You know you are addicted to technology when...
You can't sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends", but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
In computer shops, you eavesdrop on a salesman talking with customers, butt in to correct him and spend 20 minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesman stands by silently, nodding his head.
You say "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels saying it.
You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say "digital compression". Everyone understands what you mean and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
You say "voice number" instead of "phone number" as the majority of phone lines in any house are linked to contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
You back up your data every day.
On holiday, you read a computer manual and turn the pages faster than those who read John Grisham novels.
You go to trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you can't give someone directions to your house without looking up street names.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
You understand all these jokes.
If so, technology has taken over your life. We suggest you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
- she should get the one that you can plug into your computer's usb port to recharge it's batteries and it also allows you to also download updates for it (different moves, vibration patterns, etc.)
.... ooops... I've said to much
double post, darn I hate when that happens!
LOL, unclerob! USB B US !
Yep, you sure have... she's looking over my shoulder and thinking:" Hmmmmm!!!!!"
That wasn't her making the "hmmmm" sound, mate.
Sorta reminds me of the woman who went to the doctor with a vibrator firmly wedged in her... er, well, you get the picture.
Anyhow, he asks her to jump up on the examination table so he can assess the situation: "I'm very sorry m' dear, but this is going to require surgery to remove it."
"Remove it hell, I just came in so you could change the damned batteries.!!!"
You know you're addicted to technology when you go into a novelty store for one of those 'handshake zappers' to masturbate with.
Not reimbursable, I'm afraid. Shocking, but true.
You know you're addicted to technology when you remember the batteries, but forget the milk and bread!
You know your addicted when your computer room has eight outlets, each outlet has two plug-in strips, each strip is full so you jump another strip off one of them and so forth until a breaker pops.
Hey, is this weird, I opened up my tower, and noticed my cpu was the perfect size to hold a shotglass.. now if I could only devise something that could hook bourbon up, so it auto fills the glass, then an elevation system that lifts it to D drive, and auto ejects.. since my power button is about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.. maybe that could be my refill button?
What, the scouring novelty shops for a handshake zapper to... um, make it more envigorating when you shake hands with the 'unemployed'?
Yeah, I can understand that... being a doctor n' all, you'd have first hand knowledge of those heart starter contrapshuns they keep in hospitals for cardiac arrests, and thus would apply the same logic to an arrested and flaccid member.
You know your doctor is addicted to technology when his stethoscope has a built-in iPhone and internet connection.
Hmmm...........................ah, did I say that out loud?
lol starkers, my doctor is always asking me to build him a website
My doctor is always asking me to turn my head and cough... wouldn't be so bad if he didn't have that cold bionic hand.
You know your doctor's receptionist is addicted to technology when she says that you're 'logged in' and will be uploaded sooner if your condition deteriorates... and: "While you're waiting, would you please download a stool sample."
hehehe So a transfusion would be a download I guess
Speaking of technology. Gas is back down under $2.00 per gallon, so why does an 10-12 oz. can of compressed air to blow out my tower cost 8 bucks?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........
Now, turn yer head to the left and cough:
Hmmm, so I'm guessing a 'specimen' would also be a download... unless you're doing a handstand.
Angus, me old mate.... don't spend that kind of money to blow out your tower... just get stuck into the curried cabbage, mate, and for those tricky corners, a piece of 5/16" plastic tubing does the trick. Oh, and a smear of Vaseline.
Ah, food for thought, was it??
Now I'm curious! Why does my doctor always say: "Now turn you head to the right?" Could it have something to do with wearing tight underpants and the pressure traveling up my spine?
You know your cab driver is addicted to technology when... he is listening to the races on his iPod, and watching 'Days of Our Lives' on his cigarette powered portable TV.
Hope he never wants a stool sample, no way this chairs gonna fit in one o' dem yellow cups
It's because a) you are built weird and you are in Oz and bass ackwards.
Fit in the cup?
How the hell did it get in the other place (the antecedant place) and how the hell are you gonna get it out?
Doc, stool = chair, ahh you're messin' with me [acts dumb and starts gurgling]
Hehehehe! That reminds me of the time when I was in the Ipswich Hospital and was handed one of those 'bottles' and asked to provide a 'sample' The nurse was new on the ward and I thought that I'd take the liberty of yanking her chain a little: "Hey nurse, I am a special needs patient and you're going to have to bring me a much bigger bottle than that... much, much bigger!!!"
With that I got a rather curious look and: "Are you telling me that you are overly well endowed and that 'it' won't fit in the neck??"
Oh, no, no, no, nurse, not at all. It's just that I only pee once a week... and today is the day."
'Ere, I resembles that remark about my assembly. Dr Frank did his best with the available parts at the time. I must admit, tho, I do resent the brother he made me... he got made better looking than me and had all those movie parts playing the monster because of it. Those parts should have been mine, I tell ya, MINE!! Apart from being way, way funnier, I could read my lines and respond with more than a grunt or three. It just goes to show... looks aren't everything.
You know you're addicted to technology when you make weekly visits to your doctor for a new implant.
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