You know you are addicted to technology when...
You can't sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends", but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
In computer shops, you eavesdrop on a salesman talking with customers, butt in to correct him and spend 20 minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesman stands by silently, nodding his head.
You say "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels saying it.
You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say "digital compression". Everyone understands what you mean and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
You say "voice number" instead of "phone number" as the majority of phone lines in any house are linked to contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
You back up your data every day.
On holiday, you read a computer manual and turn the pages faster than those who read John Grisham novels.
You go to trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you can't give someone directions to your house without looking up street names.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
You understand all these jokes.
If so, technology has taken over your life. We suggest you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
Not really... but it came out rewound ready for the next time.
I tried doing cheese on toast in the popup toaster once... which I thought was a peculiar name and false advertising. Blasted thing never popped up at all, so I took it back and demanded a refund.
Everyone knows they're only for melting cheese, starkers!
He doesn't need cheese Doc. Cheese causes constipation, and a blockage in Starkers could have disasterous results. Unless we use a little techology and attach a hose hookup to his naval and start filling cars with crude methane. At least Goodna's fuel problems will be solved.
Guess i qualify for addicted to technology,hands down an addict
Ah, now I understand why mrs starkers calls cheese 'blockhole'
That's true starkers, I heard it binds your stomach..or..something.. meh, I'm not giving up my swiss cheese, and I'm NOT quitting on cooking it to perfection in my DVD player.. after all, that's what it's for.. right?
No, you use the Blu-ray player for cheese and the standard player for pizza. Because cheese is made of more 'stuff', you'll need a more powerful player which can read all of the 'stuff'. Even if a standard player could cook cheese, it would become contaminated with the melted cheese and it wouldn't work.
I'm never getting Blueray, I'm sick of all the damn upgrades, 1 DVD player should be able to cook ALL kinds of toast!
Toast?? Toast had nothing to do with it! But go ahead, I just love to see people fail miserably.
p.s. the updates for Blu-ray should render the older player obselete with time, so... up your USB port! (joking, man)
You shouldn't have any constipatrion worries with Swiss cheese... the holes help reduce the binding effect, tho the air in the holes could pose a gas problem if you eat too many of 'em.
Movies?
Again with the gas
Nope... STILL @ it!!!!
You know you're addicted to technology when you 1 y/o grandson punches you in the nuts after trying for several hours to wrestle from you a remole controlled car HE got for Xmas.
Great one!
You know you're addicted to technology when you wake up with a hangover, but then find yourself surrounded by stripped motherboards.
You may also be addicted to technology when you start seeing '0100010100111000101001100' repeat itself in your vision, probably brought on by all that iPod downloading.
You're addicted to tech when you try to take the kid to Disneyworld and THIS happens:
You know you're addicted to technology when you've managed to discover Impulse!! Or find that image...
lol Doc, awesome pic
You know you're addicted to technology when the airport scanner goes off and they find a Sony Playstation; a laptop; an Xbox; a DVD player; a 12' LCD TV, remotes, half a dozen gamesand hand controls in your suitcase... but no clothes.
You also know when technology has gone too far when you're you're in Tandy and see an electronic condom roller on'er.
Who or what is a "Tandy"?
Tandy Electronics, Aussie store Doc
Actually, Tandy Electronics is American/US owned... Oz stores are just franchises, though I think Woolworths own quite a few, if not most... same with Dick Smith Electronics, Woolies owns them.
You know you're addicted to technology when you been arrested several times for 'deliberately' getting locked in Tandy Electronics with all the latest gadgets overnight... and know for sure you will be again.
Woolies owns Dicks? hehe that's too weird
starkers, I thought Japan owned most of Australia, they're turning it into one big golf course
Yup, you'd be surprised at just what/how much Woolies owns... it has spread its onerous wings into just about every corner of the retail market: groceries; electronics; fuel; alcohol; clothing; medicinals; optometry; real estate; entertainment; fitness and training, etc, etc. I worked for Woolies as a nightfill manager for a while, but told 'em to shove it because I vehemently disagree with its pricing and profiteering policies... the fact that the pay farmers rock bottom prices for their produce and mark it up anywhere between 400% and 900%... the fact that it drives small business competitors (butchers and greengrocers in particular) out of business with insanely low prices then raises them again to insane highs when the competition is squashed.
Worse still, Woolies is killing off our farmers with its predatory buying/pricing policies. My brother-in-law down in Tassie is a sheep farmer who used to supply Woolies with lamb, but their policies have all but put him out of business and he's struggling to keep his head above water. They were buying ALL his lamb for $1.39 per kilo and selling it anything up to $18 - $19 a kilo, and when he asked for a better price they told him to go get stuffed and terminated the contract, leaving him with lamb he can not sell because there are too few (if any) local buyers due to being driven ourt of business by Woolies' predatory pricing. The sad thing is that Denny is only one of thousands of our farmers being forced off the land, not through drought or mortgage foreclosures, but by Woolworths greed.
The US owns more of Oz than the Japanese... in fact, the US probably owns more of Australia (business-wise) than Aussies do.
You know you're addicted to technology when you hunt for a gadget that tells you which products are Australian owned AND made when you're out shopping.... sadly, they are becoming fewer and fewer by the week/month.
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