The year is 1916 and Russia is an agrarian paradise under the benevolent rule of Tsar Nicholas II. Sound shocking dear reader?! Well read on to see the true extent of the counter-revolutionary lies to be found in the 1997 Animated Musical “Anastasia”.

 

If this sentence does not make you want to burn down Fox Animation Studios then you are a pathetic piece of human filth. First of all, this opening scene is supposed to show us the wonderful world of Imperial Russia but all it does is give us an inside view into the grotesque hedonistic rule of Nicholas II.

Who the frak does he think he is throwing a god damn party while there is a war on?

Later, while the god damn “Grand Duchess” Anastasia is being given an ornate jewellery music box encrusted with diamonds and crap, probably worth the yearly salaries of those fighting on the front, a peasant boy is scolded by some guy for daring to show his face in public saying “you belong in the kitchen!” That an animated film directed towards young children would blatantly show child labour and classism without any apparent negative connotations is outrageous. Outrageous!!

Later, Rasputin shows up and is now pretty much a warlock now. Tsar Nicholas tells him to get the hell out and Rasputin vows to curse them all or something. So he uses his magic to create green flying things to cause a revolution. This is perhaps the most offensive image in the movie. Apparently the Russian Revolution, the greatest example of Peace Loving Workers and Peasants rising up to cast off the shackles of a corrupt aristocracy was not caused by the various massacres, incompetence in WWI or the multitude of other injustices suffered by the Russian people at the hands of their government, but instead a wizard did it all or something.

The weirdest thing is that the revolution seemed to be confined to about 100 people yelling at the palace. The green demons help them out by unlocking the gates, and the revolutionaries go in and torch the place. Maybe all the massacres and stuff did lead the Russian people to revolt, but they needed the help of green imps to unlock the gate. These are the questions this movie has left me with.


Exhibit B:

As you can see, this representation of Leningrad (called St. Petersburg in the film in yet another example of its anti-truth agenda) suggests that in the time since the Soviets took power St. Petersburg has been reduced to a city of smokestacks and pollution. It’s called progress you assbutts. Show me an industrialized city of that era that does not look similar.

Those factories are producing bandages and metal pots and tractors and stuff. YOU NEED THIS STUFF, so don’t go and complain about smokestacks when your new tractor was provided thanks to the industrialization programs of the great and glorious Soviet Government. Frak you Anastasia. If it were up the people who made this movie, half of Russia would have died from famine.