Talk about anything here.
I post when it is relevent to my interests
I've been fine as well twilight, you?
"If posting is sure to result in victory, then you must post!" Sun Tzu said that, and I think he knows a little bit more about posting than you do pal, 'cause he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no man could best him in the forum of honour.
Want me to post? Fine
Pick a topic:
1. Homecoming (AKA mini-prom) Where I took Mish and was hit on by 4 random girls.
2. My Guilt over my ex-girlfriend
3. Hannah's return, and possible plot to get on the bandwagon with me, and maybe push Mish. off while she's at it.
Xer0 \^/
Eh just talk about what you want to dude.
To be Honest, I would have posted each, since they're listed in chronological order, right after they happened. Homecoming will have been 2 weeks ago as of Saturday.
Each event is rather long, and each one is listed from least to most... troubling, imo. I can't decide which one to post, since each one is just as good as the other.
This
Well, ok if you cant decide, then I am gonna pick one: Number 3, which seems the most interesting one.
Ready? Set. Go
"Cute Pokemon always get Parahax!"
Well, the story really starts right after Mish and Hannah broke up, and I mentioned back then about how I was confused as to what to do, since I was under the impression both liked me. Well, apparently Mish told Hannah to back off before I asked Mish out. Ever since then Hannah has been avoiding physical and social contact with both of us. That is, until Monday.
On Monday, both Hannah and Mish are absent, I knew Mishayla was on her Family Vacation (of which she just returned from) but I was unaware, and concerned about, Hannah's whereabouts, considiring that she was once at school severely ill (her medications for pain and depression were apparently not supposed to be taken simaultaneously, something she was unaware of at the time. Long story short, she couldn't walk straight and could barely hold herself up), I figured it had to be something of serious caliber. I remembered that while the two were dating, Mish gave me Hannah's number. So after school I text her, asking her where she was.
D: Hey Hannah, it's Koda. Why weren't you in school today?H: I hit my head really hard, and I"ve been asleep almost all day (later we learn she has a concussion, as well as post-traumatic amnesia)D: Ouch, are you ok?H: Yeah, I'm k. I bet Mish was thrilled I wasn't there.D: Actually, she's out of school until Thursday. Low self-esteem much? H: It's not low-self esteem, she hates me.D: I'm... not so sure about that, I think it's mainly because of the drug issues (Hannah is semi-addicted to painkillers) and her past experience concerning Travis with that.H: No, she really does hate me, she'll bitch me out about random crap, and she can't talk, when she does drugs herself.D: You mean... insulin? H: Add Speed and Pot onto that.D: Riiiight... well, what is it she bitches you out about?H: Mostly about how I'm trying to steal you from her and stuff. But I see you more as a brother than a potential bf.
The... relevant parts of the conversation are listed, the rest is me trying to figure out what " But I see you more as a brother than a potential bf." means. I was absent on Tuesday for a physical at the doctor's, but she did text me after school, asking where I was and stuff. There was a joke about incest, referring to her and I dating, but I can't recall the circumstances of it.
Wednesday, the fun starts. Mishayla being gone, still, Hannah could do whatever she pleased with my company. I walk into school and start talking with Tim (one of my few remaining guy friends) about WiC and some of the newer movies (he saw Predators) when Hannah comes over, physically pulls me away from him, and says "Koda, your girlfriend isn't here, give me a hug" and after the hug, she says "Don't tell your girlfriend, or she'll kill me" and walks off. This is repeated during the day, as we meet eachother in the hallway. (Thank God I got a coldsore, otherwise she may have kissed me and asked me to keep quiet about that, too) She also tells me through text that she's hanging around me so much more because she misses being around me, and that Mish is overeacting to us hanging out, since we've known eachother since 9th grade. Again, I think another incest joke is made, but I can't recall.
Today, Mishayla comes back, and aside from being exstatic to see me for the first time in a week, is noticably angry at me for getting a coldsore (After I drop her off from first period, I try to walk away, but she pulls me back and tries to kiss me, but I regretfully inform her that I have a coldsore. 1/2 Dissapointed 1/2 Irritated, she lets go of me and walks into class), but aside from that acts as though I'm the last beam of sunshine in the night sky, and savors my every second with her. (Something I do enjoy very much ) Hannah, as expected, avoids me whenever Mish is around, acting as though the past few days never happened (she even told me to keep the fact that me and her text a secret... again, concerning), however, as soon as Mish and I are apart, she demands a hug since Mish is gone. Her exact words, upon seeing me alone, "Oh, good, your girlfriend is gone, come give me a hug, Koda" and after the hug departs without another word. Me and a friend of mine, Miranda (a psychoanalist as much, if not more, than I am, she always tries to pry out of me whether or not I have feelings for Hannah, of sympathy or otherwise, in our conversations) and she concluded, based off of the above, that Hannah has an emotional and physical hole left in her where Mishayla used to be, and that she's attempting to fill the hole, primarily with me, but also with overly flirtatious acts towards strangers (At homecoming, for example, she danced with 3 different people, two girls and one guy, and she later bragged in front of Mish that she gave the guy a hard-on). She did not, however, directly answer my question about Hannah's possible romantic feelings for me, rather, she tried to figure out what my feelings were towards her.
The only remaining hole in the plot is for me to get Mishayla's viewpoint on this, so I have all 3 sides of the story and can figure out wtf is going on. Since I can't ask Mishayla this (It would confirm her suspicions about Hannah flirting with me, and god knows what hell would follow) I have resolved to ask Liz, my ex girlfriend, and Mishayla's best friend, about it. (Thank God for small favors, I still have Liz's e-mail address from last year). All I know for certain are the following;
1. Mishayla is jealous of any girl that interacts with me (At homecoming she was laid-back about this, since she didn't want to pressure me into anything, but she did keep an eye on any girl that approached me after Tawnee started dancing with me)
2. Hannah is hiding something, or is unsure of her own actions herself.
3. Apparently I must be attractive to some degree, given the circumstances.
4. This is going to be a Win-Lose scenario, I can see that, and
5. I'm getting too emotionally drained from trying to satisfy both girls...
Your thoughts, Gentlemen? Any help would be appreciated, because hopelessness is starting to set it atm.
JESUS CHRIST!
That's the longest un-quoted post I've ever made!
Oh, and all of this shit is copyrighted, I see this anywhere else or in a book, and I"ll hunt you down via your IP Address and throw you off the cliffs of Meteora.
Ok I read it, but I can't really help. 4 weeks of Biology homework in 2 nights does that to ya
Morpheas to the rescue! YAY!!
Just kidding
I'll try to keep it short, but this WILL be a long post, so excuse me in advance.
First of all, a couple of questions:
Vicodin! Just kidding....
Hmm, why does Hannah use painkillers, is she affected with some chronic pain disease? Just curious here.
And what about her past experience with Travis? Isnt he Mish's BF? We dont know all the little details here in the Chatroom, so thats why I'm asking!
"Speed"? What is that?
Now, I will try to keep my personal experiences out of my evaluation/opinion on the matter, considering that I did have a similar experience, so here we go:
Well, it is obvious, duh If she is being honest, then she said that she sees you more as a good friend (brother), than a guy/potential BF. I dunno, I will have to hear more about that incest joke, to have a better opinion. It depends on how much you know and trust her. Would she lie to you about something so significant?
Now, I wanna stay in the part where she pulled you away from your friend, hugged you, and said "Koda your girlfriend isnt here, give me a hug.". Emphasis on the "girlfriend" part. If she looked at Mish as competition to the whole dating thing, ergo if she wanted you to be her BF, and get rid of Mish, I think that she would call her with her name (Mishayla).
Like saying: "I'm your girl friend who's almost like a sister, and Mish is your GF. Now that she isnt here, we can hug, without her being jealous."
It might mean something else as well, but this is how I see it. But it definitely means something.
Have you tried not letting her hug you to see how she will react? Do the experiment sometime, if you want.
And what about the whole "brother-sister" thing?? Are you and Hannah really that close as friends? Tell us more.
How do you know that she would have kissed you if you didnt have a coldsore? Did she make a hint or move that made you think that? Or is it a wild guess? And by kissing you mean cheek to cheek right? Otherwise its "making out".
Ok, now why would she be angry at you for getting Herpes? I mean, you didnt do it on purpose obviously
However, her infatuation with you is definitely a good sign, if not something more.
I would advise you against that. Seriously now, it is a lot better for Mish to hear it from you, now that it is early, than her finding out the wrong way later on, when you will be closer with her.
Secrets in a relationship never help anyone. Neither the secret-holder nor the person who doesnt know.
Psychoanalists, psychologists, psychiatrists, cant really tell a person who they really are, or what they feel exactly. They can give a pretty close evaluation or analysis at best, but they cant be sure, and certainly cant be precise.
Now, Miranda's analysis might be correct (as much as it can be), but the only way you can be sure, is to ask Hannah herself.
Question: What is a "hard-on"? I assume its erection expressed differently?
1. She is obviously the jealous type. It is a good thing on the one hand, because it means that she (at least) really likes you, but is not so good at the same time, since it can cause misunderstandings, and bad situations. Just let her know and make her understand, that she is the only one for you. Remind her every day if possible, through sweet talk, and maybe some "I love you"s, if you feel that way.
2. I think the latter is probably true here, although you cant be sure unless you find out more.
3. Really?? You think so? ........ However impossible it might seem to you, I think there is a slight chance that you are attractive as a guy. Lose the low self-esteem and stop laughing about it please.
4. Yes, unfortunately it seems that 1 of the 2 (Mish or Hannah), will be kinda hurt in the end. Win-Lose scenario? I dont think so.
5. You dont have to emotionally satisfy 2 girls. I think most people would pay more attention to her GFs, than their friends. Also, considering that Hannah is NOT your GF, why do you have to "satisfy" her like you say? Being her friend doesnt mean that you have to flirt with her all the time, to make her feel nice. Just saying.
My thoughts....hmm...
As hard as I try to keep my personal experiences and opinions out of this, it is kinda impossible.
However, I would say that I will try to be as objective as possible.
1. You dreamed of being with Mish for so long. I would advise you not to ruin this relationship, and maintain it for as long as possible (considering that you do want to be with her ofc).
2. I believe that Mish should know about Hannah's actions, considering that she is your GF, and that Hannah is at least semi-flirting with you. After all, you wouldnt want her to find out the wrong way, and I assure you that it would be a lot worse than you telling her. I understand that you dont want to "rat" on Hannah, after her telling you not to say anything to Mish, but you need to think a little bit more about yourself, about the whole thing. And Hannah doing....whatever it is she's doing, affects both you and your relationship with Mish.
3. I cant know better than you the whole situation, but only you can tell if this is going to turn ugly or not. If Mish finds out, and goes all like "You f*^%ing whore, leave Koda alone!!! DIE!!!" remains to be seen, and you should know if Mish would take it really bad, because more factors come into play here, like Mish's relationship with Hannah, your relationship with her, etc, but the thing is, that you NEED to "clear your nest" here, be honest with both Mish and Hannah, and generally avoid future incoming fire.
Worst case scenario (if you do that), is that Mish and Hannah never speak to each other ever again, you lose Hannah as a friend, and keep your GF (Mish). You definitely do not want to lose them both.
I know, I was being a little extreme here, but I'm just saying
4. I understand that you are trying to be careful, not make any mistakes because the situation is delicate, but do not take too much damn time trying to figure out what's going on. Time is working against you atm.
I dont think there's a way to be 100% sure about Hannah's feelings towards you. Even she herself might not be sure. Or she is just lying. Its either one or the other. (Although I believe she is unsure, but please dont take my personal opinion into account.)
5. I think its safe to say, that the best play would be to take what Hannah said (she sees you more as a brother...) for granted, tell Mishayla everything, let her know that you only have eyes for her, that Hannah and you are just friends, and try to make it go as smooth as possible. Calm both of them down, with some of your diplomatic tricks (you must have some), but do keep in mind that trying to maintain both of your relationships (Mish and Hannah), might be a little risky, to say the least. You might want to try to give more attention to Mish, and make your relationship with her your #1 priority (protecting it), because you definitely do NOT want everything to do down with a big bang.
The truth shall set you free. After all, you are being the nice guy here, and you havent done anything wrong
Good luck.
"Human beings are a disease, and we are the cure"
Trying something new here, posting from school.
Now then;
1. Hannah uses painkillers left over from operations; she doesn't have any actual pain, she's simply addicted to them.
Speed = Meth
Hard-on = Boner
Travis is Mish's longest-lasting BF, he also hurt her the most by cheating on her and abusing her while under the influence of drugs. They dated for 13 months total. Tomorrow marks our first month.
No, I'm not that close to her, however, due to her lack of friends and a current significant other, she probably does view me as one of her last great friends. She'll never refer to Mishayla by name in company, and the two don't get along very well. The entire reason they broke up was because of Hannah's abuse to Mishayla, same as Travis. I can tell she wanted to kiss me, by her body language, and the fact that she was so forceful in her hugs. Mishayla is here today, so we havn't hugged yet, but I'll try to deny her a hug under the alibi that I feel guilty towards Mish later.
Mish was angry at me because we couldn't have a big romantic "Aww, I missed you so much!" kiss.. she's very romantic about almost everything. I'll tell Mish about Hannah's most recent activity once I get word from Liz what her opinion about the whole issue is.
1. Isn't one month a little early for "I love you"'s?
2. She's actually high on something today, so I can figure out more while she's under.
3. Meh.
4. Yeah, I know. It's rather depressing, I can't live a life of happiness without first making others suffer.
5. I feel.. obligated to satisfy Hannah simply because I know she's an outcast, and I know that she really has nowhere left to turn but to me for comfort now. I doubt she's aware of her infatuation with me, or is hiding it if she is, because of her statement "Boys are icky" shortly after she and Mish. broke up.
~~~~~~~~
1. It's not that I'm trying to ruin the relationship, it's just this damned selflessness of mine, making me sacrifice myself for the greater good of others.
2. Mishayla WILL KILL Hannah... especially considering recent events. The two fought yesterday about how Mish never cared for Hannah (and argument started by Hannah) when Mish texted Hannah asking about her concussion. I kid you not, the gates of hell will open if Mish finds out.. however, she'll probably understand if I explain the situation carefully enough. I'll be at her house tomorrow (probably) so I'll try to break the news there.
3. Again, Hell will be brought about should this become public. *sigh* If only there were two of me, or if polygamy was legal... no, even then the two would fight. Damn, life sucks.
4. She has a cycle with me now, really, whenever I'm not with Mish she'll ask about it (This morning, for example, Mish had to get her blood sugar tested and Hannah asked me where "My other half" was, then proceeded to hug me and tickle me...) so I'm not sure what her real feelings are.
5. Yeah. I'll try to work out a story where it looks like Hannah is only trying to be friends, and not doing... what she's doing, then explain it to Mish. later.
"Oh what tangled webs we weave, when we practice to deceive" - Actions and Motives, 10 Years
Its kinda late for me atm and I have to go to sleep, but I'll try to respond as best as I can.
WTF, both Mish and Hannah are addicted to something
Uhm, I said "erection" which is basically the same thing
You should do something special together, like kicking Travis in the nuts, for example
And how do YOUview her?
When you're talking about Travis' and Hannah's abuse to Mish, do you mean mental or physical abuse?
1. Yes it is, but I didnt take into account the fact that you are together for only 1 month. My bad.
2. Gosh
4. Its not your fault. Besides, you cant keep everyone AND yourself happy. Someone will always be unhappy. You have to accept that. Have you seen the movie "The Butterfly Effect"? There is a lot of truth in that movie.
5. I understand that. Well, you cant really do much if she really is infatuated with you. And considering that Mish will "murder" Hannah if she finds out (like you said), just keep a safe distance between your friend Hannah. Just make her understand that you are with Mish, without hurting her feelings. But I do understand that you are being a nice guy, and feel sympathy towards Hannah.
1. Selflessness is noble and moral indeed. However, being completely selfless isnt going to turn out good for you, as you can understand.
2. Use your diplomatic skills, and push her buttons (she must have some), in order to make her as less furious as possible. I trust that you should know some tricks by now, right?
3. No trust me, you wouldnt want to be with the 2 of them at the same time. Ok, a three-some one night stand might be nice, but having 2 GFs at once, no no no I wouldnt want that in the long run. And yes, life sucks. Welcome to Earth.
4. Tickle you, REALLY? Ok....hugging, attempting to kiss you, tickling.....now I have no doubt in my mind that she is flirting with you.
5. No, dont make up stories, and lie to her. Just tell her the truth, but dress it up nicely. Ok, maybe skip the parts where Hannah wanted to kiss you (she didnt do it after all), and maybe tell her that she doesnt do it all the time, but dont make up stories.
*Writes* *Wrtes* Changes part of where Xer0 has cold sore in script.
Read quote
Third world computers have no IP
lolj/k
ok now for my thoughts. The only way I know how to answer to these long posts.
Alt: reads xero's post
Morph: Offers advice;
Alt: agrees
Really and truly there is a fine line btwn Selflessness and overindulgence in sacraficial activity. It seems to be coming over to the point of the later for you. I generally stay away from offering advice to people, but here is one thing I will say. Your trying to help Hannah, but looking at all the problems you say she has...your underqualified. She seems to need serious medical attention, and well whatever or however they deal with drug addicts over there.
Of course you'd agree with me. I am just that awesome!
J/K he he
Thats an easy way to put it, and a little shallow estimation, but yeah you are correct.
Aka Rehab. Simple as that.
But that is really up to her (Hannah). One must really want it, in order to manage to get out of their addiction to drugs.
So Xer07 convincing her to go to Rehab or something, would never work. She must do it willingly.
Srry I've been afk, the weekend was hell. Got a cold.
Now;
I view Hannah as an old friend in need, nothing more. Be that as it may, I used to envy her while the two of them (Mish and Her) dated, but I give her sympathy and I'll throw her a line, even if I'm the one drowning.
1. It's k, again, you don't have a camera on my shoulder following me around, so you don't know everything.
2. She actually complained to me this morning that she needed a hit. On a side note: she's very apologetic towards me whenever she thinks she might have offended or irritated me, saying to me she's afraid of me abandoning her.
4. If she really is infatuated with me I'll probaby become super depressed, tbh. I think that I might have a Messiah Complex as well as an Inferiority Complex.
5. I'm not sure what "Overindulgence in acts of Selflessness" can be categorized as a psychological disorder, but I think I may have that as well. *sigh*
6. Meh, I just told her that Hannah is attempting to become closer to me, which she doesn't care about. I guess she doesn't percieve Hannah as a threat since we're dating, however, I did leave out the flirting when I told her.
7. I was considering becoming closer to Hannah, then asking her what she wanted out of the relationship once we became close. not sure how much longer I can take being her little diary/teddy bear (The other day she told me that she hates her father and her family hates her, she kisses her palms, blah blah blah, and I retorted that I never knew my biological father, so I could relate to a degree.)
8. Yeah. What with me and my ex gf wrestling at every out-of-school event we attend together, Mish and I who just plain are physical overall, and now Hannah, day to day life is getting exhausting.
9. done and done. Oh, and apparently my looks are akin to that of Justin Timberlake, on a degree of attractiveness, not similarity, according to my female relatives, and girlfriend. Now my female peers are going to start dressing me like him as well. Fun.
"Bear the Cross, Wear the Crown, there's just some Evil you can't Bleed Out" -Actions and Motives by Ten Years
roflmao, the school's firewall is fail. I hope they know that if I just log in using my school username and number, I can suprass the firewall and do whatever I want on here for 480 minutes per day.
meh i hate long posts. And i al always short and to the point in real life.
I prefer to use the word blunt when describing myself.
Aye aye sir. Blunt it is!
@Xer07: I see that half of your post refers to my last post?? I cant really tell who you are responding to.
Anyway,
1. Yep. If I knew everything, I'd be you, he he
2. What do you mean by saying "she needed a hit"? Getting high? - Well, make her feel safe. Women always need security. But that means she doesnt wanna lose you, so its not so bad, is it? Dont worry, as long as you dont do something really stupid, you are fine, at least on your part.
4. Why is that? How is it your fault that Hannah might have a crush on you?? Chill out dude, you have done nothing wrong. And what is that Messiah complex?
5. You dont have anything. Its all in your mind. Except for 1 thing: Now, sit down, because that might be a little sudden for you. You are....human .....OMGWTF you're human!!
6. Or maybe she does consider Hannah a threat, but she really trusts you. Or she is acting like that. Its gotta be 1 of the 3
7. It seems as though Ms Hannah is lonely. She doesnt have a lot of friends (??), and no BF/GF, so I guess you are being both for her, for the time being. And you dont have to get closer to her if you dont want to. Btw, how much do you trust her? Do you think she'd screw you over if she had the chance? If you dont trust her, then keep a safe distance. If you do, but cant bear to be her diary/teddy bear like you said, then....I dunno, help her out I guess? But dont spend all your emotional energy on her. If on the other hand, you dont mind being all that for her, and you wanna help her out, then go ahead.
Just do 1 thing for a change: Think about yourself. Just for once. See if it feels any better. I am not saying to be all like: "Screw everybody, all I care about is ME!", I am saying stop being so damn selfless all the time. Basically, I am not telling you to be selfish, but neither selfless.
Ok, maybe I went too far with all this. Just ignore the last part.
8. Hmm....please translate all that, because you confused me Your ex-GF is....Liz?? And why do you wrestle all the time? You and Mish are physical....in your relationship? Like not emotional? And where does Hannah fit into this?
9. I assume that you dont like that very much. Oh whatever, who cares about appearance anyway? (Yes, I said that) - You Americans are too shallow. Sorry, but thats the truth.
Thats nice of you
1. I don't know everything.
2. Actually it's getting to the point where I'm having Mish and Hannah around at the same time, with no issues, just a lack of physical activity towards Hannah in company.
4. Messiah Complex - The idea or belief that one is the savior of a certain individual, group, or culture. Two notable examples are Jack Shephard of Lost and Light Yagami of Death Note. It's not that it's my fault, it's that I'd fail to live up to her expectations seeing as I can never truly satisfy her romantically.
5. If being human means being imperfect, then I will have to break free of my Human bonds and become inhuman. At least, that's what has to happen, otherwise... I only pray that hell has a bottom.
6. Mishayla apparently does trust me enough to deal with Hannah, since she has no issue with me and liz goofing around like we do.
7. I refer to part 5. for this, and I also should point out that so long as she doesn't kiss me, or anything I can maintain at the cost of some of my time and energy.
8. My ex-girlfriend is Liz, yes, and we wrestly and occasionally tickle one another whenever we are at parties and such (The Pool party was an exception, thank god, she's at least a C cup, maybe bigger.. she almost fell out 3x, same for Hannah, just down a few cup sized) and we play "Tag" at school (one of us will "tag" the other in the hall and dart away, until we come across one another again) Mish and I kiss and hug more than we talk about emotional joys and woes these days. A true sign of my descent. Hannah, again, tickles and hugs me.
9. Meh, self-esteem boost.
There is a bottom. They use Pinoccio as fuel for the furnace when gas is too expensive.
1. Uhm... I meant knowing everything about you, dummy Aka, only you know everything about yourself.
2. Ok, but does the phrase "she needed a hit", mean she wanted to get high, or not?
4. I've never seen Death Note, but I get the meaning of the Messiah Complex. And you need to satisfy Hannah romantically....why??
5. I dont know what you meant with that Hell comment, but fyi we are all human beings, thus we are all imperfect. If someone was truly perfect, then they just wouldnt be human. They'd be some kind of higher entity probably, but certainly not human. Just accept it.
6. Ok, good for you then. I guess all the fuss was for nothing, huh?
7. Now, hold on, because this is gonna be a big revelation. Ok, ready? Here it goes: Men/guys CAN say no to women/girls, believe it or not! Yeah, you have the right to not let her kiss you, however implausible it may sound IF you dont want to kiss her that is (of course).
8. I know what Tag is, duh And I have to say, flirting with 2 girls + having a GF all at once FTW! He he, I'm only half kidding here, but you are kinda doing that. And dont start telling me now, things like: "We just wrestle as friends" and "we just tickle one another, while I look at her breast size...I mean, we are only friends... ". Come on Xer07, just admit it, and enjoy it! Btw, I'm sure there are plenty of guys you can wrestle with, and they are a lot more challenging than a 15 year old schoolgirl. What you're doing is calling flirting, my friend Your "descent"?? Since when getting physical with a girl is wrong? Unless you're telling me that you dont have any sexual impulses and desires, which is impossible, or you're claiming that you're not human, then you havent done anything wrong. Guess what Xer07: You are not a angel, neither a demon. You're just human.
9. Yeah, you need that.
Counter vid-post! Enjoy:
I go for a week and we don't even start a new page? Blasphemy!
Anyway...
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:
Sign in or Create Account
