I would give you karma but having an elf for Xmas dinner would be classified as cannibalism in some parts.  Word has it that they're quite tasty, though.

Oh, and Troggly always wins that contest... on account of having longer, thinner fingers and a larger hooter than his cousin, who has short, dumpy fingers that only reach so far in before getting lodged.  This one time, at Band Camp, poor Troubles had to go to the ER to get a finger that was well and truly stuck up his left nostril surgically removed.  Not so with Troggly, though!  Several items have been lost up his olfactory orifice over the years, not to mention small to medium sized pets who were never to be heard from again

I would give you karma but you'd be wasting your time digging for skipper... last I saw he was taking off in a hot air balloon.

I would give you karma but that smart alec dog outwitted me and got to the stash first.  Since then he has buried it someplace and won't say where.

Also, banned and no karma for ugly rodents in the belfry... little buggers scared off the bell-ringer by hiding in her underwear.

I would give you karma but it seems you've been doing some upskirt recon to know she doesn't wear underwear..

Also.... banned for not absconding to the picnic in the park, where you could have retrieved the delish karma, not to mention much needed funds to finance our bid to be the first people to inhabit a centrally heated igloo in central Morroco.

I would give you karma but you were so busy banning that you forgot to excuse yourself from giving me karma.

Also, banned for not giving me karma since the last time or the time after that.

Oh, and that skating rink should be maple walnut flavoured... so that it at least tastes good when skaters end up face first on the ice.

I would give you karma but I've developed an allergy to bestowing gifts of karma on days that begin with S.. T... W... F and M, not to mention in months that begin with J... F... A... M... S... O... N.... and D.

I would give you karma but I dunno that you want to smell me later... I'll be all hot and sweaty after mowing the lawns.

I would give you karma but the petulent figure skater is doing backflips and demanding a personal audience.

I must grant it as she promises a nude rendition of Swan Lake.

I would give you karma but I'm too busy watching my 5th rendition of nude Swan Lake... those... um... pirouettes are mezmerising.

I would give you karma but I howl at the full moon and my extremities become elongated until the unaligned succubus feeds on my chi

I would give you karma but I think Bo vanquished those guys... two sucks and they were gone, after which, Kenzi confiscated their jewlery and Dyson fed on their entrails.

I would give you karma but my family jewels are never displayed in the discount section... and Lost Girl [a Canadian TV show] sends her regards.

I would give you karma but reality TV is the least real thing on the box... Keeping Up With The Kardashians and the like... would rather watch a snail doing donuts [going round in circles]