One of the great misconceptions of the Internet is that people have control over how they are perceived online. This illusion is a carry over from “the real world” where people can manage the perception they give off by how they dress, how they speak, and how they present themselves.
On the Internet, without the benefit of people being able to really “know” a person, they only get fractional glimpses of you. As a result, people have to fill in the holes with their own preconceived notions.
The closest thing in the real world we get to that is in politics where savvy politicians do their best to make sure there are large holes in which their handlers can then encourage people to fill those gaps with their hopes and dreams. But on the Internet, it’s virtually impossible to have any control over how those gaps in perception are filled.
My day job is at Stardock where I’m the President and CEO. It’s a company with dozens of different projects in development at any one time. I generally don’t get involved in any particular project unless it is (a) critical to the company overall and ( needs executive intervention. Unless you’re a mom and pop shop, you can’t micro-manage any given project or you doom it to failure.
When an executive intervenes, their goal is to bring in resources from other units to solve a given problem. When things go well, it’s invisible to the general public. When things go wrong, well, that’s when one begins to lose control of their online persona.
For example, my own persona has been filled with the perception that I’m a “control freak”. Those who have worked at Stardock know this is the opposite of reality. When things are going well, I just read through reports from the PMs and give a thumbs up. The joke on Neowin.net (a site we own that few people are even aware of because it runs smoothly) I rubber stamp everything from the PM. Same for WinCustomize.com and the Enterprise group. The same is usually true on the games side of our company as well. My job is to make sure the PMs have the resources they need to execute and to provide a general design of the given product in question with the PM filling in the details (whether that be DeskScapes, Multiplicity, Object Desktop, GalCiv, Elemental, or you name it). On external projects, I’m usually more hands off unless things start to “go south”.
Usually I can intervene and solve it and the public is never aware of how close things came to blowing up. Sometimes, however, the intervention comes too late or is beyond my capability to solve. In nearly 20 years, we’ve only had two big failures – the Demigod networking and the Elemental launch. In both cases, my job was to identify the problems, work with the team to design a solution and then gather the resources to make it happen. In Demigod’s case, I brought in the Impulse team to fix it. That was something only the CEO could do since Stardock’s game publishing group obviously had no say over the Impulse dev team. In Elemental’s case, we lacked sufficient management to implement the game design and in this case, my intervention involved personally jumping into the code to see what elements of the design could get in. In the end, it was not even close to sufficient –- though if you work enough 100+ hour weeks in a row and you’d be surprised how your mind can fool you into thinking everything’s fine (it’s still good! it’s still good! it’s just a little slimy, it’s still good!).
The point being, when you are online, the more activity that surrounds you in one way or the other the more people will want to fill in the gaps of your public persona. The narrative can be positive or negative. Sometimes the narrative works in your favor beyond any reasonable justification and other teams it works just the opposite.
My advice to those who, like me, “live on the net” is this: Don’t get too invested in your online persona. You will never be able to control how people perceive you because human nature abhors a vacuum and they will fill it with their hopes, dreams, and prejudices that have nothing to do with who you really are.
You are very correct in your analysis here. On the internet, as in real life, we find that as hard as we try to tell or show or explain to folks who we are what always is received is 'who we are'.
Man, stop posting "who you really are"! It only messes with my carefully fabricated assumptions of who you are. =P
I was wondering if you are considering being a politician as a lot of words to say "My advice to those who, like me, “live on the net” is this: Don’t get too invested in your online persona. You will never be able to control how people perceive you because human nature abhors a vacuum and they will fill it with their hopes, dreams, and prejudices that have nothing to do with who you really are."
I'm told it's not the killing that gets me into trouble. It's the eating.
I'd never want to be a politician.
But we now live an era where more and more people spend their lives online. More and more of our social lives revolve around participating in communities.
For instance, one of the most depressing/heart breaking things for me this past Summer was having to stop participating on Quarter To Three because of how toxic it had become. For someone like me where being on these communities fulfills the role that going out to "real world" places, it's a big loss.
It's a trend that is becoming increasingly mainstream. Some people "live" on their favorite MMO (WoW, Second Life, etc.). Others spend immense amounts of time/energy on social networks or as part of a Wiki.
What originally got me into game development was Usenet. I wanted to make games for my "friends" (my Usenet friends on comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.strategic).
But it's also dangerous to think that we really have control over how we are perceived online. We really don't have much say over that compared to the way we control our physical personas.
I remember last year when I snarked on FB about UPS and Foxnews. It got picked up and suddenly my persona included being a right-wing, Glenn Beck loving nut. Even now, I still will see someone bring it up on Blues News or somewhere even though it was nonsense.
I'm using myself as an example out of sheer laziness in place of real research. But it applies to anyone who has carefully built up an online persona.
I fully agree with your vision of the virtual world. I am same month creative companies in the computer for more than 30 years, I manage a large number of people. I've always warned against programming which is a kind of endless games become dependent on drugs, the skinning world generates the same inconvenience. It always reason keep and have a sufficient distance from the virtual world to remain lucid in the real world. But it is still true that the skinning can also connect the world of art...
I figure in some cases it has something to do with the fact that because we can't see what others do when speaking (writing), it's hard to see the feeling behind it. Kinda like when one tells a joke and forgets to put the and then some don't get it was meant as a joke. Then they automatically assume you were serious and tag you as a jerk or something.
No matter how careful I am people will still see me as something I am not, even when I am myself online.
(darn, still can't post from main page)
It's amazing that anyone can even consider that they know someone online by just a few conversations or brief interaction with them. People tend to hide behind these persona's and can pretty much whoever they want to be. You will never truly know anyone you meet on the internet until you meet them in person...and even then it is still a crap shoot...and your more than likely going to be shocked by what you thought you knew when you meet someone in real life. Personally I think these online social sites are destroying peoples social skills.
Heh. Happens in the real world to. There is nothing to do about it but to grow thicker skin. If you attempt to pander to one crowd, you lose another. Might as well just be real. It's more fun and less painful. Editing oneself with the intent of achieving popularity cannot go well in the long run. I cut my own hair. Sometimes I cut it short. Other times I keep it long. My character doesn't change, just my fleeting hairstyle preferance. I cut it based on whim; but some pin-headed folks will judge my thought process and world view based on the length of my hair. Bah! Who cares what the pinheads think!?... even though they number the majority ;~p They amount to nothing really. They are all split up in their cliques, and their hive minds are temperamental. They only matter when you make them matter.
I think the problem is felt a bit different for folks in the public eye like Brad. There can be economic consequence to thejudgements of pinheads. But even so, if you try and pander to various crowds, you lose credibility with others. If your not consistent then you are a poser. Posing has it own consequences. I think it may be better to just stay real with it. Be you, and do things your way. Those that don't like it, can take a hike. Just don't tell them that in words ;~p
For ten years now, I've used the name WhiteElk for all my internet registrations. I thought it'd help me in keeping real to who I am outside the net. I also intended to eventually tag my business ventures to my internet persona. If anyone was interested to click a forum bio, they'd find a link to view my T-Shirt art. etc Maybe I'd even attempt a purposeful branding. Well, the time came that I grew concerned that business would be harmed by those who react poorly to my shared thoughts. I was surprised by how poorly some people react to divergent thought. But in the end I decided that it didn't matter. I think it impossible to be in good with all the people. So it doesn't matter that some people will turn a blind eye to my product. Besides, there will be others who will take a more serious interest.
ex: I had heard of Stardock due to GalCiv2 enthusiasts on a Civ forum. At that time Civ4+mods filled my gaming needs so I wasn't compelled to learn more. However, the news that Civ5 would require a persistent and invasive DRM drove me to look for another 4x TBS option. Stardocks openess sold me on Elemental. From time to time Frogboy and Draginol might post something I disagree with. But had they not been posting, I would not have learned some of things I have about Brad Wardells outlook on DRM, product support, and personal gaming motivations. In a world full of pinheads, some sales will be lost. But others will be gained. Just stay real and a profitable balance should hopefully be maintained. Cater to the chosen niche that best suits you. Don't bother pandering to the rest... it can't possible pay.
[quote who="Frogboy" reply="4" id="2806629"]Quoting Gazz_, reply 2Man, stop posting "who you really are"! It only messes with my carefully fabricated assumptions of who you are. =P I'm told it's not the killing that gets me into trouble. It's the eating. [/quote]
Most of time it isn't how many words we say to get a thought across, it's usually how we say it with the least amount of words that lasts with folks.
Every few years I try to change my screenname, just to move away from past dislikes, and the fact that if you give yourself enough time, you'll say and do things that you regret unless you're a saint.
I try to do this across the board- just because I've had people harass me from other forums in other places- some people can be malicious.
I can understand why Brad is guarded now, he got burned bad, and looking at the QTT boards, there are a few people who still seem out to get him, which is kinda ridiculous. I can see criticism and even distrust, but some of it comes off at outright hateful (and that's one of the better boards I've come across)
Well said, Brad.
Seeing how well Stardock is doing (and the travails it went through with the demise of OS2), is a strong indicator and creates a prejudicial view of who you are. Both very good from what I can see. Your statement above is an affirmation of a competent Entrepreneur.
I guess being in business all these years, I would have been shocked if you were a micro manager. They never make good people to work for and that does not seem to be one of your faults.
Get out more!
Find somthing you like doing in real life and do it more. Get a bit of balance.
You never want online to be your biggest social activity, people online can be awful horrible horrible bleh bleh urrrggghh people.
That's kind of true in the real world also. We get to decide on our words and actions, but we don't get to decide what others will think of us because of them. For instance, I might be proud of my military experience, but I know people who think being in the military means I can't think for myself and lost my individuality. No matter how much I know that neither is true, they will think what they want.
The fast-food relationships which are [is] the internet will always mis-represent and mis-interpret.
If one 'hangs out' long enough [and is neither naive nor a moron] one CAN see the real personna. The longer the interaction the clearer the understanding.
[I always thought my coming-of-age was when Wiki had me down as an arrogant fascist]....
I was almost choking after I read that Paul! It really said that? And yeah your right! After being on a site like this for a long time you tend to get to know "some" people at least...and then there's the one that comes along leaving you scratching your head.
My persona says I'm here to do two things, kick ass and chew bubblegum, And I'm all out of bubblegum. Oh, that and I don't have that filter that keeps you from saying or posting your immediate thoughts. It's not my fault, I'm crazy.
Seems incredible to me that people think they control anything. They do not. Control is a fallacy.
Over time consistency induces the feeling of 'knowing' someone. In fact, inconsistency is more the norm in a person or many people. In fact, people can manage the artificial personality they present on line if they pause before responding and synthesize consistent responses.
Eventually though, candor will manifest through spontaneity. It should be remembered that people's responses (when honest) tend to vary over time...and this is not "waffling".
Seems to me that this variation and true spontaneity is far more desirable than the 'known'.
Well said Brad. When I was actively gaming in Mechwarrior I gather I had built some sort of persona of being a Riddick type. After years of playing I had finally gotten the opportunity to meet one of my team mates, his first words were, " wow ur not like I had imagined you at all".. From my go getum charging in style of game play and being notorious for being one of the best in the game, folks had come to envision me as some sort of cross between rambo, neo from the matrix and a hells angel. Which is not me at all, but I found it to be hilarious none the less.
Yup, though I've known this since the AOL days. Only way to have some anonymity is to have different S/N, which we aren't too creative about. Oh well.
My personal favorite is how people react to what you say. Online, you can say something completely innocent and meaningless, but they get all pissed off because they add their own emotions to it and take it as you personally insulting them, and they bitch and scream at you because they feel safe behind their little screen... However if this same comment had been made face to face, the other person would have heard you say it in a manner of little to no interest and they would have just blown it off or not risked getting punched out and kept their mouth shut.
I just want to chime in and underline that studies have shown that a staggering 80% of all online communication is misunderstood.
Given how painfully limited most people's perception of the world is and how uneducated they are on a wide variety of subjects, it is only natural that they will fill whatever they perceive as a void with their own interpretations.
"Luckmann opposes abortions; Luckmann has to be a conservative; Luckmann is therefore a Republican, or Republican-like".
Bah.
Plebes.
I cannot count the number of times I've added something to an argument in support of a certain party or person, only to have that party or person chew my head off because they didn't understand what I said, and just assumed that since I was quoting them (to add to their argument, in agreeance) I was insulting them, or saying that they were wrong.
wow, been there, done that, several times.
you may not own who you are on the internet but that does not mean that another's perception is even close to accurate. me thinks, it's open to interpretation and biased by the observer's views on "whatever".
take me for example...
Man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest. (Simon & Garfunkle)
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