Talk about anything here.
Nevertheless, it's a good film. I won't give anything away, don't worry.
And why don't you go? Because as I see it, you've just turned down an invitation from your gf-to-be. That's not good manners. Just look at it this way: if she wants you to be there, then go. It's a good start (I'm assuming this is part of your new "get with Mishayla" drive), and you don't have to start again by going straight into going together. If she figures out you're not going because you won't be able to get with her in front of her family, then she'll think you just want her for yourself.
Honestly, take it slow. Works every time (well, unless she's not into you, but in that case you'll have time to notice before you embarass yourself).
I agree
So why dont you go Xer07? What do you have to lose?
Like Snipe said, dont turn her down. If she wants you to be there, then go.
Who else is gonna be in this "group" besides her family?
That would be all.
I'm a little confused; you're not going because it's with her family? or what?
*sigh*It's just the simple fact that all of the Toy Story movies make my cry like a newborn.
Mostly due to the fact that the movies focus on friendship and how strong that bond is, a rather sore subject to me.
Xer0 \^/
O.
But I am sure that Mish knows that already. And if she doesnt you cant hope to keep something like that secret from the girl you claim to love.
Plus, Her parents finding out would allow you to show that you have sensitive side or something like that
No, as a matter of fact, she doesn't know that.
Up to this point, I've tried to hide my weaknesses from her, because she's supposed to be the one who's problems I solve, I'm supposed to be the one that she can rely on, and I can't do that if she knows that I'm just a sad depressed little shell of a man.
And they already know I have a sensitive side, she's told them about me, I've been over to her house, and they teased her for the poem I wrote in her Yearbook.
Hey, I cried at the penultimate ending in the movie and my crush didn't think less of me. Try this motto: If IFear can screw up and live, then so caan you.
but you cant live a lie Xer0. There is a saying that says no man is island. So can sit there pretending to be all calm and floating in your sea. But eventually she will find out, as you cant keep up that faced forever. Its up to you whether she finds out on your terms or hers.
Besides a relationship is suppose to be give and take. You help her she helps you
Then again, it's not really screwing up. I'd had the first film since it came out and have grown attached to the characters over the years.
...
The point I was trying to get across is that atm she thinks that I can solve any problem set in front of me with just a little dedicated thought, hell, that's what I've done for her for the past 6 years, at this point in time she's told me that she thinks I could grow up to be a psychologist.
Moving on; I just don't want her to find out how much of a total screw up I am, that, and she's never had a boyfriend besides Travis who had issues that she needed to help them out with.
So what. Pretending your something that your not will just get you in trouble
I've decided to go, but what happens from there is beyond my control.
THAT, and since my Dad comes home from Kuwait in 8 days (Not hooray), I might not be able to go anyway.
Xer07 the best thing you could do, for her AND for you, is:
Go to the movie but do not cry or anything. Do what you always do and dont show your rather sensitive side to her.
But, dont stop there. You need to try to make all your problems disappear, including these "friendship" wounds you mentioned.
You say its a sore subject for you, I say its a psychological wound.
What I really wanted to say is, that over the years you not only have solved Mishayla's problems for her, but somehow made them your own. You do everything you can for her, and absorb all this sadness, all this misery.
Stop being like that. Its all in your mind. You are not sad or miserable or whatever else, unless you want to be. Try to be in control of your emotions, instead of letting them control you.
You have gone this far choosing the rough road, filled with rocks and snakes. Now change direction and choose the easy way. The highway.
Thats right, I am telling you to start looking out a little for yourself, because frankly, like you said in the past, you're pretty much an emotional tampon for her.
You CAN do everything. Care for her, as much as for yourself. Do both, and at least you wont be miserable.
Once you realize, at some point in your life, that the human mind is capable of such greatness, as well as the opposite, then you can be free of the chains that hold you.
Now, I made a suggestion about the whole movie thing, but you probably cant do that. Well, in that case, Altaux is fairly correct. IF you're gonna be with her some time in the future, she is gonna find out, one way or another.
So, to summarize, and to say "if I were in your shoes", being you, then I would let her know of the real Dakota, in spite of the repercussions. Whats the worst thing that can happen? She stops being friends with you just because of that? I dont think so. IF she stopped being friends with you because of your sensitiveness, then that means she is using you all this time, and that she isnt a real friend to you. But I am sure that is not the case.
QFT Do that. Let her know.
Its all in your mind Xer07. (how many times have I said that?)
It is a psychological wound, because practically every friend I've ever made I've been seperated from or abandoned by as time goes by. This has aided in my inferiority complex's development, and also is the reason why I'm antisocial these days. I'm not sure if it's something I can get past, it's a defining feature of mine.
I'm not exactly sure how it is that I've "absorbed" Mishayla's problems, but ever since I've started acting as her problem solver, I have felt pangs of insecurity and betrayal as she dated one boy after another, and then eventually a girl. I have also felt inadequate from the start, but that's probably stemming from childhood experiences and growing off of that. A few days ago, actually, she came to me over Yahoo Messenger and told me that she and Hannah had fought again, and that she was getting jealous of Hannah's boyfriend and thinking about breaking up with Hannah. Rather than tell her that breaking up was the right thing to do, I instead took it upon myself to solve the problem, and in less than 15 minutes not only had I come up with 3 hypothesis as to the reason behind Hannah's actions, 2 of them making sense according to Mishayla, but also I had increased her overall morale and resolve; now she eagerly awaits going back to school to see Hannah. I still have no idea both why I did this or where I summoned the brainpower to calculate human psychology and predict their behavior so quickly.
Anyway, the difference between my and her problems is that her problems are current, and ever happening, my problems are primarily in the past, save for the recent development with her. She has problems with current events, day to day things, I have problems with things that I can't put to rest, that I can't get over the past.
And, thanks to the recent overturn of proclamation 8, it's fairly likely that she'll end up marrying another girl than me, especially since she both can't run the risk of being pregnant, and that she's only dating people for the fun of dating them atm.
I actually think that the further uncovering of my sensitivity to her would make me all the more attractive to her, given that "All guys are insensitive jerks and douchebags... except for you, you're different " It's just the simple fact that I don't want to be percieved as weak for being unable to get over the past, and I don't want her to worry about me.
This whole inferiority complex is all in your head. It doesnt exist. Get rid of it. "How?" You ask. Well first of all by realizing that you are no different than other people. Theoretically you are equal to other people. And practically, I can find you a million reasons as to why, not only you are equal to other people, but superior.
Moreover, you have some qualities that you take them for granted, that other people cant even grasp them, cant even slightly have them. Morality, loyalty, kindness, selflessness, honesty, humility, and a few others I am not going to list atm.
You have absorbed Mishayla's problems, by solving each one of her day to day problems, having the satisfaction of helping her, but get nothing in return. Each time you help her with one of her problems, you do it completely selflessly, expecting and getting nothing in return. Also, when you solve 1 of her problems, you make it your own, putting yourself in her shoes, and when her problem is solved you feel incomplete, because it wasnt your problem in the first place.
In addition, each time you help her with one of her problems, she is gonna go back to her gf or bf (you said she used to date guys), and you feel used, rejected.
The 2nd and 3rd reasons I mentioned, I am not entirely sure, but the 1st (getting nothing in return) I am sure about.
I understand that your problems are in the past. I understand that you had some rough times in your life, and that the lack of a real father never helped the situation. But you need to leave the past behind you sometime. You have to let it all go. I know it is difficult to let some things go, because they are rooted deep inside you. But I never said it is easy. I just said that it is possible.
Hmm....talking about marriage eh? You have even thought about marrying her at this age? You sir are sooooo much in love with her.
Dont worry about being perceived as weak. Show her your sensitiveness, and make her worry about you a little, but not too much. Trust me, her worrying about you is a good thing, especially when she realizes that she cares for you. If she worries about you, then she cares, and that can evolve to something even greater, such as love.
All this time, Mishayla, your crush, your love, doesnt know about you. Show her. Let her know the real Dakota. You cant lose her as a friend just because of this. You already have been there for her so many times, for so many years, that I dont think she is gonna abandon you like your past friends you mentioned.
"Take a risk, take a chance, make a change" - Karma if you find where that quote is from.
I seriously hope it's not from that Kelly Clarkson song. . . .
BTW, has anyone here seen UHF?
It is actually
I dont even know what it is.
cant believe i am gona say this but meh. Truth is Xer0 i cant help but see my past in what you are going through now. I mean i am not that much older than you are, but I didnt grow up with a father either. And growing up I was always moving so i never used to become attached to people. I was antisocial and the people around me used to say It was like i was in a shell never wanting to interact or show my real self becuase it would not last.
Eventually however (under circumstances i will keep to myself) i learned that it is important to cherish every moment you have with people even if it wont last.
Now i know that your motivations are most likely far from mine, but still i reccomend reaching out to people, and making some real freinds. People you can talk to, laugh with, annoy or whatver. Becuase no man is an island and I learnt that life is no fun when you have no one to share it with. So you either get selfish and try to get closer to Mish so that you can have someone to confide in, or find some one you click with.
He he, everyone relates to Xer07 somehow
Btw, I stand for what Altaux said: You reach out to people, Xer07. Dont stay in your shell.
I hate that!. Stop livin our lives
gone bedding
Gone phighing.
What the hell is phighing?
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