One of my favorite people will be going in for cataract surgery next week and I thought it would be nice to start a thread to wish him well or at least leave him in stitches.
Ed I hope all goes well and here are the;
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery
1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?
3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!
4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!
5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of 'em
10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"
11 Hey nurse, look what happens when I poke this bit!
12 Oops
13. What Insurance did you say he has?!
Hope the surgery goes well, Ed!
I think you know who the surgeon's gonna be.....Be afraid. Be very afraid. Bwah hah hah!
13. I have not slept in days...
Hope all goes well Ed. Wishing you a quick & complete recovery.
14. whattya mean I wasn't supposed to do a colonoscopy?
Hope all goes well Ed
Many wishes for a successful operation and a speedy recovery to you Ed.
Good luck, sir!
15. I don't know where that came from, just put it over there.
Your sight will be good as new in no time, Ed!!!
16. I thought he'd been circumsized once, but okay!
Thanks all my great and gracious friends.
I wish you well Ed!
Hope all goes well and you have a speedy recovery.
Wishing you a safe op and a successful outcome Ed. My Mum had that done some years back. She was all excited going in; said they were going to use a laser. Unfortunately, she was also hard of hearing - they meant a taser. Get back here real soon Ed.
Good luck, Ed. [e digicons]:karma:[/e]
good luck, angus
no more excuses for not being able to see now......... wish you the best ed.......xxxx
Best wishes Ed, I know a few people that have had it done, all favourable results!
17. Good news and bad news.
Good news is...we know what you've got....
Bad knews is...we're naming it after you...
I don't have anything funny to say, Ed, but I hope the surgery is a piece of cake for both you and the surgeon, recovery is speedy, and you're so impressed with the results you wonder why you didn't have it done sooner. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Good luck tomorrow
18. This is the guy Po' called about and said was on his list and we should take REAL good care of.
One oriental said to the other...."I Have Cataract"
The other says " No big deal, I have Rincon Continenter!"
When you get done puking from this awful attempt at a joke, try to get well soon.
They'll get you "patched up" easy as pie!
Best to you Ed. When you get done with the surgery leave the nurses alone.
19: Waddya mean, I could be facing a malpractice suit?? I was the left testicle due to be removed... wasn't it????
All the best to you, Ed... I hope it all goes really well for you.
20: Nurse, be really, really nice to this patient! After the surgery he'll be able to keep a better eye on you, so wear that really short, cleavage busting uniform of yours to ensure he's really happy with his stay, treatment here.
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