Sinners
***Sinners has been discontinued. See last page for details.***
Sinners is currently (as of Febuary 15)...172 pages!
Part 2 HAS BEGUN! Here's the teaser for those of you who haven't seen it yet, or would like to be reminded of what's to come.
Part 2: Destruction
Teaser
Kol:
captured by the vicious Mani'k, can Kol escape from the Vasari before he himself is turned into one of the Vasari? And even if he can manage to escape, the Guild of Marksmen is out there, looking for him...
Archie:
Sent back to his home planet to solve a streak of murders committed by a close friend, will he join the murderer? Or will he pay the ultimate sacrifice?
Zeke:
Forever battling for control of his body, Zeke's psionic powers are growing stronger, and Alfr'eda is growing frightened. Can a Silent One rejoin the Unity? What would that mean for her? In the meantime, there are Sinners to purge. But her next target may be the most difficult and dangerous yet....The Prime Chancellor himself.
Jessica:
After the great Admiral Kol mysteriously disappears, Jessica steps up to pick up the empty seat of power. But others want the coveted Admiral position as well, and they will stop at nothing to get it. Does the "female Kol" have what it takes to reach Admiralty without the powers of a Marksman? Or will she just be a listing in the number of dead as the contestants fight to the death--for some of them--literally?
Veronica:
Her power taken away "indefinitely" by Haiti, she is forced to hide herself as one of the Vasari's Mani'k. Will her loyalty to the Unity remain strong enough to do what she must with the human prisoner? Or will she help Kol escape to rebel against Haiti in the only pitiful, desperate way she can? And if she aides the terran, will Kol return the sympathy or will he himself capture her?
Agent Karridan:
An Advent spy sent to the Trader worlds to discreetly scout out psionically-active humans that could be spared the destruction of the Reemergence, he hears rumors of a mysterious and deadly killer, and finds himself strangely intrigued. Sneaking into a recent crime scene, Karridan notices a faint psionic residue, and immediately stashes himself in Archie Kol's team as they hunt the murderer. The resulting explosion when he comes into contact with Zeke and Alfr'eda? A thousand suns undergoing supernova will not compare.
Professor Newman:
Working himself near to exhaustion, trying furiously to complete his project before command shuts him down, Newman is running out of time. For himself and for the TEC. Will he succeed? Welcome to the Novalith Project.
Sinners on Blogspot:
http://cisinners.blogspot.com/
odd double-post. my bad.
just letting you know we are still watching. when are we getting more? just kidding, work at your own pace, CI. we understand. kind of
incidentally, how long is sinners currently? i was thinking about this the other day while i was writing my book, just in terms of the progress i was making
Yeah I'm sorry I've been super busy with school work and everything, haven't had time to write Sinners OR my actual novel that i hope to publish! (insert sadness for me here)
But Sinners has been going on for almost a year now (November 28 will be the reunion!). Just a tad of info there.
Sinners is currently:
143 pages long, including a title page and table of contents (which i think is 2 pages now). there is no new page given for each new chapter, so in a normal book id say sinners is at least 150-160, maybe more my head math isn't too great. 52,301 words. It's 12 chapters of three parts each, with two parts in chapter 12 so far. I hope that's enough info for you! (cause I could go on haha.)
i dont particularly care about character count
what is your novel about?
Um it's in the beginning stages right now.......but its fantasy not sci-fi.
people with the ability to use magic in the present day, pretty much. high school age.
and of course the immortal battle between the Igram and the Stefari over the keys to the Watcher's prison.
pretty basic, but not even done with the first chapter. sinners takes up most of my attention when i actually have time to sit down and write.
i had a friend who was going to write a similar story a few years back, but he scrapped it. inspired me to write, however. in three years, i have parts of six chapters written, and about 25 pages written (12000 words). testament to my work ethic, i guess. and it is scifi
One thing. When you mentioned scientist near the end there, I think you meant someone else. Probably meant a medic or doctor or something, because, one scientist sounds wrong, and two, what the hell would they be doing on the ship? I guess to monitor the ships special systems, but sounds like engineers and that one guy could do that. Don't remember his name. But typically, the type of scientist I envisioned when you went throught that part would not be on a ship that would presumably leave for battle very soon. I guess maybe for a last minute check, but then again engineers could probably check that. Sorry, just think you meant someone else. Scientist just didn't sound right acording to the context.
The scientist isn't on the ship, he's on the space station orbiting the asteroid Matsuda 1.
https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/366855 <--- another reason why new Sinners material has not come
thats really awesome, though i dont have time to read it right now
The next chapter continuing the introduction to the Advent (a new Chapter 2, part 3, working title: THE FAMILY) is coming soon. Not this weekend cause im going to be out, but this coming week. Just letting everyone know that i AM doing things
If you haven't yet, read the new chapter 2, part 2, Colonizable Planet Discovered. I believe it is on the first page of this thread, near the bottom.
why does it make them years ahead? they havent even discovered phase space, as far as he knows
edit: in case you didnt realize, that was from the revised chapter 2 part 2
so, i really liked the revised chapter. a few things, though. one, why are they only sending a colony ship to a hostile world? shouldnt it be escorted? part of a fleet? especially if the planet they are going to is so important. a fleet, led by an admiral would be much more likely. and the admiral would make first contact, of course. though this is 1000 years ago, they probably did not have protevs. other than that, it was very good
trader lore says war became only a thing found in legend and myth. im assuming the nonmember planets wouldn't capture a diplomatic vessel, too . And as for pirates, the ship was traveling in mostly Trader-controlled space. no pirates there.
Think of a third-world country city to a first-world country city. You can tell that one of them is years ahead of the other. sorta the same thing happening here.
EDIT: he's only talking in terms of the city too, not their aptitude in space. that was a little unclear tho.
sorry, i have to disagree. humans being what we are, i have to think that our natural arrogance would lead us to believe that we were light-years ahead of them, because they werent in space yet.
and as to the diplomatic mission, those are usually conducted with much fanfare. a single protev isnt showing that they care too much about that mission. perhaps a fleet of protevs (or similar diplomatic ship) would make more sense
Protevs can carry 500 people...certainly enough to show the nonmember planet that they are worth the Trade Order's time.
But I can't agree with you on the human arrogance thing. Here are the steps that led to meeting the Advent, or "Family."
1.) T.O. finds an unknown, heavily colonized planet. T.O. could still be superior.
2.) Psychic attack hits the ship. T.O. is disoriented and confused.
3.) Unknown entity hacks into secure T.O. radio transmissions and makes contact with the T.O. ship. T.O. are confused and wary.
4.) Unknown ships fly into space and escort the T.O. ship to the planet's surface. T.O. catches a glimpse of a HUGE metropolitan city, larger than any city in the T.O. The very style of the city and its buildings leads the T.O. to believe this unknown entity is years ahead of them (at least in planet infrastructure.)
5.) T.O. planet is lowered below the ground. T.O. is in slight shock.
6.) Unknown entity's ships fly back up the hole and go away. T.O. believes the unknown entity is superior in its ship design because they have constructed ships that can fly through a planet's atmospher and survive, but can also fly in deep space, as seen when the ships came to escort the T.O. ship.
7.) T.O. learns to call the unknown entity "The Family."
EDIT: i think about 50-100 of the Protev's crew serve as DPP's (Diplomatic Prestige Persons). maybe 150 at a stretch.
The new Chapter 2, part 3: The Family is completed. You can find it at the top of page 2 of this thread.
There has also been some slight changes to Chapter 2, part 2. There's no need to reread it, I'll just summarize the changes here. Instead of Portugal Lee Gibbings having glowing eyes (as the Advent do) when Harrison first meets him, his eyes are normal. The Advent, when they are not using PsiTech, have normal eyes. Their eyes glow pure white in varying degrees depending on the amount of PsiTech they are using. So in the story the characters do not know that the Family's eyes glow. This makes the last sentence in Chapter 2, part 3 more significant.
Also, the old Chapter 2, part 3 (Invasion) had to be deleted to make room for the new one. It is now Chapter 3, part 1, but I have not updated this thread's Chapter 3, part 1. I will update all the chapters once I am done adding in the Advent introduction chapters, so I don't have to redo every chapter after the Chapter 2 parts every time I add a new one. So Invasion is currently off the thread, and the next few will soon be as I add new Advent pieces. But they will return once the chapter numbers have stopped moving around.
Be sure to read the new Chapter 2, part 3!
For those of you still following....
there will be a new chapter appearing on November 11th. Veteran's Day, if you didn't know. It will highlight the Trader traditions on this day, known to them as Survival Day.
sounds cool
it'd better, seeing as ur my only remaining fan
Survival Day has been changed to Survivor's Day, and the two-part chapter will appear later today. I had to split it into two chapter because it was getting too long for one change, hence the delay in posting. But it will appear today. The two chapters are now called Survivor's Day Eve and Survivor's Day.
ALSO in Survivor's Day we have the new appearance of one of my teaser characters....Jessica Doremi. Ever wondered how she met Kol? Here is your answer.
Chapter 13, part 1Survivor's Day Eve
The Trader Emergency Coalition
8 years ago, Inner Sector, western rim, galactic position 940, 945, planet christened "Matsuda 1"
The TDN Golgonev hummed with a quiet energy as the multitude of technicians stationed on Matsuda 1 scurried around the ship, checking over everything one last time. They caressed the smooth steel of the hull fondly, as if saying farewell to their child. Kol watched them with a small smile. On his right, Warrant Officer Richard Higgins had much the same expression as he watched the technicians work. On Kol's left, Warrant Officer Falc Sivvers shifted impatiently. "Can we not leave, Commodore?" He asked Kol stiffly. Kol frowned at him. "Have patience son, they're making sure the ship is fit to go out into space." Sivvers tsked and Kol had to restrain himself from slapping the man. "Have you forgotten, sir? We must be at Matsuda Prime by 24:00, or we will all very easily be demoted. Even you, sir." "And why must we be there at such a specific time?" Kol asked through clenched teeth. What could he say? The man's very manner irritated him beyond belief. "Tomorrow is the eleventh, sir," Sivvers pointed out in his infuriatingly calm manner, "and that means that it is Survivor's Day." Kol blinked in surprise. "Survivor's Day?" On Kol's other side, Higgins shifted uncomfortably. "That amnesia still on full-swing, Commodore?" He asked. Kol looked at them both. "What's Survivor's Day?" Sivvers sighed. "It is the day when we first realized we could survive the Vasari assault. Perhaps you remember it as Veteran's Day?" "That name does ring a bell..." Kol said slowly. "It was named such for several millennia, sir," Sivvers said smoothly. "It has become a very important ritual for the Trader people, the civilians especially. They need to be reminded of the cause, the battle above their heads, if you will. That's all you really need to know now, sir. The Coalition's transmission at 24:00 to the entire Trade Order always gives a more detailed history of the day. Suffice to say, it is important enough for an entire TEC fleet to phase in at Matsuda Prime so we can be part of the ceremonies." Kol turned to Higgins, who shrugged. "That's pretty much the gist of it, Commodore," Higgins said. "He's right, that's all you really need to know, and it looks like the techies are done." He pointed to the Golgonev, where the head technician was standing by the entrance. "All right," sighed Kol, giving in. "Let's get aboard. And celebrate this damned Survivor's Day." "Commodore?" The head technician stepped forward as the trio approached the ship. "If I may have a word..." The technician took Kol aside. "Sir, we have not found any traces of suspicious activity anyway in our systems. However these men assaulted you and the Major, they did not breach our systems." Kol looked at him flatly. "Unless..." the head technician said reluctantly, "unless they managed to break through all of our security measures. Which are state-of-the-art! I don't believe that is a viable solution, Commodore. There must have been another way." "Save me the speech," Kol said wearily, "tell me about the Golgonev. Is she ready?" "Oh she is more than that sir!" Said the head technician enthusiastically, glad to be away from the subject of intruders. "I could go over all of the technical data, but I know you are not very interested in such things." Kol bobbed his head in agreement. "I believe whole-heartedly that you will love her, Commodore." "Thank you, son," Kol said, clapping his hand on the technician's shoulder. "You did a really great job here, you really did. I appreciate all you've done for me." "Oh sir," the technician flushed. "It was nothing sir, really. Nothing at all. It was a privilege meeting you." Kol saluted, and the technician joyously saluted back. As Kol walked onto his ship, he thought only one thing. That guy has one hell of a lonely job. Fifteen minutes later, the TDN Golgonev was traveling through a shimmering phase lane, headed towards the red sun in the center of the system, Matsuda Prime. Kol looked at the timer someone had erected on a view screen. 23:27. Thirteen minutes to the start of Survivor's Day. The Tensions of the Present. Few have survived, and few will survive. The tensions of the present will confront you, and try to turn you from your path. Do not let them. Honor to your forefathers. "Sir, estimated arrival to Matsuda is three minutes." Kol started and looked wildly around. The officer who had spoken looked at him, bewildered. "Are you...all right, Commodore?" "I'm..." Kol scrubbed furiously at his ear. "I'm fine. I just thought I heard something. Three minutes you said?" "Three minutes, sir." Kol nodded, still rubbing his ear. Judman came over to him. "Is it like before, Kol?" He asked in a low whisper. Kol nodded again. "The same message?" "Yes...no. It was similar, but it was different. The first one said something about the past...this one was talking about the present." "What did they say specifically?" Kol shook his head. "I can't remember." "Well, you remember I'm here for you." Judman laid a hand on Kol's shoulder. "Sir," he added with a wink. The Golgonev rumbled and the overhead lights flickered. "We have come out of phase space at Matsuda Prime!" An attendant called. "Friendly fleet identified! Adjusting course to connect." "Establishing a video feed with primary contact ship now, sir." Judman clapped Kol on the back. "Are you ready to meet the divine assassin?" Kol looked at him, utterly confused. "What?" "You didn't know? Oh, of course you didn't." The main view screen fizzed as the video feed connected and automatically adjusted configurations at both ends. "Allow me to introduce Captain Jessica Doremi, known as the divine assassin for both her beauty and her prowess at destroying pirate and now Vasari fleets. You won't find another woman like her in the TEC." The view screen beeped and words began scrolling across the screen. Direct link established. Beginning transmission. "Go get 'em," Judman whispered in Kol's ear before giving him a push forwards. Kol sat at the view screen's console with a determined expression on his face. He looked over to the technician handling the console, who nodded. Kol took a deep breath and pressed the yellow connect button. The woman who appeared on the screen was so beautiful she stole Kol's breath away.
Chapter 13, part 2Survivor's Day
8 years ago, Inner Sector, western rim, galactic position 890, 932, star christened "Matsuda Prime"
Jessica Doremi looked curiously at the man who was considered almost a god with his skill in battle. He certainly didn't look intimidating. Her view screen portrayed a middle-aged man with a dazed expression on his face. At seeing her? Most likely. Many man couldn't have a straight conversation with her without eyeing her like she was some sort of sparkling trinket. Inwardly, Jessica shuddered. She had hoped Alexander Kol wouldn't be one of those men. "Commodore!" She said in a fake big grin. "It is such a pleasure to finally meet you." "You flatter me too much, Captain," Kol said modestly, saluting Jessica. "You honor me." Cheesy, was Jessica's first thought. This man could do better than that. "As is Survivor's Day custom, will you permit me to board your ship? So we can celebrate the festivities together." That threw Jessica off. So direct? No man would dream of scoring with her on such a terrible line. Unless Kol was the first man to look past her good looks and see the woman inside? No, that was Jessica's heart crying out. He didn't even know her. "Yes," said Jessica, surprising herself. "I would like that very much." Kol lined up military fashion, with Judman on his right and Higgins on his left. Across the hallway, the shuttle bay doors opened and ten marines streamed out. Seeing the hallway secure and Kol standing in front of them, they saluted while alerting the fact to those still in the shuttle. Kol felt his stomach twist in anticipation. No, it wasn't anticipation, it was fear. What was he fearing? He certainly wasn't afraid of the Captain, even if she was the most beautiful creature he had ever set eyes on. Kol forced himself out of his reverie and watched as the real woman stepped lightly across the hallway from the shuttle doors, smiling as she approached. She came up to Kol and saluted. "Captain Jessica Doremi, appearing as ordered, sir." Kol grabbed her hand and shook it. "It's a real honor getting to meet you, Captain." Did Jessica blush faintly? Kol couldn't be sure. "Why thank you, Commodore, but I must say the honor is mine. Who'd have thought I'd be on the newest Kol in the market, with the hero of the TEC welcoming me aboard?" Kol let out a rich laugh. "Well when you put it that way...allow me to escort you to the command bridge." Jessica waved her marine squad back and took Kol's outstretched arm. "They say they're here for security, but I think it's to make sure you don't get too familiar with me without my permission." "Your crew is that dedicated to you?" Kol was surprised. Jessica just shrugged and gave a tiny mysterious smile. They entered the command bridge. As if on cue, loud trumpet noises came out of the speakers. Kol looked around confused and Jessica clapped her hands and laughed. "It's about to begin! Oh, this is my favorite time of year." Kol merely nodded, not trusting himself to speak with his current limited knowledge of the holiday. From the speak came a grizzled, steady voice that Kol recognized as Jason Kantoon, the Prime Chancellor of the Trade Order. "Ladies and gentleman of the Trade Order!" Jason Kantoon shouted as if commentating a wrestling match. "Today is the last day of the old year, which means..." A drum roll sounded out on the speakers. "That today is Survivor's Day!" Jessica noticed Kol's expression and laughed again. "It's cheesy, I know, but the civilians love it. It reminds them of a simpler time, when we were not at war." Before Kol could respond Kantoon was talking again. "We have today's special celebration coming up in a moment...but right now I'd like to give a little history lesson on the origins of Survivor's Day." "Tradition," said Jessica, rolling her eyes. "As if anyone didn't know how today's holiday began." Kol mumbled something incoherent. "Exactly 3 years ago, the Vasari first appeared in Trader-controlled space. We lost thousands that day. Millions. But the butchery was far from over. Planet after planet...billions of lives were stolen by the alien demons." Kol saw Jessica wipe a tear from her eye. "My parents were on a western frontier planet," she explained, dabbing at her eye with her shirt sleeve, "they were among the first to be attacked." "A year went by, and hope looked weak. The Vasari continued mercilessly deeper inside Trader space. Another year went by, and we lost hope of ever beating them back. "But in that year something happened. Something extraordinary. A ragtag fleet of ships had been assembled in the Central Worlds and had launched towards the Vasari near the time when they first appeared. During their long journey to the ever expanding front lines more ships joined them, and with the development of capital ships came the Kol 1.0, and under those origional three mighty warships our fleet was assembled. Our last hope. This fleet became known as the 305 Hopeful, as 305 were the first three numbers of the battle's galactic position. The 305 Hopeful readied themselves to push the Vasari back, and a twenty hour-long battle ensued. We lost many ships in that battle, and many men too. But do you know what? We won. We beat back the Vasari. And a large part of that was due to one man. The current Commodore Alexander Kol." Kol's mouth worked silently, and Jessica laughed. "Alexander Kol flew his fighter straight at the enemy's main capital ship and lodged it inside the hull. Stumbling from the wreckage, Kol fought his way through the entire ship until he got to their command bridge, where he killed their leader and disabled the rest of the ship. If Alexander Kol hadn't done what he did, yes we would have still beaten back the Vasari, but we would have been no closer to studying them or understanding how their ships functioned. Our scientists on-site expected to have to study our enemy from charred space rubble. Alexander Kol brought them an intact Vasari capital ship. "If it wasn't for this man, we might not be where we are today. Today we have hope, and today we are bringing the fight back to the Vasari. We are taking back conquered worlds and expanding the western frontier once more. Only a year ago, we had lost hope. Today, we have hope. We are not the broken, not the lost, not the resigned. We are the survivors, and we will make the Vasari pay for the atrocities they have committed." There was a long pause during which Kol felt the significance of the Prime Chancellor's words hanging in the air. "Now, let us celebrate Survivor's Day. That will be all." The speakers clicked off for a moment before inter-ship communications was reestablished. "Permission to begin Survivor's Day sequences, Commodore?" Sergeant Cooldred Daniels said over the speakers. "Permission granted, Sergeant. Proceed immediately," Kol replied, unsure at what the cannon specialist had to do with the day's festivities. Judman must have seen his confused expression and came quickly over. "Do not be alarmed at what you're about to see," he whispered into Kol's ear. "What?" Kol started to say, but the friendly Cobalt next to the Golgonev started warming up their weapons, and Kol never finished his sentence. He started forward, but Judman held him back. "Relax, Alex, everything's fine," he whispered. "It's part of the celebrations." Kol watched as the Cobalt frigate fired on his TDN Golgonev. Kol noticed several odd things about what happened next. First, the round was a ball of plasma that seemed to be exhibiting multi-colored sparks as it traveled. Second, the plasma ball bounced off the Golgonev's shields without damaging them and spiraled off towards another ship. Kol then noticed that the other ships were firing similar multi-colored balls, and finally he noticed that his own ship was firing the same balls. "Best space fireworks this side of everywhere," Judman said with a grin. He clapped Kol on the back. "Time to get back to your lady friend?" Kol gave Judman an annoyed look, but he did return to Jessica, who was watching the plasma balls give off their sparks with something close to wonder. Kol, however, couldn't feel the joy. The fear that he had felt when Jessica exited the shuttle bay had come back tenfold. He gripped his stomach as it turned into actual physical pain. "Commodore?" He heard Jessica say, and felt her arms go around him. "Kol, what's the matter?" Kol realized he was lying on the floor, curled up and clutching his stomach. "I..." the pain exploded out of his stomach and he retched. Dimly through the vomit he noticed that Jessica did not step away or shriek like he expected a normal woman would. Instead she helped Judman get him to his feet. She did let Judman wipe Kol's mouth, however. "Easy there, Commodore," Judman murmured in a low tone. "Let's get you back to your quarters." "Carry on with the festivities!" Jessica called as she followed Kol and Judman out of the command bridge. Kol smiled slightly as he imagined the looks of incredulity and shock as a Captain gave orders to a Commodore's command staff. But that made him feel sicker so he soon stopped. "Judman?" He heard himself murmur. "Yes, Commodore?" Judman answered tentatively. He wasn't acting at all familiar with another person near them, and one that was nearly a stranger at that. "Judman, you can talk with her around," Kol continued laboriously, "Judman...this is from the messages. I know it's related to the messages." "The messages?" Judman shifted his weight to better support Kol and glanced quickly at Jessica. "How do you know that?" "I just...do." "What messages?" Jessica asked. "What are you two talking about?" "The Commodore has heard two clear messages while no one around him has heard a thing. We believe they are somehow related to the Vasari due to the underlying hissing of the messages." "I wouldn't call them...clear," Kol said weakly. Jessica frowned as she processed this. "What did the messages say?" "The Commodore couldn't remember them fully, just that they seemed similar and mentioned something about the past and the present." "The first one...only past," Kol wheezed, "the second one...that was the present." Jessica gave Kol's hand a compassionate squeeze. "Just something about the past and the present? Nothing more than that?" Judman shrugged. "It's all he can remember." They reached Kol's room. Together, Jessica and Judman helped Kol onto his bed and removed his shirt, which still had little splatters of vomit on it. Jessica's face whitened at the sight of the Marksman tattoo on Kol's shoulder. Judman noticed her expression. "You didn't know he was a Marksman?" He asked, standing up quickly. Jessica shook her head. "Well, what will you do about it?" Judman blocked the doorway with his body. He fixed Jessica with a steady look. "Well?" "I..." Jessica swallowed. "I won't tell anyone. It will just take a little while to get used to. Why--?" "Why is he here instead of wherever the other Marksmen are? Because he suffered amnesia during the battle of the 305 Hopeful. He was in a rather large fire. Lucky to be alive at all really, but he completely lost his memory. He has no recollection of who he used to be." Jessica bit her lip, pondering this. Kol inched himself into a sitting position on his bed. "I'm feeling better now, Judman, I really am. No need to come flying over to help me," he said wryly, and Judman went back to his place on the wall with a look that said he clearly thought Kol was being stubborn. "Look--" Kol said to Jessica, but he never finished his sentence. Alarms from every speaker started blaring, and in the distance the three of them could hear rumbles as if the hull was being struck. Judman sprinted out of the room just in time to hear the message. "Vasari attacking! Everyone to their stations! Vasari attacking!" Then the speakers, all of them, shut off with a click. The silence after the alarm was deafening. Then, slowly, a voice spoke with a distinct Vasari hiss. "Alexander Kol....we come for you." The hallway erupted in screams.
now ill get back to the advent introduction.
ALSO....i stole the 500th slot
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