I am Dee Snider of Borg... ya know, it's pretty amazing that I still fit into my Twisted Sister getup after all these years, tho I guess I must have put the beef on cos I can't fit the cucumber in a sock down my pants anymore.

I am Dave Gara of Borg... I don't need a cucumber in a sock, not with the enormous implant Doc of Borg gave me.

I am Alice Cooper of Borg....  when you have a snake as big as mine you don't need cucumbers in socks or implants.

 A tad generous with 'em points ain't yer, Cap'n?

Riddle me this:

Where do dead Borgs go?

The Borg morgue.

Aye, but she gets extra points for stealing Three Stoooges ideas to govern... nyuk. nyuk, nyuk.

I am Mortician of Borg... hey Doc, some of those stiffs you sent use were butt ugly.  In one case my assistant refused to pick up the 'head' end, so instead took the feet to carry it out to the meat wagon... when it broke wind (as corpes often do) he retorted: "If you're strong enough to fart you bastard, you can make your own way to the morgue!!!"

I am Morgue Assistant of Borg... one of the cadavers you sent us had an enormous implant... like it gives a whole new meaning to the word "stiff".

I am Funeral Director of Borg.... I'll say!!!  Beats me how I'm gonna close the lid on his casket!!!

I am Wife of the Deceased of Borg.... um, is there a pickle or some other preservative so that I may keep his implant??

I am Microhoo of Borg... formerly known as Microsoft and Yahoo, but we assimilated to take on those bastards over at Google and nip their advertising implants in the bud.

I am Wikipedia of Borg... does this mean you'll be boasting a bigger implant than Google??

I am Steve *smug* Jobs of Borg... not to be outdone, I'm going to buy Google AND Ask.com so as not to get left even further behind.

I am Sarah Palin of Borg... and if you people don't remove references to my extravagent taste in wardrobe; my political gaffs; igloos and my 'bridge to nowhere', I'm gonna sue you all.

I are Deaf of Borg... would you mind repeating that, sonny, only speak up next time... would you mind repeating that, sonny, only next time speak up.... would you mind repeating..... oh, I forgot... I have old-timers of Borg as well.

I'm Prostatus of Borg and my prostate surgery left me incontinent.  Boy am I pissed.

I are Nocturnal of Borg...I can only come out when it am dark outside. Can I borrow a flashlight. I broke mine when i hit Kieth Griffin's on the head and dislodged his 'implant'. Relplacer of Borg probably lost his spectacles again. 

I am Lady GaGa of Borg... yes it's true, I do have an implant as well, but what that means is that I actually can when poeople tell me to go assimilate myself.

I am Professor Kinsey of Borg... noted sex researcher and assimilation therapist. So, Lady GaGa, does this mean you get to enjoy twice the pleasure??

I am Editor of the London Times of Borg... Lady GaGa, our readers would be interested to know, do you practice safe assimilation with yourself, or feel precautions are unnecessary because you've become too familiar??

(click link above to see what all the fuss is about)

I am Herm Afrodite of Borg... what pisses me is that the man me can't bugger off fishing without her when it's that time of the month.

I am David Bowie of Borg... hey Lady GaGa of Borg, how about you become my China Girl of Borg so I can have the best of both worlds?

I am Mick Jagger of Borg... I'll take the poon but pass on the peen.  I have haemhorroids, you know.

I am Keith Richards of Borg... peen, poon, who cares... just pass me the pipe

I am Liberace of Borg... hmmm, just think! If I were like Lady Gaga, I could be the only woman I ever had.

I am David Bowie of borg... now see here, Possibly Lady GaGa of Borg, I didn't snaffle your daisy-dukes... I'm already wearing Liberace's and simply wouldn't need them.

I am Rock Hudson of Borg... aw I dunno yours wouldn't fit Libby, Possibly Lady Gaga of Borg, his implant is considerably smaller than yours.

I am Boy George of Borg.... orright, I'll own up, Possibly Lady gaGa of Borg, it was me who stole your daisy dukes. There, now I've admitted it!!  So do you really want to hurt me?  Aw, go on.... look, I've even brought my own whips and chains.

I am Madam Sadista of Borg.... come here Boy George of Borg, cos oooh I really wanna hurt you.  Oh, in case you need it, here's a pencil and paper to write down the "safe" word...I'm a bit deaf, you know.

I am Bill Clinton of Borg (former customer of Madam Sadista of Borg).... best you write down that "safe" word in large letters, probably with a felt marker.  Not only is Madam Sadista of Borg deaf, she's also rather myopic... can't see past the end of her nose.

I am Special Agent Seely Booth of Borg... Hey, Bones, I know you're good with corpes n' all, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in inspecting the 'stiff' I've had since we met in the first episode.

I am Dr. Temperence Brennan of Borg.... Booth, it is not logical that you'd have a 'stiff' for me, but if you whip it out I'll take a look at it, in the name of science, of course.

I am Special Agent Fox Mulder of Borg... Dr. Brennan, I have an assimilation addiction and was wondering if you'd check out my implant for abnormalities, in the name of science, of course.

I am Special Agent Dana Scully of Borg... what is it with FBI boys and their implants?  I guess it's the nature of the job, wanting to 'probe' all the time??