Long day at work, groggy and loopy, disclaimer finished.
[EDIT] -Bear Cavalry
-Add a game feature or quest that changes the box art to reflect the game.
-Players should get to use two Sovereigns if they received a double shipment of the game by mistake.
-Put in a 'Ye Olde Mechanic' unit that can alter game mechanics from within the game, then take a long holiday.
-Create a quest where you have to find a male frog and try to misinterpret his dialogue and read too much into it.
-Add in a cheat where if you type 'Old man, you seek the Spell of Mastery.', Elemental exits and launches MoM in DOSBox.
-Make it so that all Sovereigns share the same mana pool, and have to play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' to decide who gets to regenerate each turn.
-Watchtowers should manufacture watches.
-Fishing as a food resource where the fish provide food returns based on the patented 'Juicy Sweetness' rating system by Smeagol.
-Players should have the ability to Give Karma to other Sovereigns through the Diplomacy screens.
-Milk should be listed as a sub-resource to Food, and needs to be watched constantly on a per-city, per-turn basis to check if it has gone bad. The Sovereign has to be in the city to personally inspect the Milk stores.
-Elemental should be free to all those who purchased Elemental before playing v1.1 after buying expansion 1.B if they didn't purchase Elemental before playing expansion 1.A.
-Admiral Ozzel should be punished for coming out of hyperspace too close to the Hoth system.
-In campaign mode, a *Spoiler Warning* should pop-up before any reveals or story progression.
-New terrain type - 'Carpet'.
-Terrain tiles should light up when the Sovereign walks on them, just like Michael Jackson in the Billie Jean video clip. The Sovereigns should also be singing Billie Jean as they walk.
-Units positioned in front of Archers should be subject to friendly fire. There should also be a percentage chance that a fight starts up as a result.
-Units trapped between enemy influence zones should be able to spend one turn maneuvering as though they were trying to get past laser security sensors.
-In tactical combat, Attack, Damage, and Defense should be combined into a single statistic and rolled with a 2 sided dice. A roll of '1' results in auto-fail, whereas conversely, a roll of '2' results in manual-fail. This is due to the real world problem associated with a 2 sided dice.
-Add in a nuclear spell that causes other Sovereigns to get nervous. The Sovereign researching or casting the nuclear spell can cleverly and diplomatically disguise it as just an 'Update Schedule' to avoid a backlash.
-Female Sovereigns should be able to research the 'Spell of Faking' for the win.
-The Master Quest should be to cause the game to crash and report the error.
-A message from The Bishop: "I foretold of your folly. These lands rightfully belong to the Church. And I will have them!".
-All your modding tools are belong to us!
-Redefine 'Multiplayer' to include AI opponents.
-Bastion should say my name.
-Organized Teleport. Units teleport at the same speed as the Sovereign, even if the Sovereign has Hyperwarp and those units only have Ion Drive.
-A mana pool should be something a Sovereign uses to drive other people's kids to school in.
-The casting cost of spells should be measured in Flower Petals.
-New Weakness Trait - 'Unhelpful Complainer'. Resource accumulation is slowed and morale suffers as the Unhelpful Complainer whips their soldiers during combat in an effort to explain to them that they mustn't die. -50.
-For added realism and immersion, the Sovereign should spend 2 out of 3 turns sleeping.
...... Feel free to add more. I'm about to drop off where I sit.
**[Updated]**
-Speech bubbles for NPCs with Tourettes Syndrome.
-Add in NPCs who have Tourettes Syndrome.
-New Equipment Slot - 'Hair clip'.
-Currency exchange system between Kingdom and Empire factions.
-Offspring should have a 9pm curfew.
-New Spell - 'Differentiate Spell'. This spell acts as an addon to existing spells and adds a random effect in addition to the standard effect of the spell. 'Differentiate Spell' can be be used to target 'Differentiate Spell'.
-We need a quest that allows our Sovereigns to know what magic is.
-New Spell - 'Mirror Image'. 1dN illusory images of target unit are created on adjacent tiles in tactical battle. The appearance of these images varies in accordance with the different types of funhouse mirrors. There is a 67.32% chance that the images become frightened of one another and disappear.
-Special fencing needs to be erected to prevent younger offspring from drowning in the Global Mana Pool.
-The image translators should work for the construct program, so the whole game will be displayed as scrolling XML code.
-New Spell - 'Returnification'. This spell attempts to return your troops to the nearest city, but ultimately fails.
-AI opponents should have a Chess mini-game to play while they wait for the Human player to 'End Turn'.
-New Quest - 'The Quest to end all Quests'. Makes it so that there are no more quests in the game.
-The Conquest Victory option should be described on the box or in the manual as such: 'To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.'
-New Unit - 'The Mouthguard of Sauron'. He just really needed to have something cover those teeth.
-Bring back Firefly.
-New Plane - 'Arc anus'. (Too cheap?)
-New Unit - 'Stupid fat hobbit'.
-Greedo was secretly in love with Han Solo, and couldn't bring himself to hurt him.
-New City Enchantment - 'Levitating City'. The enchanted city rises 10cm off the ground. This spell incurs a once-off materials cost, as a single step needs to be placed before every outer door of every building to avoid lawsuits from people tripping over to get inside.
-New Weakness Trait - 'Gibson's Disease'. Your Sovereign develops a tendency to randomly spout racism and beat their spouses. You receive a penalty to diplomacy, fewer offspring, and the ability to know what women want. -30.
-Magic Stamps. Rather than being imbued, champions line up at the Magical Welfare office once every 7 turns to receive allocated 'Magic Stamps' from the Sovereign. The stamps will be fluorescent pink.
-To make tactical combat more interesting, have some random units begin combat within enemy ranks, but facing their own side. It should take 1dN combat turns for them to figure out their mistake, until which they will fight for the enemy.
-Sovereigns should communicate through two cups tied to a long piece of string.
-New Race - 'Vegetarian Cannibals'. They're not vegan though, so they can still eat dairy made from their women's breast milk. (Too gross?)
New spell: Snakeform: Basically as teh MTG card says, targeted creature loses all abilities and becomes a 1/1 snake til end of turn(thouh we could make it three.)
Why not sheepform? Baaaaaaa!
We need a patch that brings back Aphrodisiac, Mind Control Center, and Tir-Quan training as wonders you can build.
What makes this patch request ridiculous is that I haven't even played the game.
-More bacon overall.Bacon just make everything better!
-new character: Leelo. Activates a fifth type of shard element and a new spell school. This sovereign is not permitted to wear any armor except really thin strips of white plasticy fabric. Only allowed to wield one weapon: Multipass. Also generates an annoying heavily stereotyped "hero" with sub-par acting dialogue, who is having yet another bad day, also comes with a villain with very bad hair, both of which continually get in the way of viewing her.
-new hero: Johnny-five. Unlocked when you cast lightning bolt on any golem.Ill update this later as it needs more input...
Johnny-Five is Alive!
nono not more input, more data throughput - bandwith is alive, free the bandwith !!
I declare it Bandwith day, and i shall celebrate it with a bandwitch. All hail bandwith day.
On bandwith day, whenever a caster casts a spell, two copies of the spell will come into effect. Hills will be twice as tall, valleys will be twice as deep, ocens will be twice as blue. Just don't cast it on the frog. That will just cause a multithread error as the game tries to figure out what colour of ribbon to put in his hair.
My favourite part of Bandwidth day is that frogs have hair.
Why would you celebrate the width of bands and not the bands itself? It's far more likely that the peasantry can relate to a tangible thing and coloured bands are pretty.
Its not the width of the band, its how you use it.
-Implement a Warcraft (Blizzard) like interaction for units on the map where double clicking them repeatedly would start giving you messages like "What?" "Stop touching me!" "Dont you have a kingdom to run" "Dont force me to run you through!" Ultimately having them scream then explode, damaging buildings and leaving a smoking crater...
and my rediculous requests are actually from the elemental case and NOT in the game
1. ACTUAL dungeons that you can explore like a triplesized or larger tactical map
2. actual random generation of worlds, NOT premade maps
3.options to allow tactical battles in online games(and no I have not played online)
harpo
Why must you turn my office into a house of LIES!?!?
Take your sleezy filth to the 1.2 wishlist corner, and prostitute it there!
Otherwise, submit something a little more nonsensible. For example:
1. ACTUAL dunnies that you can explore with 10^-13 sized or fatter tactical crap.2. Actual fandom generation of nose-hair clippings, NOT synthetic or virtual reproductions. 3. Options to allow tactical smell transfer in online games(and yes I fart whilst playing online).
Potty humour, I know, but effective as an example nonethless. Now, needless to say, ....
Damn i want what this guys on, that is if i dont already have it and am on it.
also
GIGANTIC FUCKING MAPS.
if you lies,
then you lies in it,
and you obviously DO lies in it,
so you do NOT need the items you request as you already have them.
ok so thing have taken a bit of a serious tone, but let's keep the good times rolling
- A new spell where you can turn an invading enemy army into pigs which you can then mine for some food resource
- A new unit: The Flasher - A completely nude unit which invades a city and causes all the inhabitants to start getting on their high horse about modesty.
- A new improvement: solent green factory - Causes negative prestige but give mighty tasty food!
- A new monster: Raging Fanboys - after spawning this unit begins to choke your cities with crazed shouting about how much they suck and should be made better.
- new unit type: Goths - They get higher att and def therefore you have to isntall the "Black club". Goths have the ability to summon goat-demons. Goths can only wear black clothing.
- new diplomacy tech: MMORRPG - turn 50 % of all other factions into gamers that send theyr money to you.
- another new diplomacy tech: patents: As soon you research a technology and you have patenting already you can pay 500 gold to patent it which keeps your Enemys from developing said technology
hehe i like the patents. You owe me 500 gold because i was at the patent office while you were busy typing up your humour. That's why i'm writing this several hours later even though i thought of it first
Fear my Bureaucracy.
http://brevets-patents.ic.gc.ca/opic-cipo/cpd/eng/introduction.html
go ahead. look for yourself.
Now then. To business. I want Achievements enabled. They must be BIG. They must be BOLD. But more impo(r)tantly:
THEY MUST HAVE SPIFFY MEANINGLESS ICONS THAT MAKE ME WANT TO PLAY FOR HOURS ON END
-Idea for cataclysmic event: BP: an oil spill cover the sea, each nation must spend 10% of there income to clean the mess.
no no no, they have to spend mana generation per turn not gold. It requires a magical solution..... or so the experts tell me, however the experts also want to sell me these magic charms to help me smite my enemies - mind you i would never have had these enemies in the first place if the mages weren't experimenting with the harbour tech in order to make the bleeding thing useful. Apparently the experts tell me that the oceans aren't valuable at all so there was no need to worry if something went wrong, after all fish haven't been invented yet and we don't have any use for pearls yet when it comes to our magic users throwing energy around so all this black stuff in the water could have been a source of magical energy my experts tell me that could rival the power generated by our shards. Unfortuneatley the experst say....
*mind goes blank with the doubletalk*
BAH! This is not the thread for moderately intriguing ideas. That's down the street. This is the one for wildly amazing ideas such as:
- A New Road type: Grand Funk Railroad - allows caravans to move from city to city in style
- A New Monster: Metrosexua Minotaur - This is the fruitiest Man Bull ever.
- New Faction: The dread lords - The dread lords finally show up at your planet, too bad they have space ships and you have swords and bows.
- A New Spell - Step into tomorrow - Cast this spell and you are instantly transported to the end of the game where you have finally won the lottery and your sov finally just pays off all the other factions for instant victory.
-New unit: Raid bull. This unit have multiple fonction: can be use as a raid team to pillage ennemy town, use as a bonus unit to your agricultural need, can also be use in combat. Most importantly, they have a special power name "power drink" that enhance their performance for a brief time, then go to sleep. Can also use the raid bull as a trademark and make money out of it.
Yeah, outsider have some difficulties with the "ridiculous" part...
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