Long day at work, groggy and loopy, disclaimer finished.
[EDIT] -Bear Cavalry
-Add a game feature or quest that changes the box art to reflect the game.
-Players should get to use two Sovereigns if they received a double shipment of the game by mistake.
-Put in a 'Ye Olde Mechanic' unit that can alter game mechanics from within the game, then take a long holiday.
-Create a quest where you have to find a male frog and try to misinterpret his dialogue and read too much into it.
-Add in a cheat where if you type 'Old man, you seek the Spell of Mastery.', Elemental exits and launches MoM in DOSBox.
-Make it so that all Sovereigns share the same mana pool, and have to play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' to decide who gets to regenerate each turn.
-Watchtowers should manufacture watches.
-Fishing as a food resource where the fish provide food returns based on the patented 'Juicy Sweetness' rating system by Smeagol.
-Players should have the ability to Give Karma to other Sovereigns through the Diplomacy screens.
-Milk should be listed as a sub-resource to Food, and needs to be watched constantly on a per-city, per-turn basis to check if it has gone bad. The Sovereign has to be in the city to personally inspect the Milk stores.
-Elemental should be free to all those who purchased Elemental before playing v1.1 after buying expansion 1.B if they didn't purchase Elemental before playing expansion 1.A.
-Admiral Ozzel should be punished for coming out of hyperspace too close to the Hoth system.
-In campaign mode, a *Spoiler Warning* should pop-up before any reveals or story progression.
-New terrain type - 'Carpet'.
-Terrain tiles should light up when the Sovereign walks on them, just like Michael Jackson in the Billie Jean video clip. The Sovereigns should also be singing Billie Jean as they walk.
-Units positioned in front of Archers should be subject to friendly fire. There should also be a percentage chance that a fight starts up as a result.
-Units trapped between enemy influence zones should be able to spend one turn maneuvering as though they were trying to get past laser security sensors.
-In tactical combat, Attack, Damage, and Defense should be combined into a single statistic and rolled with a 2 sided dice. A roll of '1' results in auto-fail, whereas conversely, a roll of '2' results in manual-fail. This is due to the real world problem associated with a 2 sided dice.
-Add in a nuclear spell that causes other Sovereigns to get nervous. The Sovereign researching or casting the nuclear spell can cleverly and diplomatically disguise it as just an 'Update Schedule' to avoid a backlash.
-Female Sovereigns should be able to research the 'Spell of Faking' for the win.
-The Master Quest should be to cause the game to crash and report the error.
-A message from The Bishop: "I foretold of your folly. These lands rightfully belong to the Church. And I will have them!".
-All your modding tools are belong to us!
-Redefine 'Multiplayer' to include AI opponents.
-Bastion should say my name.
-Organized Teleport. Units teleport at the same speed as the Sovereign, even if the Sovereign has Hyperwarp and those units only have Ion Drive.
-A mana pool should be something a Sovereign uses to drive other people's kids to school in.
-The casting cost of spells should be measured in Flower Petals.
-New Weakness Trait - 'Unhelpful Complainer'. Resource accumulation is slowed and morale suffers as the Unhelpful Complainer whips their soldiers during combat in an effort to explain to them that they mustn't die. -50.
-For added realism and immersion, the Sovereign should spend 2 out of 3 turns sleeping.
...... Feel free to add more. I'm about to drop off where I sit.
**[Updated]**
-Speech bubbles for NPCs with Tourettes Syndrome.
-Add in NPCs who have Tourettes Syndrome.
-New Equipment Slot - 'Hair clip'.
-Currency exchange system between Kingdom and Empire factions.
-Offspring should have a 9pm curfew.
-New Spell - 'Differentiate Spell'. This spell acts as an addon to existing spells and adds a random effect in addition to the standard effect of the spell. 'Differentiate Spell' can be be used to target 'Differentiate Spell'.
-We need a quest that allows our Sovereigns to know what magic is.
-New Spell - 'Mirror Image'. 1dN illusory images of target unit are created on adjacent tiles in tactical battle. The appearance of these images varies in accordance with the different types of funhouse mirrors. There is a 67.32% chance that the images become frightened of one another and disappear.
-Special fencing needs to be erected to prevent younger offspring from drowning in the Global Mana Pool.
-The image translators should work for the construct program, so the whole game will be displayed as scrolling XML code.
-New Spell - 'Returnification'. This spell attempts to return your troops to the nearest city, but ultimately fails.
-AI opponents should have a Chess mini-game to play while they wait for the Human player to 'End Turn'.
-New Quest - 'The Quest to end all Quests'. Makes it so that there are no more quests in the game.
-The Conquest Victory option should be described on the box or in the manual as such: 'To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.'
-New Unit - 'The Mouthguard of Sauron'. He just really needed to have something cover those teeth.
-Bring back Firefly.
-New Plane - 'Arc anus'. (Too cheap?)
-New Unit - 'Stupid fat hobbit'.
-Greedo was secretly in love with Han Solo, and couldn't bring himself to hurt him.
-New City Enchantment - 'Levitating City'. The enchanted city rises 10cm off the ground. This spell incurs a once-off materials cost, as a single step needs to be placed before every outer door of every building to avoid lawsuits from people tripping over to get inside.
-New Weakness Trait - 'Gibson's Disease'. Your Sovereign develops a tendency to randomly spout racism and beat their spouses. You receive a penalty to diplomacy, fewer offspring, and the ability to know what women want. -30.
-Magic Stamps. Rather than being imbued, champions line up at the Magical Welfare office once every 7 turns to receive allocated 'Magic Stamps' from the Sovereign. The stamps will be fluorescent pink.
-To make tactical combat more interesting, have some random units begin combat within enemy ranks, but facing their own side. It should take 1dN combat turns for them to figure out their mistake, until which they will fight for the enemy.
-Sovereigns should communicate through two cups tied to a long piece of string.
-New Race - 'Vegetarian Cannibals'. They're not vegan though, so they can still eat dairy made from their women's breast milk. (Too gross?)
"The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters."
Mother of all quests, complete this and a "new" faction flies in and bombs your enemies with dragon ...
I just got this. I was referencing Conan The Barbarian.
Only if there's two new spells
-Summon Rubber Golem
-Summon Glue Golem
Both are used during insult wars. Any insult which hit's the rubber golem will bounce back and hit the glue golem of the insulter.
Also, bows must be replaced with hollowed out bic pens and wads of chewed up paper. Each spit-ball deals 3-7 ewww damage against male targets and 6-10 against female targets. Additionally spit ball launchers have a 10% chance of getting stuck in hair causing the target to panic for 1-2 rounds.
I will agree to this on one proviso. If a unit steps on the void between the circles, they awaken from the fantasy, and Morpheus headf**ks them to make them puke.
+100 A lot of nice things!
Other request: Have a wandering troop of 300 mans that randomly crush your city with this message: FOR SPARTA. Then, hear a little voice saying: heum, we're not at the rigth place. Then, the barbarian blushed and say: Oops, sorry! and leave.
Add a new trait: Redneck. This trait (faction trait) allow you to marry your daugther/son/sister/brother and have a dynasty within your dynasty.
Add a new civic victory(empire): Divide by zero: Your scientist have unlock the power of mathematic to torn the fabric of space and time, annihilating everything on your path.
-New city improvement: 'Modding Workshop'. Makes available a complete set of modding tools so that players can create and run mods from within the game. The newly created mods should also have the 'Modding Workshop' improvement, so that mods can be created from within mods.
-Sovereign Lifestyle Choice should be implemented. This can have numerous ramifications. Both male and female sovereigns will lose the ability to have a dynasty. Male sovereigns will be compensated by having a greater fashion variety for themselves and their units, whilst female sovereigns will get improved diplomacy with dynasty capable male sovereigns, for the off chance that they and their partner might be bi-curious.
-The current range of breakfast cereals in the game is inadequate, and needs immediate improvement. I mean this Brad - do NOT wait until the next major patch, you should release a hotfix NOW. Or at least discount the game for us if you won't finish the game properly by improving on the breakfast cereal feature!
-All summon spells should be cast using the following incantation: "From the land beyond beyond, from the world past hope and fear, I bid you <creatureName> now appear!"
-A message from the Earl: "My realm grows! My ancient right to rule the land will soon be restored to me."
-Canteen lunch orders via Impulse.
- when you have researched the 4 elements and the Life book to high levels you should be able to perform a special summoning. Earth! Air! Fire! Water! Life! By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!
I've taken the liberty of editing your most ridiculous suggestion sir. You'll note that I have removed the 't' from 'Planet' to bring it in line with the mythos.
If this were a different 4X game, the Captain's ability to 'take pollution down to zero' would be quite coveted. Also in high demand, would be his knack for putting 'asunder, bad guys who like to loot and plunder'. Quite useful for fending off bandits or pirates I'd wager. Jolly good.
There needs to be random worms of all shapes and sizes that appear in the wilds, one of which should be the common earthworm with 0 attack, 0 defence and 1 life.
Heroes should be able to buy glass jars in the store so they can catch these for the sovereigns kids.
Include a quest hut with a random event where a power suit falls from the sky.
This random event will modify the master spell so that a cow has to be launched into the air with a catapult while casting it.
That is truly random and out of place sir. I take my hat off to you.
New victory condition: Debugging
When this victory condition is enabled, super insectoid monsters will appear that are named after game bugs. The first will have 1000+ CR, and each one after that will have a CR of at least 1000 more than the previous one. The final bug will be called "Out of Memory", and have a CR of over 10,000. If you slay it, Frogboy will appear and thank you for your help debugging the game by give you a choice between a cool item or victory with an movie that is far more interesting than the ones for the other victory conditions. This option should only be availible after you win a game with each of the other victory conditions.
Hey Jazzz, We have caravans so I want a chariot for my sovereign to drive into battle.
And fluffy dice for the rear mirror.
Will your mirror come with he warning "Objects are closer than they appear" ? Especially effective when being chased by giant lizards, or shambling elementals.
the kingdom should have a civ tech advance that lets them build a bakers shop in a lv 2 town.
this shop will provide +2 gold and +2 food for the kingdom and cost 10 matts and 5 iron to build.
once magic weapons and armour are researched in the magic tech tree it will unlock an option to upgrade the bakery enabling you to bake gingerbread golems. These can be trained into squads of 4 8 12 "man" units.
New Civ tech that grants you a new Level 5 city with all the buildings. This isn't so ridiculous, as there is an Adventuring tech that makes a buttload of huts appear where before there was nothing. My guess is that the tech allows you to remanufacture and micro-implement the 'Big Bang' event in discrete locations, and run a time-warp function that super accelerates until a sentient race with building capabilities evolves and does all the building for you, and populates the city. This theory was formed using the KISS method.
New Unit - Marshmallow Elemental.
New Mount - Rideable gnomes.
-Falafel.
-New Trait - Asperger's Syndrome (Autism). The Sovereign is completely anti-social, but has memorized Pi to 22,000 digits. The sovereign loses diplomacy points, but gains a massive bonus to spell research, as they have the ability to read two pages of spells at once, and retain every detail. The sovereign cannot fight or cast spells whenever there is 12 minutes or less to Wapner.
New building: Sandbox. The sovereign's kids can play in the sandbox to learn the basic of the game and then be able to perform better when they grow up. Add one more trait to each children that play in.
1). new enchantment spell: Golem Sims.
This spell is an enchantment placed on a city that creates a training environment that enables all newly trained units to have more life experience when they start out due to the interaction with the Golem Sims. All units trained in this city start out as level 3 instead of lv 1. Should any of the sovereign's children make use of the golem facilities there is a chance they can make yahoo with any Golem Sim which has the percentage chance in resulting in a Half-golem fighting unit which will want to follow around the sovereign and play imaginary games. Should anyone interrupt these games, than the Half-golem will get angry with the attacker and try to transform them into candy, which it will then share with those around it.
(mixed references there)
2). A wider variety of unit sizes. we have plenty of human size units. Lets call them medium. I'd like to see small, tiny, large, gigantic, huge, and minute.
small will be 2:1 to medium
tiny will be 4:1 to medium
large will 1:2 to medium
huge will be 1:4 to medium
gigantic will be 1:6 or 1:8 to medium
minute will be 8:1 to medium.
the minute size will enable us to field swarms and swarms of plague ridden rats so we can drown our enemies in chemical/biological warfare.
Also watch their surprise when you lob minute swarm filled pots of scorpions over their walls with catapults and follow this with a few well placed enlarging spells.
They will be sure to ignore the gigantic gingerbread man that you manged to create with your newfound magic knowledge on the use of the bakery tech upgrade.
This also enables the use of stealth and surprise tactics when you employ your merchant class to sell girl scout cookies to all the neighboring kingdoms and empires. (they look like girl scouts in uniform) Use your scrying magic to watch in glee when, at night, on a prearranged signal, your army of girl scout cookie golems burst out of their paper bags and bludgeon anyone who gets in their way as they move to open the city gates and destroy the defending army.
One of those girl scouts tried to sell me some cookies in my last game. She wanted to charge me tree-fitty. And that's when I realised she was the Lochness monster....
lolled so hard - awesome
Mounts when attacked - instead of fixing the animation freeze they should add more to the animation so the mount does a long actin routine of dying slowly for 2 mins and then getting back up bowing before the crowds that throw flowers at it - this should be a incredible increase in speed for the tactical map
We've decided to do a special "Rainbow Friendly" version of Undead Rising where this is possible. It's a Mod Mod so it'll be called "Undead Pants Rising".
.....ewww.
LOL
I feel there should be a martial artist style of hero available, perhaps with the supernatural ability to summon a talking panda to fight at his/her side. This hero should fight barehanded, but carries an umbrella, and have a high movement rate, yet has the tendency to become lost. Specifically this hero probably has a lousy fighting stance, but has an incredible ability to manipulate essence, or chi - the description should read they come from the north. Included should be an ability to inflict a triple power attack at the cost of two hit points per attack. Any sovereign who hires this hero will receive a magical black rose in their inventory. This rose grants a ranged attack that instantly banishes any summoned creature. It will have a light disc animation, will fly like a frisbee and return like a boomerang.
All marketplaces will have the noodle shop upgrade available which will provide 1 gold and 1 arcane research per turn for a 5 matts purchase cost. Noodle shops after all, are strange wonderful things where magic happens, eh kodachi ?
i could go on, but it's 5 am here lol
edit - what about the Rainbow Bright and Strawberry Shortcake vs Murky Dismal and the Purple Pie Man Mod - I'll need a really strong modeller for this project !!!
edit #2: awesome, but i'm still karmaless....
edit #3 after careful and lengthy introspection, i humbly request that the graphic for the familiar spell should be replaced with data used in the lord of the rings movies for gollum, since i can't keep thinking of his big round eyes every time i see the red familiar dance back and forth during combat and finally punches someone. This will, of course include a 5% random chance that on any given attack, the familiar will refuse to fight, curl into a ball and say "no, my precious, we fights only for you, not that ugly man-things"
Trojan cookies? Warfare will never be the same again.
If they are thin mints, I am doomed and might as well give up now.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:
Sign in or Create Account
