Orright, but one parting shoit.....

What the difference between Parliament House in Canberra and a rose bush?

With a rose bush the pricks are on the outside.

Tut, tut... yes, I know I'm naughty... but if I don't let off steam in a jesting manner, I'm liable to burst into song...

... and believe me, the world is NOT ready for my non-melodic, gravely voice.

I just though about something.

I can sooooo wait for you two to kiss and make up and get a room....

... it's so much more fun watching you insult and antagonise each other.

I'm not normally a fan of reality shows, in fact I hate the effing things, but I reckon a reality show based on the exchange of unpleasantries between you's two would be a huge hit.  You'd both have to star in it though... no stand-ins or mock-ups cos then I wouldn't watch it.

So...now you're just a stuck-up-snoot-face? diva? prima-donna? hoity-toity-paris-hilton-wannabe?

Or...hmm..whats that other word....I'll get back to you if I can remember it.

I'm also not a fan of DIY and cooking shows coming thick and fast from our TV screens.... ala The Block, Master Chef, etc, etc.

To me they are 1/2 hour advertisements for shit I neither want or can afford.

If I want to know about a DIY project I'll look it up on line, go to the Library or buy Better Homes and Gardens...

... and if I want a recipe... same thing.... I look it up on line, etc, etc, etc.....

I don't need to watch some vote 'em off/elimination type show that's designed purely to sell me crap

And don't get me started on those half hour info-mercials... those overly repetitive promos that...."Hello, WTF didn't I get about this pimple ridding cream the first 6 dozen times... and that's just tonight... heaven forbid I mention the 192 time you've aired the friggin' thing this year"  Then there's the Vigara info-mercials. I hate those with a passion... like the everyday bloke can afford the damned things... and there it is, being rammed down their throats every night on TV.  It's not a TV matter and it should be banned/kept in pharmacies/doctors surgeries.

The one thing I am grateful for... the removal of all those phone sex ads.  Those drove me to distraction, and I'll bet I'm not the only one who complained loud, long and frequently to the Broadcasting Commission to have them removed.  I'm no prude, but TV is not the place.... 6 to 7 times in every ad break after 11.00pm.

Shoot, another rant!  Must be the weather for it.

Don't know who that Superhero is.  Do you?  Oh and watch out fo that tree...

"Stubbs"

Me either... but his willy is poking though his costume.

So, you've got one of those foot pumps as well?  Beats the heck out of getting all out of breath.

... and they're ever so handy when you need to inflate an air mattress for an over-night visitor.

Funny you should mention that!   When Bianca and here brood were here earlier in the year, and I heard this fart-like sound when she lay down to test the queen sized air mattress we provided, she blamed it on the stopper coming out as well... yeah, right.   There is NO stopper.  It has a built-in electronic pump with an auto-shut off air valve, so no way it could have been that. 

Nope, what I heard is exactly what I heard.... and I took great pleasure in informing everyone else in the room that what the heard was exactly what they thought they'd heard.