This is my second attempt at a Demigod, I do not think it is as good as my first but tell me what you think. And as before I appologise for the long story, and the fact that I can not do numbers for the abilities.
Name: The Sentinel (Aldthowine the Sentinel)
Type: Assassin
Alignment: Light
Appearance: Medium build. Shattered, bloody, and broken armor, with arrows lodged in it, that looks like a combination of Gondorian and Dwarven armor (from the LotR films). Holds a halberd that's blade is shaped like a outward facing crescent moon with a star attaching it to the shaft. Has a ragged cloak that bears the same crescent moon and star shape as the halberd has on it. When moving he has an after affect like the Lord Marshall (from Riddick), but looks more like the ghost of an oath-breaker from LotR. As you can tell lots of Lord of the Rings love in the appearance. Uses his halberd to assist in walking like a hiking pole thing.
Strengths: High survivability, Great defender
Weaknesses: Very slow moving, No ranged attacks
Background: (sorry, somewhat rips off Oak and Rook at some parts, realized this after writing it)
Aldthowine the Sentinel, Watcher of the Tower of the Kalikar, grasped at his stomach and muttered, with blood coming from his mouth, "How do I yet live? I have taken enough blows to destroy that which I am sworn to protect." He stared at his hands, coated crimson as if it was their natural color. He looked upon the field and saw that it shared a similar appearance to his hands, the bodies of comrades and foe alike the only thing keeping it from pure crimson.
Aldthowine looked at the religious asylum the Tower used to represent, he saw the bodies of those who came to the tower seeking refuge being flung, devoid of life, from the Tower's peak. The sight of horror he witnessed as the Kalikar's greatest achievement was being used for the exact opposite of its purpose, was too much for him. He remembered the event that caused the Tower's formation; it had been erected as a safe haven by the naturally neutral and peaceful Kalikar during the War of the Crescent and Star, which had seen two religions wage a ruthless war against each other.
Aldthowine thought about the history he had been taught; during the War if it was discovered that your beliefs differed at all you were killed on the spot, no false trial, just sword through the throat so that you could not spread your blasphemy. The Kalikar had been appalled by such a notion for the Kalikar were a people spawned from hermits, exiles, and wanderers, so they never took sides in anything for their past had taught them that bad things came to those that did, and they felt that people should be allowed to believe what they wanted. It had taken years, but the Kalikar eventually erected the Tower of the Kalikar upon the plateau that was the top of Watcher's Mound. The Tower was quickly filled with refugees from villages that had fallen under the gaze of the opposing religions. The leaders of the Kalikar realized that they needed a sort of guard, or army, to keep order and to defend against the armies of those who could not abide another's religion. The Kalikar had prayed to the gods of all religions they knew of, asking for them to send them protection for the refugees. The next day warriors who were wanderers, exiles, and hermits from places unknown found their way to the tower and pledged a simple oath:
"As long as I draw breath, As long as I draw blade,
The sheltered shall draw breath, The sheltered shall draw life."
Oaths were not something taken lightly by the Kalikar, it was said that if you broke your oath to them your soul would be forced to wander the lands until it was redeemed. It was during that thought that Aldthowine heard children screaming, he then dragged himself off the ground and plucked his halberd from the chest of the last foe he had slayed. Aldthowine tried to run to the Tower, but his body would not permit him to do that, the pain caused him to drop to the ground in great agony, he then used his halberd to support himself as he forced his body up the Tower.
He remembered more of the history of the Tower of the Kalikar; that first group of the Watchers came but a moon before the armies of the Star fell upon the Tower, eager to wipe clean the beacon of hope in a sea of dread. It was said that the Watchers were fueled by the might of the gods of both religions for even though the armies of the Star outnumbered the Watchers thirty to one, the Watchers did not lose a single soul during the battle. The Watchers had never been as invincible as they were that day, no matter how much he may have hoped, this was shown to be a horrid fact when he remembered the carnage of the battle that had left every Watcher dead, except for it would seem Aldthowine.
It was now the Ninth War of the Crescent and Star, the Tower's Watchers were still exclusively warriors from places unknown who came upon the Tower, searching for a purpose. It also seemed that after an army was defeaten before the Tower's gaze that the war would end and peace would exist for a year or so. Aldthowine had come upon the tower a decade ago; he had been exiled from his land for falling into a berserker rage during a battle and disobeyed orders when told to retreat, and instead stood and dared the enemy to come forward. When he had come to the Tower it was a day before the armies of the Crescent fell upon the tower during the Eighth War of the Crescent and Star, instead of immediate teaching, Aldthowine volunteered for gate duty. When the armies of the Crescent came upon the tower Aldthowine stood at his position and mowed down all those that would threaten those he had sworn to defend. It was that day that earned Aldthowine the title of the Sentinel, for he held his position like no man before him had, and his berserker rage seemed as though he had channeled the might of the gods just like the first Watchers.
Aldthowine stopped remembering the past to focus on his current scenario. It was then that Aldthowine noticed something about his movements while clawing his way up the vast staircase, there was a lingering visual, not unlike a ghost of him, but where skin showed there was not the flesh of a warrior, but the flesh of a decayed body of a famished, plagued man. Aldthowine was struck with the deepest of fears, and cried out his sacred oath; "No! As long as I draw breath, As long as I draw blade, The sheltered shall draw breath, The sheltered shall draw life!" With renewed vigor he climbed faster and farther up the Tower's imposing innards, needing to fulfill his oath so that his soul may rest.
After struggling his way up the massive stairwell, he saw a group of his foes fighting each other, he then saw the reason; the soldiers were from both the Crescent and the Star. Aldthowine whispered to himself, "could it be that hated enemies forged an alliance to erase the defect of peace from a masterpiece of war?"
His question was answered for him when the butchers stopped fighting each other upon sight of the lone Watcher, their eyes showed that they were shocked to see this man still rise, his armor was so battered it did more harm than good, but most shocking to them was the sight of his ghostly after image. They were apparently familiar with the story of the power of the Kalikar's oaths for a soldier of the Star screamed, "the words of the Kalikar move this Watcher from the beyond!" As they charged at Aldthowine, he made a sweeping motion towards their legs, then he left their crippled bodies behind, he thought that it was the least he could do to leave them suffering.
He heard the children scream again and came upon the room where they were in, he saw that the children were lined in a row and that an officer from the armies of the Star was cutting their throats. Aldthowine charged at the officer with his halberd and impaled him upon it. After removing the corpse from his weapon he told the children, "hide yourselves as well as you can. I will be back, just have faith in that little ones."
Aldthowine made the decision to venture to the peak of the Tower from where he had seen lifeless bodies thrown. It turned out to be the correct choice for he saw that there were adults still alive, even one of the Kalikar elders, the reason he had not heard them was that they had been bound and gagged, although some of them were in such bad condition he doubted they would have been able to scream. There was a small army of soldiers from the armies of both the Crescent and the Star. The intolerant butchers that had caused the suffering did not escape the righteous wrath of the last Watcher, The Sentinel, and thus the Wars of the Crescent and the Stars came to its final conclusion.
Abilities:
Keeper of the Oath - After death the Sentinel will live a very very short while longer (like Oak's Last Stand)and will have greatly increased attack power and greatly increased speed before actual death.
Evil Shall Not Run - The Sentinel does a sweeping attack towards the legs of the enemy causing damage and greatly reducing movement speed.
Fear of the Oath - The Sentinel's appearance strikes fear into enemy minions/reinforcements, slightly reducing all of their statistics.
Keeper of Shelter - The Sentinel becomes restricted to a small area, but has an increase in attack and defense, each hit costs mana
Rush Evil - The Sentinel charges at an enemy Demigod, damages units he hits along the way, causing damage to the Demigod's health and mana
Maintain the Oath - The Sentinel remembers his oath and regenerates health, at the cost of temporarily decreased attack
The Last Watcher - The Sentinel gains greater sight, and delays fog of war
I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read all of the description but I do love a good backstory, I just get a little ADD at times. The moves seem alright, but for an assassain it seems a tad bit underpowered. I feel like it should have some sort of other projectile attack like a spear throw or strong melee hit like bite, maybe instead of the keeper of the shelter.
I kinda meant for The Sentinel to not be so much a Demigod killer, but a demigod who would be able to defend positions.
I like the story, though a tad bit long. He’s kind of like a righteous zombie soldier, interesting concept. The Sentinel has enough diversity to separate from Oak and Rook’s stories. I have to agree with TheWatcher though about the abilities; they’re not powerful enough for an Assassin based character.
Keeper of Shelter sounds a lot like Hold This Ground (how dare you steal ideas from yourself! ) Maintain the Oath should just require The Sentinel to remain idle (like Heart of Life).
As I’ve said before, when you put this much time into the story you should focus just as much on the abilities because that’s what’s going to matter the most. Character fluff is awesome but people throw all that out the window if they don’t find the abilities to be balancing/interesting. This type of character would probably make a better General since he’s all about ‘protecting’ his allies.
Good read overall.
Yeah, I have not played Demigod enough to know what abilites are good, and about stealing from self, I was desperate
I mainly do these for writing the story, I then try to draw abilities from the story. Not such a good plan.
I took into account the comment that maybe he would work better as a general, so there is an ability if he is changed into a general thrown in there. It is pretty much the same abilities just a little tweaked, let me know if I am getting any better at making abilities.
Revised Abilities List:
Keeper of the Oath (passive)- After death The Sentinel will live a bit longer and will have greatly increased attack and attack speed before death.
Evil Shall Not Run - The Sentinel does a sweeping attack towards the legs of his enemies causing damage, slight bleeding damage, and greatly reduced movement speed.
Fear of the Oath (passive) - The Sentinel's appearance strikes fear into his enemies, thus slightly reducing all of their statistics.
Keeper of Shelter (if kept an Assassin) - The Sentinel becomes restricted to an area, but has greatly increased attack and defense, also attacks hit multiple targets now, each hit costs mana.
Separate the Oath-Breaker (if changed to a General) - The sentinel's ghostly afterimage separates from him creating a minion that does the basic attack of The Sentinel, but much weaker of course, and has the Fear of the Oath aura.
Rush Evil - The Sentinel charges at a target stunning and causing damage to health and mana, also units hit during the rush are damaged.
Maintain the Oath - The Sentinel remembers his oath, doing an area attack, and gaining health equal to a portion of the damage caused.
The Last Watcher (passive) - The Sentinel gains greater sight and delays fog of war, also nearby ranged units gain range.
Hmm, well kind hard to comment on it since the abilities are (if changed to General) and (if kept Assassin), you’ve got to pick what this guy should be. Separate the Oath-Breaker sounds cool though, been thinking of how to implement a character which can essentially ‘multiply’, As it stand his moves still seem more Assassin oriented. Always struggled with abilities, yes?
Yes, I always have, I think trying to come up with abilities took longer to do than the stories, because I just could not think of any, not that the ones I do eventually put are any good.
Nah, your abilities are cool, just lack the upgrade info like what they do each level.
Well, Edge, two things:
1. I am horrible at math
2. Unfortunately, when I do play Demigod I do not really pay much attention to the numbers, so I do not really have a basis to go by.
So, that is why they do not have numbers, or it could be that I am just lazy, you never know.
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