most commonly known for making threads on the forum that contain the word "official", making new victims believe that Brazillian_Joe is a Stardock or Ironclad representative. Even though he may be a tier two troll, this guy is a serious thread to your health.
Besides making his own threads seem very official, this Brazillian troll also declares threads from legitimate forum users (and sometimes even threads made by other trolls too!), unoffical. Making newcomers think that Joe - pretending to be a StarClad representative - knows best and therefore they will listen to him rather than to innocent forum users, whose threads are banished into the deeper layers of the forums, where they will remain unseen for a long long time...
Luckily, numerous smarter trolls (mostly the tier 1 trolls), have pointed out to the newbies that Brazillian_Joe is a cheap troll instead of a StarClad rep, and now most forum regulars are very aware of him. Joe lies under heavy fire regularly these days, being stuck at +9 karma for weeks by now. This does not make him any less of a try-hard though, and he continues to bring more dangerous trolls and influential forum regulars down with seemingly official statements.
Remember, once the Brazillian troll starts to post replies that are filled with words that no one can even find in the regular dictionary, get the hell out of that thread! For if you stay too long, his Brazillian voodoo-magic will draw you nearer and nearer to becoming a slave of the Brazillian troll... An average Joe!
Polistes-
This troll enjoys such a low rating because we have yet to determine just what his motivations are for trolling the rest of us. He is most certainly enjoys the thrill he gets from making all of the pro gamers mad, but otherwise his presence is quite mysterious. He is coherent and intelligent, which also prevent him from getting higher up in the tiers.
Polistes is widely known for flaming the pro gamer portion of the Sins community and going off on tirades about how Single Players don't care anything for balance and they just want to have fun. When the modders respond to him, he just ignores them, and instead continues to berate the targeted pro gamer(s) until he feels that they have been sufficiently riled. Then he turns around and attempts to make you feel like you have wronged him somehow.
In order to avoid making him mad, attempt to make him feel better about himself with pictures of cats and cookies and bunnies. This will most certainly help keep his infamous 10-post barrages down to a minimum.
Also, do not mix Seleuceia and Polistes. They do not seem to get along well. Reviewed by KrdaxDrkrun.
TIER 3- SPECIAL TIER
Yarlen-
This troll has such a low placement because us Forumites have a soft spot in our hearts for him and we do not want to embrace the truth:
Yarlen is renowned for making promises void of any substance and for making vague references to incoming content for the game.
There is no denying his dedication to the forums, as it seems that he is the only developer who even reads what we write...
In spite of that, it is generally felt that he does this not out of some obligation to the community, but out of some demonic thirst for fresh ideas, which he promptly consumes, leaving vague promises in his wake.
Beware, if you see him in your threads, it is not because he is looking for fresh ideas to implement into the game, but because he is looking for newer players to drain the life force from.
Now we know why certain people have such brief stints on the forums:
Yarlen is on the hunt.
Kryo-
This denizen of the forums is well-loved by all who appreciate the fine art of being able to pass lots of things off to other people.
He is well-known for his infrequent postings making mention of the feared "Contact Stardock Support" in response to a problem...
but, not to worry, as Stardock Support is very good at fixing problems, and it usually only takes them a week or so to solve a problem that could've been solved in a few minutes...
We've always figured that it was never Kryo's fault that he didn't have the time to answer our questions, so we give him a tier three ranking.
Newcomers beware though, Kryo has a severe dislike of spam posters, which he appears to share with another denizen by the name of Jafo. So, in order to stay on his good side, do not post useless threads, or you will soon discover just why his name is Kryo.
MEGALOMANIACAL BORES-
Ryat -More celebrity than a real troll. Will do everything to be visible (wonder why didn't he published his sex tape yet)Usually he is shallow and has nothing to say but will write a lot of sensless comments just to get some karma.Ignoring him is strongly suggestedReviewed by Quar
Howdidyoudothat-
How used to be a cool guy. But time passed and How got old and entered andropause.Now he danies everything he used to do. He is dead earnest and deadly boring.With age came paranoia. In Howthe's case, it's serious, he sees little blue people everywhere like a drunk who sees white mouses.With delusions came a hipocrisy and megalomania which drove him to become a denunciator.All that fits him perfectly to MEGALOMANIACAL BORES category.
(pathetic)ACHIEVEMENT WHORES-
BOTA99PolistesYurka_SanctuaryWarpeegClassicvibe
ogoor
JUST WHORES-
SemazRalan- "yeah, I'm just a whore"
SELEUCEIA TIER-
Empty so far. No idea who should I put here.
Musta been Steampunk-Mao then.
Wow Joe, once in 1000 posts you managed to say something funny. You get a medal. Troll medal. Yeah, I just made up those. Could add them to OP.
Brazillian_Joe:
Yes yes, you had it coming Joe.
ROFL!
Added Average Joe's review.
I have no idea what to say. *Yawn* I want the collector's edition. I'm bored too.
My Boredom level:
The Unity is victorious!
Here is the video to go along with it:
Not funny, not annoying, not even useful. You failed at whatever you did.
EDIT: updated troll tree
PFFT! for being a teir 1 I STILL got no review, nor my ugly mug on the picture... Don't make me really start Trollolololoing. EDIT: 'Bout freaking time
Best way to get a review is to focus on pissing off someone, who will then want to trash you in a review. FYI, as creator of this list I can't write reviews.
Best candidates would be Ryat or Sinperium.
Bah! I flatuate in Sinperiums general direction. (BTW this topic IS funny)
Don't dare make fun of this topic you filthy troll.
edit: So far 90% of modders I know seem to be trolls. With the exception of Seleuceia. Maybe I should just add all modders to the list?
I'm not surprised..
And you probably would be right. As much crap as modders have to put up with, I am surprised the modding forum isn't all chaos, and anarchy. I don't troll intentionally, but i admit there were occasions. If anyone remembers the infamous "Major Stress Meltdown" on the SoA topic years ago lol. Now I just toss in a little sarcastic humor now, and then to spice things up
Its because we deal with life better than MP players.
If we don't like it, we change the rules.
Your mother was a Vasari, and your father smelt of space ponies!
This coming from a Pirate that came from two Advent "silent" mothers.
Life? Oh wait, you mean SoASE.
I don't recognize that movie...is that from Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants?
You have your nose so far in your pudding cup you can't even see it for what it is! I'd suggest some delicious home made cookies to cure your problem. Maybe then you would understand, just maybe ...
He is too young.
Barely got out of Einstein Videos.
I make cookie dough just so I can BURN IT TO THE GROUND IN FRONT OF INNOCENT LITTLE CHILDREN AS THEY WATCH IN HORROR...
And then I ever so kindly FORCE PUDDING DOWN THEIR THROATS UNTIL THEIR BELLIES BURST WITH PUDDING JOY
*Cues the Braveheart music*
For Cookies!!!
I OFFICIALLY nominate DirtySanchezz to be included in SoaSE's Troll Bestiary (this thread).
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