Three guys walk into a bar. You'd have thought one them would have spotted it.

Ancient jokes ftw!

I'm gone for like 3 days and a king of lamps, the first crazy, the other guy, limey, and the AI all come back.

i actually came to say hi.

now bye. I'm going away for a week.

every ones telling jokes so i will leave you this,

Beer Troubleshooting Chart

SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet.
SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM - Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
SOLUTION - Glass empty. Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM - Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
SOLUTION - You have fallen over backward. Have yourself lashed to bar.

SYMPTOM - Mouth contains cigarette butts.
SOLUTION - You have fallen forward. See above.

SYMPTOM - Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
SOLUTION - Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM - Floor blurred.
SOLUTION - You are looking through bottom of empty glass. Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM - Floor moving.
SOLUTION - You are being carried out. Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM - Room seems unusually dark.
SOLUTION - Bar has closed. Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM - Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
SOLUTION - You are dancing on the table. Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM - Beer is crystal-clear
SOLUTION - It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. Punch him.

SYMPTOM - Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
SOLUTION - You have been in a fight. Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them

SYMPTOM - Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
SOLUTION - You've wandered into the wrong party. See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM - Your singing sounds distorted.
SOLUTION - The beer is too weak. Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM - Don't remember the words to the song.
SOLUTION - Beer is just right. Play air guitar

Let me put it simple for you:

WE  DONT  CARE !

That would be all.

quite lol actually

Ha, I thought you guys wouldnt like Greek humor

Here's 1 more:

A guy walks in a bar, and asks for a drink. Then he starts reading his newspaper, while drinking. In an attempt to start a little chit chat with the bartender or maybe another customer, he says:

"The Rangers lost from Southampton, they really SUCK! They lost 7-1 and..."

The bartender immediately interrupts him, saying: "Whoa, dude dont talk about sports here, I dont want any trouble in my bar, got it?"

Man: "Ok, mate, no problem."

He then continues, his attempt to start a conversation, by saying:

"Look at Pope, he thinks he is so great with...."

The bartender interrupts him again:

"Whoa, dude dont talk about religious stuff here, I dont want any trouble in my bar, got it?"

The man is annoyed, but he replies: "Ok, mate."

Then he makes a 3rd attempt to start a conversation:

"Omg look at this clown, he got elected and he thinks we are all gonna kiss his butt now, Prime minister my ass!"

The bartender interrupts him for the 3rd time, literally yelling at him:

"Whoa, dude dont talk about politics here, I dont want any trouble in my bar, got it?"

The man then asks:

"Let me ask you a question. Do you allow conversations about sexual stuff in your bar?"

Bartender: "Yeah, dude. Thats it. You can talk about sex all you want here."

Man: "Well then, FUCK YOU!"

That would be all.

I didnt. I wrote it myself, translating it from Greek to English, but I had to recall it first, because it is an old joke.

You're lame Xer07. Some things are original, and cannot be found on the internet

Every joke I know is Greek, and us Greeks do not bother to post on some forum on the internet. With some rare exceptions.....

But seriously, we dont spend time sitting on our computers here in Greece. I am 1 of the few that are like that. What can I say, I am almost American

p.s. Same goes for the previous joke I posted, translated it from Greek to English.

That would be all.

Alright.

Dammit Xer07, stop posting, lol

I gtg to bed

....must resist....posting....

That would be all.

So, this guy is talking to a bartender, and says, "Do you want to here a joke?"

Seeing the man nod, he continues "well, a jew walks into a bar-"

"We won't have any of that in here!" says the bartender.

"You don't let jews into your bar? You racist!"

Shitty jokes FTW! Try this one. It ain't much better, but you know...

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. They get a pint a beer each and sit down, discussing the football and how much they were trying to avoid their wives, until a horse walked in.

"Yeah, I'll have a pint of bitter, thanks," the horse said to the barman. The cat and the dog looked at each other, looked at their glasses, and said, "Did that horse just speak?"

Snipe's 2 jokes: What the hell, I thought the British had a sense of humor

I give to the first one, and  and 1/2 to the second one.

FAIL jokes FTW!!!

To be honest, the only joke I really liked was Altaux's

Altaux's joke: and 1/2.

Very funny....

Random Plug: Paramore - Brick by boring brick

That would be all.

LOL

Nice 1 he he.

That would be all.

It seems that the alien, the heretic, and the mutant have decided to populate the forums in the absence of the righteous.

This will have to be rectified with much violence. *cocks boltgun and revs chainsword*

"I don't grin like a moron, I grin like a sociopath." | Say it now, before the cleansing begins- Techmarine/Scout Sergeant Cyrus, Dawn of War II