Um, Doc, it bain't be glassesstarkers eyesight that I be worried 'bout... me cahoneys, however, now that be anuvver matter.  I mean, I don' wan' 'em hanging t' me knees or nuffin', but then I don' wanna couple o dried up raisins, neither.  Besides, it bain't be her looks wot 'as me worried... it be that ice cold Alaskan blood wot flows thru her veins... the fact that she can stand high up thar on 'er 'bridge t' nowhere' during a blizzard, wearin' nought but a Summer frock.

Again, Doc, ye 'aves it all wrong again.  It's not tha sight o Ms Palin in a bikini that be tha problem... tho I don't fancy it none meself.  Nope, it'd be tha panic wot 'd set in when tha residents o' Florider see's 'normous great icebergs washin' up on thar beaches.  It might fit in wiv 'er 'Igloos Across America' scheme, but it'd do bugger all fer Florider tourism.

Nope, 'tweren't me... tha 'Sister still be in curried cabbage quarantine.  Them froggies 'll do anyfin fer a doubloom, so I reckuns it wur them wot took 'em

Oh, and Doc, 'til ye gits o'er this 'ere Sarah Palin infatuashun fing, ye be demoted frum 1st Mate t' Chief Rum Tester... wiv a bit o' luck ye'll drown yer sorrows n' fergit all 'bout 'er.

I agree, wearing a bikini should be a crime. I think you aught to be nekkid all the time...

Now THAT's a job fer me mate!

Almost fell off the couch laughing!!!! You slayed me that time, me starks! You're promoted to Cap'n.

SK: That's all-moose-t correct!

Just how, I ask anyone could you sleep at night knowing someone so naive (politically and unsophisticated) is one heartbeat from the Presidency in a world like this? I remember discussing Bush with colleagues and having them tell me, "Don't worry...He'll surround himself with knowledgable advisors." Yup: Cheyney, Rumsfeld et. al. Unfortunately, we left the nation in the hands of incompetents. Do we have the right to complain?

Never again!

Bebi .... Its so frightening to think that she could become the President. Ye Gawds! This cult of Hockey Mom for Prez has got to stop.

I never thought I'd espouse the position of demanding understanding of the issues as the qualification to vote but I absolutely

and deeply believe that if a citizen cannot explain the issues (NOT espouse a position) he/she should not be allowed to vote.

Orright, DrJo, ye can be 1st Mate an' Executive Rum Tester, meanin' ye'd sorta be Dr Guy's superior n' 'ave  ter taste tha same rum t' be shure 'e be drinkin' it right.

*** that be all I needs... 2 drunken doctors. ***

I'll say it's bloody scary... I watched both clips (Fey & Palin) and I couldn't tell 'em apart.  However, while Fey was obviously lampooning Palin, I thought her answers on the economic bailout, jobs, health care and foreign policy were more convincing... more is the pity she's not running for VP.

Yup, shure has... p'raps McCain could be persuaded to drop Palin for Fey instead. I reckon that convincing him it's a bad idea  to turn the country into a frozen wasteland so everyone can build igloos to ease the housing/mortgage crisis would just about do the trick... being he likes to vacation in sunny Florida.

I reckuns ye'll be sayin' "Sarah who?" after 10 minutes of deck swabbin'.  Ye knows ye gits blisters frum moppin' n' scrubbin'... so yer best t' stick wiv tha rum testin'

'Ere, n' I'll tell 'e summat else... yer nuevos 'd be safe wiv old 'illary... she's orright  Put it this way, ol' Bill done a lot wurse than ye could ever do when 'e didn't 'ave sexual relashuns wiv that thar woman... now ye don' 'ear 'im singin' soprano, do 'e?? I see'd 'im on 'Tha View' wiv Whoopi Goldberg tha ovver day, n it sounded t' me like 'e still 'aves 'e's cahoneys.

I see'd 'im on 'The View' n' 'e still sounded like a baritone t' me.

Aw that's only when he be doin' Guns N' Roses n 'personating Axel Rose... tho I 'aves ter wonder who's squeezin' 'em when he 'its tha high notes..

Key To Understanding Cap'n Sir Starkers:

Pirate Talk for Ship Parts and Articles, Supplies-

• Abaft - from the old English for 'on or to the aft', toward the back end or stern of the boat
• Athwartships - at a right angle to the midline or centerline of the boat, which is an imaginary line drawn from bow to stern that equally divides the ship
• Binnacle - from the Latin word for 'dwelling place', a box or case which houses the compass upon the deck.
• Cackle Fruit - chicken eggs
• Charlie Noble - upon finding that the stack for the ship's galley was copper, merchant captain Charles Noble then required it to be kept polished, the stack took his name thereafter. Old Salts would kid around with the new recruits and tell them to find or summon Charlie Noble.
• Coaming - A vertical rim surrounding hatch openings and such to keep any water on deck from entering below it, excellent for tripping on
• Duffle - everything a sailor owns, also the nickname for the bag which holds it
• Fo'c's'le - an abbreviation for forcastle, the forwardmost part of the ship
• Futtock Shrouds - pieces joining the rigging of lower and top masts
• Head - A marine toilet, which could be no more than a hole cut in the decking at the head or bow of the ship that would allow waste to go into the sea, the waves hopefully washing away what may have not hit the water (also called a jardin), NOT the same as the poop deck!
• Holystone - bars of sandstone would be used to scrub the decks, the softer areas of the stone would wear away and leave holes, also, the sailors were said to look like they were praying as they knelt to scrub
• Jacob's Ladder - the rope ladder used to climb aboard the ship
• Mizzen - the third mast from the bow on a vessel having three or more masts, or the mast immediately aft of the main-mast
• Monkey - A small cannon
• Monkey Jacket - a short waist jacket worn by midshipmen
• Orlop - the deck for stowing cables
• Poop Deck - the deck that is the furthest and the highest back, usually above the Captain's quarters, NOT to be confused with the head!
• Rullock - the cutaway or notch on the side rail of the boat from which oars would pivot
• Salmagundi - A popular dish of chopped meat ( beef, fish, chicken, pig, turtle, etc.), eggs, anchovies, onions, grapes, cabbage or herring, seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic, oil, vinegar

Pirate Talk for Crew and Others-

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• Cockswain - originally the Captain's attendant who would row him to and from the ship, later came to mean the helmsman
• "Drivelswigger" - one who reads about nautical terms too much
• Flibustier- term the French gave pirates of the Golden Age
• Freebooter - from the Dutch for 'free' and 'plunder', reference to a pirate
• Jack Tar - early sailor's tarpaulin clothing was infused with tar, which some say also deflected sword blows in addition to shedding water, similar to Joe Blow or John Q. Public
• Landlubber - 'lubber' was an old English word for a big, slow, clumsy person, and this term was aimed at those persons on ship who were not very skilled or at ease with ship life, as if to say, "You were no better on the land."
• Picaroon - from the Spanish word for rascal, it was applied to a form of verse about pirates that was satirical or humorous
• Powder Monkey - a gunner's assistant

Pirate Phrases for Crew Activity-

• Swing the Lead - A lead weight swung from a line into water when near shore was a way to measure depth, the job's simple requirements caused the phrase to evolve into a term for slacking off
• Take a Caulk - The deck's gaps were sealed with oakum and tar, and napping on them would leave black lines on the clothes. Someone going to nap on deck could say they were going to "take a caulk"

Pirate Slang for Drink-

• Black Jack - large drinking cups made of leather that were made stiffer with an application of tar
• Bumboo - A drink of the West Indies made with watered rum and flavored with sugar and nutmeg
• Grog - the nickname of a British admiral was applied to a mix of water and rum, the rum was a cheap antiseptic and flavor mask for the spoiled water that sailors often encountered while at sea
• Hogshead- a large barrel or cask holding 63 to 140 gallons, usually referring to alcohol

Pirate Talk for Death-

• Davy Jones's Locker - the imaginary place at the ocean bottom that holds dead sailors and pirates...a reference to death. Davy Jones was said to be an evil spirit lurking at sea, waiting to escort dead sailors or pirates to his place or locker at the bottom of the waters. He went on to have a successful music career with the Monkees many years later.
• To be in Davy's Grip: To be close to death, or frightened.
• To have the Davies or the Joneseys: To be frightened
• To see you to Davy Jones: To threaten to kill some one

Ye done good thar, DrJo... tho ye missed some...

*Load of old bollocks... refers to tall stories, fibs and bigger lies.

*Bain't... sort of contraction of "Be buggered if I will" and 'I ain't".

*Cocks'n... put things away in tha head so tha cap'n didn' do 'eself any damage wiv 'e's hook.

*Cabinboy... often a girl disguised as a boy, done tha cap'n speshul favours on long voyages

*Wench... shared by tha crew below decks, a stowaway the cap'n didn' know about.

*Swagger... walk developed by pirates to combat swaying/rising/dipping of ship... exacerbated by rum.

*Sawbones... crewman with some medical knowledge, had sadistic ways of treating crewmens social diseases.

*Gobstopper... small sized cannonball, put in the mouths of crewmen who talk too much.

*Keelhaulin'.... speshul treatment for crewmen with itchy backs, relief was found by rubbing against the barnacles on tha keel.

an' I 'aves me trusty blunderbuss fer any trouble makin' blaggards.

I had a STD once... my first wife spent money faster than I could earn it... so I ended up with Sexually Transmitted Debt.

Indeed. And, to one extent or another they'll be right! It's up to us to keep them honest, my friend. We must be ever vigilent.

Best treated with Divorcicillin or Takeheroffthecardandall. Or, There's keelhaulin'.

First Mate and Rum Tester here: Cap'n is up on the poop deck and DrGuy is in the crowsnest. Them stowaways can be troublin'

I say leave some rope about. Wot wit' the heavy seas no tellin' wot'll 'appen. Pr'aps she's after our rum 'n booty!

That would be troublin' indeed, Deionychus. Ye be a Greek Pyrate?  Tell me wot d'ye do wit' stowaways wot want yer rum 'n booty there?

Hey, Mates...have you seen the latest Palin parodies on SNL? I'm waiting til they do Biden as well....in fact, all those pols need a good dose of what they really look like. Might improve their humility.

I don't want to see Palin attacked brutally. Honestly, she doesn't rate points (nor should she expect any) for being female, but independent female voters in the critical 4 states won't take kindly to personal or belittling attacks. More so: It'll drive them to the Republican side....and understandably so.

As to the "Bailout"...the 101 pages look slightly better than the 3 page 'quicky'. I'm just afraid it's not going to work, or that foreign countries holding some of the toxic paper (mortgages w/o hope of payment) will sneak them in . The 'insuring' rather than frank buyout was a good idea I feel. About the CEO thing, if greed was a provable motive then punishment should ensue.

And thanks, I.D. That was headed in the wrong direction.