Chuck Norris can defeat a fully upgraded starbase with a colony vessel.
Female Advent have hot voices to seduce Chuck Norris. It is not gonna work.
Last time Advent meteor-stormed Chuck Norris, he stroke back with a planet-storm.
Pirates don't accept bounty for Chuck Norris. They prefer commiting suicide.
Chuck Norris can stop a blast from a Novalith Cannon with his left hand.
Chuck Norris have never been minidumped.
A classic one : The vasari are running away from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris have more karma than Annatar11
One day, Chuck Norris took a Missile Barrage from a Marza. He blinked.
In a gravity well, there is 1278 objects that Chuck Norris could use to annihilate your fleet, including the gravity well.
Chuck Norris can move his fleet whereever he wants, and it is often in your face.
Where Chuck Norris goes, mines steps aside.
The Antorak and Egg's Commanding Officers sound so raspy because that's all the effort they have after they had a run-in with Norris.
Did I mention that both their collective bodies had to be put into 328 separate jars each for all the pieces that were LEFT?
Chuck Norris can kill a swarm of volitile nanites with a 12 gauge shotgun and a squadron of bombers with a bottle of hairspray and cigarette lighter.
No, wait, that’s MacGuyver. Chuck Norris can do both with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris is not chasing the Vasari; something else was, but he killed it 9,999 years and 11 months ago; he just destroys the Vasari signal beacons for sport.
Chuck Norris’s abilities cost negative antimatter; using them causes him to gain more.
You know when you’re going full nuclear holocaust on the enemy home world and population is at 1/XXX? Guess who that one person is.
And a favorite of mine from the Starcraft 2 forums:
One day, Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick a ball of red matter and cause the entire universe to implode.
That's funny, considering I've watched ships wander way outside of a gravity well (one ship I think got a good ways towards another system) due to certain circumstances. Nothing seemed to happen.
thats because Chuck wanted it to happen
Ah, of course. Silly me.
So does this also mean he finished the campaign for all Civilization games, all Master of Orion games, and even Colonization, Alpha Centauri, Space Empires series, Spaceward Ho!, Reach for the Stars... Oh, and Ascendancy, for those who remember it...
Chuck Norris has his own micro economy, allowing him to trade with himself to gain resources.
Chuck Norris has already finished programming/debugging his own version of Diplomacy, its called Chuckomacy, and you can guess where im going with this.
The Diplomacy Envoy Cruiser is invulnerable because each ship has one of Chuck Norris body hairs contained within the hull of the ship
Chuck Norris doesnt move through Space. Space moves for Chuck Norris.
The Vasari thought they could bottle a Chuck Norris Round House Kick in a bottle, they were wrong, their now running from the aftermath of their grave mistake.
The Advent dont answer to the Unity, They answer to Chuck Norris's Awesomeness.
The Trade Order was given two options, War with the Vasari, or A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.........the Trade Order chose wisely.
Chuck Norris holds the record for quickest win ever. INSTANT WIN.
When Chuck Norris plays against the AI, The AI automatically surrenders.
Chuck Norris can update the game without using Impulse.
The Vasari became masters of phase space because they thought Chuck Norris couldn't reach phase space. Chuck Norris simply round-house kicked phase space hard enough to produce PJIs.
Chuck Norris doesnt need broadcast centers, his awesomeness spreads across the galaxy instantly.
The Advent Starbase has a special room with an open-to-space window with a single chair. the sign outside the room says it is called the Meteor Storm Room.
The Advent Meteor Shower room is where Chuck Norris sits with a straw and shoots spit balls at enemy planets and fleets
Chuck Norris can beat up The Unity.
No, Chuck Norris IS the Unity.He decides who stays unified or not.
my favorite two.
If you have a 1000 Credits, and Chuck Norris has 1000 credits, Chuck Norris has more credits than you.
If you have a Kol, and Chuck Norris has a Kol, RUN!
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris doesnt perform research, he already knows everything.
Chuck Norris has won SOASE games with a Construction Frigate rush. Numerous times.
Chuck Norris is what the Vasari developed in the Kron Research Facility, and they've been running ever since...
All research structures are simply means by which the races can communicate with Chuck Norris and allows them to receive the technologies He decides to give them.
Novalith Cannons are based on a Chuck Norris Round House Kick.
jajajajajajajajaj, lol
Actually they were based on his stare. The last species that tried to copy his signatire roundhouse kick were the Forerunners from Halo. They Failed Miserably.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick has the affect of a Novalith, Deliverance Weapon, and Kostura on a planet. And that's when he's not trying hard.
Why is Diplomacy the final micro-expansion? 'Cause the next one will have Chuck Norris in it so it needs to be MEGA
Why are the Vasari running like fugitives? Because Walker Texas Ranger is on their case.
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