I for one have always enjoyed the sardonic wisdom of Murphy's Laws. There appear to loads of them, corollaries and extensions too!
The rules? 1. No big 'G''ing answers, please.
2. No "Overkill" just one or two per post...gotta leave some for others, right?
3. Have fun!
To get it started: 1. Whatever can go wrong, will.
2. What ever can go wrong will, at the most inopportune time and you will be blamed.
Let the games begin!
Sounds like you're in trouble mate! LOL!
Remember, the Murph said:
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
A couple more of Murphy's Laws (as the thread starter noted, there are dozens of them):
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will go wrong first will be the one that will do the most damage
If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it
Not really anything to do with Murphy, but the follow on to the above is 'those that can't teach, teach teachers'
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If a Doc says "this might be a little uncomfortable" it will hurt like hell.
Location is everything. When it isn't, timing is.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
If there's a zipper to catch my dick in...OUCH!... I found it.
The one and only time you have lumps in your farts you happen to be wearing white pants.. in public.
,,, you're somewhere else entirely and lost.
In honor of Starkers' zipper problems a Biblical Murphy (Moses Murphy? ) :
"As yee sew, so shall ye rip."
You can bet your bottom dollar that if there's a nice pair of Okla@@Homas to be seen, I'm looking the other way.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Confidence? If I had confidence someone's bound to say I'm too big for my britches.
You were, once.
Good ter see yer back, Cap'n!
Murphy says: When you are ready to speak Pyrate there be none o' yer mates about ter help!
The one time you actually need to read the manual..... it's written in some language you dont understand.
You don't read the manual and your wife is home.
If it ain't broke....you're not trying hard enough.
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
Mother Nature is a bitch
A tornado at a wedding.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
In the famous words of Jack Nicholson on The Bucket List: " Never pass up the chance to go to the restroom, never waste an erection, and never trust a fart!"
I hope that is not too risque, I cleaned it up a little.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
A prick in the thigh is only inches away from a prick in the butt.
Doctor: "Now nurse, please get it right this time... I want you to prick this man's boil."
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
This is why the airplane factory paints perforations at the wing-fuselage joint.
If you open a can of worms, you'll need a bigger one to get them all back in.
First you say it, then you do it. OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Always wear clean underwear in case of an accident.
Never understood that one: see above!
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